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I didn’t grow up with a strong male role model, so I had to settle for the likes of television role models like Superman, Batman (Michael Keaton’s portrayal), and George Jefferson. If I had a real-life male role model, I’m sure he would have pleaded with me to “sow my wild oats.”
I had no idea what this term meant, but because I watched so much television growing up, I was able to read between the lines and guess it pretty much meant that from the time I was able to sneak the newest Victoria’s Secret magazine into my room until the time I was about 25, I was supposed to re-create the Tom Hanks’ movie, Bachelor Party every weekend, complete with the donkey and “recreational drugs.”
Being who I am, I did have lots of fun in college (for the whole two semesters I managed to maintain the necessary grades) and I met my best friends while attending this particular institution of higher learning. I got into so much trouble (bad trouble) that when I tell these stories, the people who hear them judge the boy in the stories and the man standing before them, and they can’t believe it. This is a testament to how much I’ve matured, thank the Lord.
As with all things in life, there are all types of people, and then everything in between; there are some young men who have a biological imperative to sow their wild oats and there are some who are even-keeled and level-headed more often than not. Some men need to sow their wild oats for many reasons, one of which is high testosterone. Men with higher testosterone levels have a higher sex drives and consequently, they need to do more sowing. This is neither good nor bad; it’s just what it is.
On a spiritual level, I think that there are some people who learn about life through experimenting, getting into it with their sleeves rolled up so to speak, and doing things so they can get feedback and learn. Some of it has to do with the environment in which a person was raised; some environments encourage experimentation whereas some don’t. I also believe that some men (present company included), don’t want to walk around with regrets nagging at their souls, so “getting it in” as much as possible is almost life-or-death. Again, this is just the nature of life.
When we talk about sowing our oats, we have to take age into consideration as well. Obviously, the highest sowing periods are during our teenage years and 20’s, where that frontal cortex of our brain is still developing and is affecting our logic and reasoning.
With this phenomenon/necessity, as with all things in life, it has a beginning, middle, and end. Some people sow so much that they get tired, while some people can keep sowing until it’s time to visit that big movie theatre in the sky. The key is to determine what type of man you are, or what type of man you have in your life, (if you’re a woman reading this) and respond accordingly. In most cases, it’s a matter of getting “it” out of your system and moving forward.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
Is “Sewing their oats” simply another stereotype?
I think one reason a men get vested in sowing their oats is because of gender performance.
Simply put men are expected to have lots and lots of sexual experience, know what they are doing, and know how to please a woman. In fact sexual prowess is something of a defining part of being a “real man”.
Its an expectation heaped on us and we go to great lengths to meet it.