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David Mamet is one of my literary heroes. He’s known for writing some of the most phenomenal dialogue in stage and film history, few dramatists since the days of Paddy Chayefsky create character as well as David Mamet.
Consider the classic “Will you go to lunch?” scene between Al Pacino and Kevin Spacey in Glengarry Glen Ross as a prime example of this.
Mamet is the writer/director of a criminally underrated film released in 2000 called State and Main. The film is a screwball comedy about a Hollywood film crew invading a small town in Vermont which lampoons the excesses and the narcissism of Hollywood.
William H. Macy plays the film’s director. And the late Philip Seymour Hoffman plays the film’s overly-serious screenwriter.
There’s a great running bit about the film crew coming to Vermont to shoot a film called The Old Mill when they discover the mill burned down 40 years prior. “But first you gotta change the title.”
There’s also something about a dead horse…
There’s a great scene between Macy and Hoffman that really stuck out to me after a recent call with my coach.
Hoffman’s character is fretting about being dishonest with his writing.
“You want me to lie.” – said Hoffman’s character.
“It’s not a lie. It’s a gift for fiction.”
During this call with my coach, I got hyper present to the dangerous, deadly, and terrifying lies I tell myself.
My friends, I have been living a lie all my life.
Here’s a quick side note. A good coach is great as supporting their clients to see these lies for themselves. The clients may not like these reflections – or honestly, they may not like the coach after this – but these reflections may end up being the most valuable thing about the relationship with their coach.
And if my coach is reading this – you know I’m right.
Have you ever stopped to think of just how much of our lives and how much of human existence is completely fictional and made up?
- State and national borders are completely made up. That long line that separates Canada and the United States was declared on a sheet of paper signed in 1846. Was there a real reason other than both Britain and the United States making a claim to the land why this was chosen?
- Reach into your pocket. Is there a dollar bill in your pocket? Why and how was this small sheet of paper determined to be worth $1? And why was a sheet of paper that looks different, but is the same size, determined to be worth $100? It’s because people made up and declared that this sheet of paper would be worth $100.
- Even rivalries between sports teams are completely made up. Look at the Alabama and Auburn rivalry. There’s no reason whatsoever why a university 128 miles away from another should hate each other. There have been some brilliant men and women educated at both schools. Brilliant authors and businesspeople from Alabama, and brilliant engineers and businesspeople from Auburn. I – a proud Alabama graduate – am writing this article on an Apple Computer. Apple CEO Tim Cook is an Auburn man. Ken Mattingly went to the moon and flew two space shuttle missions. But when the men in Crimson and White battle the men in Orange and Blue in late November, we’re required to hate each other. Because…reasons. That’s why.
Again, it’s not a lie. It’s a gift for fiction.
I’m a writer. I’m a da*mn fine writer. I consider myself one of the finest writers in the world. And that’s no idle boast.
However, as someone who is such a skilled story crafter, I find myself crafting the tallest tales about myself. And as someone with big dreams and aspirations, this lands me in trouble more often than I care to admit.
Consider this lie that I tell about myself. “I’m unlovable. I’ll never be able to find the partner I want to spend my life with.”
This is one of the favorite lies I tell myself. Why would any woman of quality want to spend any time with me? Let’s look back at all of the women I’ve been involved with in the past – this is clearly untrue. They’re all brilliant, beautiful, charming, and successful women who just happened to not be right for who I’m being in the world.
A lie I tell myself regularly is that I’m not worthy or talented enough to share my writing talents with WWE or Saturday Night Live. Why try to get involved with these people because I’ll never succeed?
This is clearly a lie. Just a few paragraphs earlier, I write “I consider myself one of the finest writers in the world.”
These are just a few of the lies I’ve grown to believe about myself.
Consider this: when we believe the lies we tell ourselves, those lies become the truth. We believe those lies as if they paint the picture of our lives.
We all do this. You know it. I know it. And Ralph the bulldog from Iowa knows this. (Hi Ralph! Who’s the good boy? #callback)
If I could borrow a phrase from Aaron Sorkin (another one of my literary heroes,) “You can’t handle the truth!”
The practice I’m taking on – and I invite you all to take on – is to look at the lies you’re telling yourself. Look at them every day. And put these lies to paper.
Get out a sheet of paper – every day – and list out the lies you tell yourself. From the little white lies like “I don’t know how,” to the big, whopping lies like “I’m unworthy of love.”
List these lies. Get them out of the closet. And shine a huge light on these lies!
And watch these lies scurry away like the roaches they are. I’ve been taking this practice on for but two days, and already I feel a sense of transformation and movement in my life.
It’s a practice. It’s a practice that won’t take hold overnight. But when you shine a light on your truth, your truth will set you free!
But first, you must uncover your lies. Shine your light on your lies and watch them run.
It’s a lie and it’s a gift for fiction. It’s a both/and…just sayin’. #lifecoachjokes #ontologicalhumor #hashtag
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