American males, regardless of their ethnicity, sexual orientation, social class, etc. are “baptized” into violence. Within our political, cultural, and historical context, it is the air we first breathe as we exit the womb. Birth is a violent act filled with pain. The residual violence that lingers in our hearts is our wholly unholy Birthright as American males. This violence keeps killing us, and those around us. Men, our women, our children.
Statistics show that males are responsible for 90% of the violence that occurs.
This includes both male on male violence, and male on female violence. Though violence against women is at epidemic levels both in the States and globally, male on male violence is statistically higher. Over 70 % of the victims of male violence are other males. I often tell women that is safe for them to assume that the males in their life; their fathers, brothers, lovers, and friends are victims of violence.
The vast majority of the victims whose stories were recounted to me, too numerous to number, recounted a story with a violent male as the antagonist. The aggressor. The rapist. The shooter. The “MAN.”
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It may be more tempting to assume the opposite—that they are perpetrators. Indeed, that may be a sound assumption, but in reality, it is not as common for men as being a victim. Before the age of 10, the percentage of sexual assaults of boys and girls are nearly the same. 1 in 6 men has been a victim of sexual assault, versus the usual statistic given of 1 in 3 for women. Bottom line is everyone, women, children, and men—make up cumulatively the seemingly endless line of victims of male violence.
Does it not seem strange to you that 90% of the perpetrators of a particular crime would come from one gender, who only makes up about 50% of the global population? It has always dumbfounded me as a violence prevention specialist and trainer. I took the time to get a Master’s Degree in Conflict Resolution and Peacebuilding to learn how to combat community violence. I am a 2nd Degree Blackbelt in a deadly martial art (Jujitsu) and have put in 30 plus years of training, so I never personally experience violence again—without putting up a fight first (with violence, of course).
I focused my professional life and career around violence prevention for women (in both domestic and sexual violence) and men (mostly gang or youth violence). The vast majority of the victims whose stories were recounted to me, too numerous to number, recounted a story with a violent male as the antagonist. The aggressor. The rapist. The shooter. The “MAN.”
As an experienced martial artist, I have taught women’s self-defense for years, as well as classes specifically for men, and co-ed classes. My own commitment to Martial Arts of course, came from being a frequent victim of violence—mostly gang and community violence. Yet, the questions still plaques me—Why do men (and most specifically, American men) love violence?
Is “love” too strong of a word?
No. We love it. Within the atmosphere of violence, we American males “live, and move, and have our being,” (to cop a line from Paul the Apostle.) Why do we love it? Because, within the American context, violence is the overarching paradigm for defining masculinity and self-respect. A man unwilling to use violence to defend their home, family, and nation, is emasculated. They are less than men. Worse than “faggots,” as many of the far-right, gun toting, “pro-American” White racists males would say.
We [Men] are closer intimates of this demon of violence, than we ever are to our lovers, children, or even our mothers.
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Homophobia is driven by violence.
There is an intense correlation and intersectionality between sexism, homophobia, racism, and violence. In the case of American male violence, these groups which can be loosely lumped into the “other” are defined by their demarcation of being separate from the “all-holy brotherhood.” That historically and “divinely” appointed group of White American males—those lofty one’s given the mandate from heaven, the “White Man’s Burden” of needing to exercise so-called “righteous” violence.
We seem to know (as only God can) when to dispense the vial of the plaque of violence. Only when our group lets loose the “hounds of hell” of violence is it then considered just and right. Just within the eyes of our Glorious White God (who looks like a masculine cross between a Viking and Jesus). We are the champions! Of the sacred sacrament of violence.
There is no escape for American men, regardless of color, class, or orientation, from this demon who grasps our hand upon birth, and escorts us to the grave in our end. We are closer intimates of this demon of violence, than we ever are to our lovers, children, or even our mothers. Because the threat of violence, or the need to exercise violence, hangs by our side as our constant companion. It whispers into our ear as boys and men, “Sleep well, we always have an action plan ready. You and your loved ones can rest assured—if anyone dare treads into the domain of your castle, or ‘treads upon your rights,’ you have me to rescue you. If you are willing to kill another, your existence is safe.”
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Our beloved American Action films, which are watched by all to the ends of the earth (the most popular media we export) are all based upon the premise of “righteous” violence. The “MAN’s” family member is murdered. To protect all that is holy, turn wrong back to right, and protect any remaining “innocents,” —we unleash our sacred sacrament; violence.
This message is communicated so well internationally, that those many African’s I met who do not speak English as their first language, can quote all the best lines from the Action heroes in movies. The violent gangs of Johannesburg, South Africa, clone themselves (down to their groups names) on gangs from South Central Los Angeles. Our greatest export is our greatest national treasure—our rapidity to pull the trigger of our beloved guns—-those glorious tools that “Won the West.” John Wayne smiles upon us all from heaven as American males.
A nation whose influence and economic power is based upon three centuries of state and economic violence against kidnapped Africans violently forced into labor, the extermination of Indigenous people for their life-giving lands, and the exploitation of war—have no alternative other than to become infected with an adoration (conscious or unconscious) with violence.
I believe on a macro-level, there is no cure or solution for this love affair American males have with their nursemaid, violence. It runs too thick, too deep. Rather, it is up to each individual man to save himself from the collective madness. That takes a lot of courage. It takes the courage to explore and challenge one’s own personal and family history of violence, as well as their individual connection to it. Save yourself, for no one else can.
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Originally published on www.FrankBlaney.com and is republished on Medium.
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Ugh. This smacks of yellow journalism. So wrong! First, birth is not painful not violent; talk with any doula.
So which is it? Men are forced against their will, like a baptism, to become violent? Or men love violence? And about that last premise, prove that men adore being violent. There’s to much hyperbole to take you seriously or give you the benefit of the doubt.
Thank you Dan Bollinger for sharing your viewpoint. I respectfully stick to my points. First of all, I was in on all of the four births of my son’s. They all cried at the top of their lungs being pushed out a small crevice. Imagine you as an adult getting pushed through a sewer line, getting stuck, and slowly emerging in a mess of liquid on the other side, with some lacerations screaming. That is pretty painful to the point that you scream. And as for the pain the poor women who pushed them out—well my mother said it best.… Read more »
Actually we have been taught to work out emotions, through the influence of suppression, punishment and humiliation for admitting vulnerability. Understanding feelings of vulnerability is necessary to life. In the U.S. culture (as well as others) men lag behind females who group together in cooperation driven by the vulnerability of the kids. Meanwhile men group together in domination, based on fear rather than commitment to higher good. The intelligence of emotions, nature’s report for how well we are following our loving nature, has been ignored. If you hate you feel bad, if you love you feel good. Pretty simple, unless… Read more »
Thank you Robert Rannigan for sharing your thoughts. It is EXACTLY the vulnerability you speak of I urge men to expose themselves to. And the societal suppression of our emotions as men that we must resist—with bravery. Thank you for reading the article and your comment. Please feel free share the article so more men can get in on this conversation to encourage this healing process. Peace—Frank Blaney
I seen and experience women grouping together to pick on men and then when there are no men around, they start turning on each other. Believe me, women these days are doing the same things that they complain about what men do.
We love violence because we were never taught to work out our problems with our employees, family members, etc. In addition, violence permeates our culture in films, TV, radio, comic strips, etc., which shows that violence is the only answer to all our problems. Wealthy people and CEOs like violence because it keeps them on top of the economic Social Darwinism level.
Exactly. Violence makes the economic world go round, not love. War is the biggest paying business. Thanks GGGGG
Also, our religious beliefs “soften” the reality of death by proclaiming a life after death, even one far better than “this life.” People can’t be blamed for not wanting to face the finality of existence, but the failure to do so makes it harder for us to value life, and easier us to accept and participate in violence.
That is an important concept, Denny Coates. Some though utilize faith and a belief in the afterlife to further treasure what we have here. Faith can be a double edged sword, depending on the intellect and spirit with which we wield it. Thank you for reading the article. Peace—Frank Blaney
What of emotional violence? Why do the demographics of violence vary so widely? Is deliberate mis-statement of the facts of a case a form of violence? Is willful ignorance about domestic violence while propagating those same views a form of violence, due to the effect it can have on those whose are denied protection?
Good points. In reality, all physical violence emanates from some form of emotional pain and violence. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? With the youth I have worked with over the years, I can say that the emotional scars run deeper than the physical ones. Thank you trey 1963 for reading the article and your comments. Peace—Frank Blaney
Where do you stand on Richard Grenier’s view that “…people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf…”?
I would tend to agree with that in its factuality. I would tend to disagree with that is its inherent morality. Sad, yet true, “The Chimp.”