Sometimes we don’t know why we feel a certain way or we are continually hitting the same road blocks. If you’re feeling like this right now I want to tell you something: it’s not your fault.
When you are a person who thinks a lot (like me) we sometimes have trouble thinking our way out of a problem. Problems require strategies and concrete actionable plans if you want to move forward in a productive way. Here is what I have realized: it is okay and necessary to fail. And you’re going to fail over and over again until you get that sh*t right. You will (as I have) make the same mistakes repeatedly until you don’t like it enough to change. Change is hard, requires patience (which I have a limited quantity of) and it happens with time (which I have an abstract concept of).
The simple concept is this: you don’t like something that you’re doing; change it.
The complicated part of is: it isn’t easy to change and it takes work. I know there are things about myself that frustrate me and I am working on them. That is what I can do and I’m doing it.
You can do it too, and by “it” I mean change your behavior. You don’t like something about yourself; change it. Some people try talk therapy to do this, other people write in their journals and fins common themes that they want to change. Whatever works; do that and you can do it well.
Do your best and you will be surprised at what follows. I am not the same person that I was three years ago because I made a conscious effort to work on myself in therapy and talk honestly with my friends and support system about what I wanted to change.
A good friend will tell you when you have food your teeth or ice cream on your shirt and they might also point out lovingly that you’re doing something that isn’t helping you. Whether that is hard to hear or not, sometimes it is necessary and ultimately will help you in your metamorphosis to the next phase of your life.
In many cases it is difficult to prepare for what comes next. The most we can try for is to work on ourselves consciously. Go inward and find what you want to do differently and change that. I know that is what I want to do, and I am doing it.
A version of this post was previously published on huffpost.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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