The Luxury of Grief: Healing

Saying goodbye is the easy part. Do you come closer to the bed and hug him? Do you lay next to him ( right in bed beside him), closing your eyes and breathing along with each of his breaths? Holding one of his hands with both of yours? Sitting in a chair nearby works, too. Or standing in the doorway, head down, quietly cursing? Complex emotions mixed with memory. Trauma revived ,re-felt, and said goodbye to, again. Humming his favorite Mose Allison tune while tapping your foot against his dresser.

Grief needs its targets. It finds it place and goes there, even if you had every intention of avoiding it, ducking into the first loud room you find and drowning it with sound , with tequila, with tears.

All i can say is: put on your hat and slip into your shoes. Place the sunglasses over your eyes and start walking. Don’t stop until you know exactly where you want to plant yourself. Sit down amongst the pine needles, pour yourself a cup of coffee and wait.

I promise you your grief will settle, will seep, will soothe its way into you. Resist the temptation to rise and flee. Remain seated. Stay with it.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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