What Makes You Good Enough?

I did something kind of crazy last week. One of the craziest things I’ve ever done in the name of fitness.

Walking into this room – heated to 105 degrees Fahrenheit – I thought I lost my mind. And I was joined by maybe 15 other people who lost their minds as well.

Who needs a mind anyway?

Flash forward ninety minutes and about a gallon and a half of sweat later, I finished my first hot yoga class. And I gotta say…I’m hooked. After the class, I was drenched with sweat but felt energized like I’d never been before.
Now, even at room temperature, every time I practice yoga, I struggle with the balancing moves. During this class, a move called the standing bow pose came up. I really struggled with this one and the wet sponge thing I had going on wasn’t helping.

It was obvious I was getting frustrated with myself.

“Ryan, pull back. Don’t worry about it. That’s why this is called a yoga practice, not a yoga perfect,” the instructor said.

I’m doing the craziest fitness thing I’ve ever done. I’m stumbling and falling and sweating like an entire passel of pigs, and I didn’t believe I was enough to be in that room. But thanks to that awesome reminder (shout out to Steven the instructor) I was brought back to the present moment.

This opens up a bigger question in my life, and I believe many guys’ lives as well.

What is enough? Who is enough? Who is to judge what or who is enough

Port Chester, NY (my new home) is right across the border into Greenwich, CT. Port Chester seems to be more of a blue-collar town while Greenwich is one of the wealthiest cities in the United States.

I had to take my laptop – the same one on which I’m writing this article right now – to the Apple Store for a possible repair. The closet location was in Greenwich. And while I drive a new car for me – it’s a 2014 model Ford Escape – I was surrounded by brand new Teslas, Beemers, and Ferraris. And I must say, I felt inferior in every stretch of the imagination.

As I’m walking down the street toward the store, my inner dialogue was yapping like a Chihuahua on meth. “Who am I? Why am I here? Why don’t I leave and go back to my own kind? You’re a backwoods yokel from Alabama and you’re here? Nobody’s gonna like you. Get outta here!” I could go on.

Side note: your inner dialogue is irrational and crazy. And those thoughts can pour down the drain pretty quickly.
These trips out to Greenwich are simply a side effect of this story that I am not enough. But who dishes out the enough ‘round these here parts?

Who dishes out the enough? You do!

I’m serious! You are the only one who can say and believe you’re enough.

Consider this not entirely hypothetical situation; you’re in the new stages of a relationship with an amazing woman. You’re great friends. You have a deep, spiritual connection. You enjoy each other’s company. And you’re scared to death.

While you can’t read her mind, you can certainly read your own mind and your own thoughts. And your thoughts all go toward one thing.

“Will I be good enough for her?”

Enough? What’s not enough?

“Am I good enough? Am I good looking enough? Will I be good enough in bed? Am I smart enough? Am I funny enough? Am I enough?”

I’ve got something you might want to consider. And bear with here, because this might blow your minds into fine powder.

Ready?

Has it occurred to you that she might be going through the same “not enough” tango?

It ain’t JUST you, brother.

I’m serious! You are not a unique snowflake!

And yeah, I get it. There are, what, 7.4 billion people in the world? There are 7.4 billion different stories. Your version of not enough is probably not the same as anyone else’s. In fact, it probably isn’t.

But…the dance is still the same.

How can you combat this? How can you defeat it?

I’ve got sad news…you can’t. You can’t beat it.

But you CAN make it your own. You can own it!

How?

Two words…authenticity and soul.

If you live your life and create your life with authenticity and soul, people can see the real you. And they can judge for themselves if you’re enough for them.

Look at the late Gregg Allman. Was he ever the flashiest keyboardist? Was he blessed with a voice like Paul McCartney or Philip Bailey? No and no.

But his legacy is of authentically bearing his soul in his music. And that’s what made him a legend.

From the opening riff of songs like Whipping Post was there ever a doubt that Gregg was pouring his heart and soul into every note and every word?

What makes you enough? Get real with yourself and the people in your life. That what makes you enough.

In any part of your life, do you see yourself as not enough? If you do, and I know you do somewhere, I’d love to work with you. Shoot me an email at [email protected] to schedule a free sample coaching session. Let’s uncover your enough.

What’s funny is that I know I’m enough. I know I’m good enough to live the great life that I’ve created for myself.
But the old story has legs. And claws. And it won’t let go unless I take a hammer to those claws!

It’s a process.

Now, guess where I’m headed next? Sweat will be involved.

That’s enough for this week.

Photo by Jase