Last week we talked about the gap between who you are and who you want to be. Life is made in how you handle the gap between the two. Will you give up or level up?
If, like me, the thought of giving up makes you want to vomit in revolt, then you need to start right now focusing on your decisions. We need to hyper-focus in on our intention, for without intention we are nothing. So, what sort of man do you want to be?
I know that is a very unfair and difficult question to answer. If defining your manhood was easy then we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place. A very important truth about life is that you do not need to know anything beyond your next, immediate step.
Gaining control requires giving up control.
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We spend most of our lives acting with knowledge about only the next step or two. When we drive anywhere we know the current road and the next exit, but we trust that when we get to that exit the next road will show itself. We cannot see that next step until we are on our way there. The same goes for a career. For a family. For love. All things are revealed to us when we need to know them.
Of course, what I am talking about requires we say, ”Well, dang, I’m really just along for the ride.” Gaining control requires giving up control. Accepting this contradictory concept has changed my life. So, when I talk about knowing the man you want to be, all I really mean is knowing the values and principles you want to embrace.
If you are focusing on building your masculine energy this would mean such things as passion, joy, energy, boldness, strength, optimism, gratitude, playfulness, and appreciation. A lot of these things, you might have noticed, stretch beyond masculine traits and embody a larger concept of living a beautiful life.
When you understand the traits you want to represent, consciously living them becomes easier. To make decisions that align with the man you want to be you need to ask yourself, “Is this action acceptable for who I want to be?” Not who I am, but who I am striving to be. Focus on that exit, that next turn, where your vehicle is headed and not where it currently is.
This sounds so cheesy and simple, but I can tell you that when I have questioned lifestyles, behaviors, attitudes, or ideas and I have asked myself this question my response has either been, “No this isn’t the man I want to be,” or “Yes, this is the man I want to be.”
The reason this works is because you are looking big picture, not immediate. Effectively, you are seeing what is going to benefit you more in the long run, and change is made in the long run, slowly, decision by decision.
Are you OK with being subpar, or do you want more for yourself and know that others deserve the best from you?
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You will deal with setbacks. You are going to fail sometimes. To err is human. That is OK. But, that is not a reason to turn back into man-boy and give up completely. Here’s a secret, free of charge, life isn’t fair. Stop expecting the world to be handed to you when you aren’t willing to do the dirty work to bring it in to your palm.
So how should you deal with these inevitable setbacks? Seek perfection. Perfection in the sense of trying to make the best possible decision, with the information given, and the circumstances demanded in any given situation. Do this every day and even when things do not turn out how you hoped you can live knowing you tried your hardest. Finally, you need to learn from your setbacks. A failure is nothing more than an opportunity to be better next time so take advantage of life’s instruction.
In the end, how does this translate to business, entrepreneurship, or a creative endeavor? Your success in business is determined not only by the work you do but also by your character. You can make good money, not bad money.
So the choice really comes down to the man you want to be. Are you OK with being subpar, or do you want more for yourself and know that others deserve the best from you? The question, “Why do this?” is not really a question at all. A question implies you have a choice. But, in this situation, do you really have a choice to be anything other than the best version of yourself?
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Photo: Photo by Alvaro Reyes on Unsplash