The Problem With Having a Resting Bitch Face

I’m pretty sure that I came out of the womb with a cranky look on my face. Since I’ve been in grade school I’ve been accused of glaring at others and giving nasty looks. I was told this by teachers as well as students. It’s a serious concern and a quick way to make enemies.

Part of the problem is that I’m kind of a daydreamer. So when I’m gazing out into space, I’m not intentionally focusing on anyone. Then add the angry face on top of that and voila you have created a issue you aren’t even aware of. You just gave somebody a nasty glare and now they are looking for a fight. I will tell you that I have spent a lifetime of being misconstrued. I can be a bit quiet and then put in the inadvertent crabby look and people innately want to dislike you.

I especially became aware of my “face problem” when I was bartending during college. I would get comments like “you wouldn’t look so bitchy if you actually smiled”? Really, I looked bitchy? Wow, I had no idea. I’m actually a really nice person. Most of the time I have a huge smile on my face, but you smile too much and then you have another worry… crows feet.

Most recently I was approaching another woman in a store. We were walking towards each other and truthfully I didn’t even notice her at first. I was deep in thought again. When I finally tuned into her face I saw she was looking at me crossly. I smiled and said hi. She stopped and said “hi, you looked like you were in such a bad mood, I was afraid that you were going to yell at me”. Oh my gosh! Guilty again of that darn grouchy looking face. I said, “no not angry it’s just my perpetual resting bitch face”, and we both laughed. Even though I’m all about peace and love, I can’t help that my face unconsciously says f*** you!

Now I’m not going to say having a bitchy look is all bad. I’ve learned that it can come in handy sometimes. People are a little more cautious when they aren’t sure of your mood. It can also scare my child into doing the right thing. I am including my involuntary frown in my anti aging strategy as well. I’ve read that it takes 26 muscles to smile and 43 to frown. Frowning is like doing high impact aerobics for your face! So to all the misunderstood ladies with the resting bitch faces, use those muscles so that you can look younger longer. Either way you will still piss people off… and remember to embrace your face.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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