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There’s something wrong with me. I don’t know what it is but there’s absolutely something wrong with me. You don’t believe me? Let me prove it to you.
I’m not good enough. Good enough for what exactly? For everything. I’m not funny enough, or smart enough, or good looking enough, or strong enough, or patient enough, or successful enough, or happy enough, or fulfilled enough. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I can’t keep a relationship. I don’t make enough money. Even when I do, it never seems like enough.
I told you there’s something wrong with me. You still don’t believe me? Let me prove it to you.
I’m unlovable. How do I know? Well it’s obvious, isn’t it? I’m ugly. I’m stupid. I’m broken. I’m overly emotional. I’m not emotional enough. My family’s a mess. Let me not even get into what I’ve done in the past. Or the thoughts that go through my mind. Once you find that out, you’ll head out the door running.
I told you there’s something wrong with me. Want more proof?
I’m not important. I feel like a ghost. Nobody really sees me. No one cares about my story. No one cares about my issues, fears and challenges. And they certainly don’t care about my hopes, dreams and desires. My needs don’t matter. No one ever really listens to me. Why should they? I’m not important. I don’t matter.
I told you there’s something wrong with me.
I’m a fraud. None of the shit I share on social media is real. The Instagram posts, the Facebook updates, the Snapchats….they’re all just a mask. A mask to prove to the world how there’s nothing wrong with me.
I am good enough! See, look how many friends I have.
I am lovable! Look how great I look. It only took me 12 attempts and 3 filters to get it right, but I mean come on! I look so cool and happy, don’t I?!
I am important! I do matter! I have 200 likes and 45 comments!! You see!
Ugh, who am I kidding? I’m a fucking fraud. There’s definitely something wrong with me. None of this is working. How does everyone else do it? They all look so happy.
I told you there’s something wrong with me. I guess I just have to try harder.
I guess I’m going to have to hustle my ass off at work so that I can make loads of money. And then I’m going to hit up the gym and create a body that guys envy and women swoon over. Yea, that’ll do it for sure! And then I’m going to go out and buy the best clothes, the best car and the best apartment. Uff, that sounds great! I’m also going to eat and hang out at the best places. Then I’m going to find the prettiest girl I can and lock her in, till death do us part. Yes! I’m on my way now. Then I’m going to post more pictures and share my awesome new life with everyone. I can’t wait!
Then….then, I’ll absolutely know that nothing is wrong with me anymore!
But will I? Is my sense of self-worth, importance and love derived entirely from external sources? And if I don’t get those things, will that be further proof that there really is something wrong with me?
We Have Been Sold a Lie
We have been sold a lie. We have been sold on the idea that we are not good enough as we are and that in order to be good enough, we must adhere to certain external standards that society has placed on us. We must think, be, do, act and appear in a way that meets very specific guidelines or else we risk being ostracized from the tribe.
You want to know the worst part? We actually bought it. We bought this idea that something is wrong and/or missing and that whatever it is that we’re wrong about or that is missing needs to be insatiably searched for outside of ourselves. And to make matters worse, we compare the worst of our insides with the best of everyone else’s edited and manicured outsides.
We’ve also sold this lie to ourselves. We sold it to ourselves during a time when we were vulnerable and impressionable. A time when we weren’t fully developed and didn’t have the proper perspective to make accurate assessments about life.
We absorbed and interpreted every word, facial expression and action directed our way; as well as every word not expressed, facial expression not seen and action not taken.
Then we set off into young adulthood, acquiring armor to shield us from our own projections. Some of us went into hiding, guarding ourselves from the world. Others pompously rode off on our high horse in an attempt to prove our worth to the world.
Each of us donned a mask that helped us cope with the dread of discovering that something really is innately wrong with us, that we’re really not good enough, lovable or important, which would then mean that we don’t matter and will therefore be doomed to a lifetime of emptiness, isolation and slow decay.
Can you see how much bullshit these lies are? How self-limiting, self-destructive and soul crushing?
Would you ever tell the 10-year-old version of yourself that there’ something wrong with him? That he’s not good enough, that he’s unlovable or that he doesn’t matter? Would you even tell a friend or family member that?
And yet this is exactly what we’re telling ourselves all the time….or at least more than we think.
There Is Nothing Wrong with You
Have you ever stopped to question these beliefs? Have you ever looked into the perspectives that you carry about yourself and about life? Have you ever questioned their truth or validity? What are these beliefs made of? Where did they come from? Why do I insist on keeping them around? Who would I be if they didn’t exist? Is this not worth investigating?
You are a unique and necessary expression of this one life. There has never been and will never be anyone like you. You have an amazing opportunity, right here and right now, to take ownership of these beliefs and to finally free yourself from their prison. Use this insight as fuel to discover who you actually are beneath the false, limiting beliefs that have been unconsciously narrating and guiding your entire life.
Take a moment after you finish reading this article to contemplate what it would be like to not carry these beliefs anymore.
Who would you be if you no longer carried the belief that there’s something wrong with you, or that you’re not good enough, or that you’re unlovable, or that you’re not important or don’t matter? How would you think? How would you feel? How would you interact in the world? What would life be like for you?
This is who you truly are. This is what you’re capable of. And this is what’s waiting for you when you decide to question and dissolve the limiting beliefs that have been holding you back from the beautiful life you deserve.
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Photo Credit: Getty Images