Every Wednesday at 12PM PST, Facebook and Twitter erupt into open combat as fans talk out “who’d win” in a battle between two well known geek-worthy parties, one starting every half hour. Wikipedia links are included to refresh memories on what everybody is capable of, and then it comes down to fans and the fight! Winners are listed in bold. #whodwin Wednesday!
Match #1:
From Milestone Media’s city of Dakota, it’s Hardware facing the armored Avenger, Marvel Comics’ Iron Man!
- Iron Man … I despise Iron Man, and while I think he could be defeated by a bottle of liquor and/or a woman with a “social disease,” he’s beaten the best in his Universe. Hardware… As much as I wanna root for the Brother. I don’t see it.
- Iron Man wins. He rivals the intellect of Reed Richards and Hank Pym. His multiple array of weapons is too much, not to mention he can sustain flight almost indefinitely while Hardware is limited to 3 minutes… *smfh* unibeam from the stratosphere. Fight is over.
- How smart can Hardware be if he can’t stay in the air for longer than 3 minutes? :-/
- 3 minutes? We even have to be trifling in FICTION?
- [Hacking the JLA] is an admirable and almost cute accomplishment. But a broken watch is right at least twice a day. Dude can’t fly for longer than 3 minutes without his rockets over heating…
- If we go armor suit one, the very first armor, then Stark is at a disadvantage since the materials he used we makeshift. But any of the second generation suits should be more than a match for Hardware. Is Hardware among the smartest in the DCU? If not, an unranked intelligence versus a ranked intelligence is completed out matched.
Despite friend of the show Geoffrey Thorne advocating for Curtis Metcalf, the sheer power of Tony Stark seems impossible to deny. Also, new friend of the site Rox Fontaine came in for Hardware … if Blood Syndicate jumped in a well (a supposition that breaks the rules).
Iron Man uninstalls Hardware from the command line.
Match #2:
In an “all James Earl Jones” showdown, Thulsa Doom (from the original Conan the Barbarian movie) versus the Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader!
- Darth Vader. He’s cunning, ruthless and in his own words, “the ability to destroy a planet is nothing to the power of the Force.” And not too many people (save Darth Sidious) uses the Force better than Vader. This man killed an army of Jedi Knights including his own mentor… the only Jedi he didn’t kill or didn’t have a hand in killing was Yoda. AND he killed Darth Sidious. My money is on Vader…
- Ehhhhh, I call Vader. Simply because he could Force choke Doom out from a distance. But I’m willing to switch if somebody has a better argument.
- Thulsa Doom vs. Darth Vader. From comics, it seems like Thulsa’s connected to a god but Vader is the Force. Vader wins going away
- That’s why I really don’t want Vader to have my vote. (even though he’s on my dashboard) He’s a simp, a chump, a shell. The Emperor was the real G. But he choked homeboy out over the PHONE, right? From another ship?
- Thulsa Doom all the way!!! Vader may know how to use the dark side of the force, but he’s still just an old cripple in life support armor. Doom has the supernatural on his side, not to mention hordes of followers that would die for Doom in an instant. Serving Set has it’s advantages to be sure.
- If Luke really was the Chosen One, that whole Universe is screwed. Easy to have “balance” with 1.5 living Jedi.
- I think it’s way more awesome to get a woman to jump to her death, just by asking her to. 🙂
- Not to mention, Doom is how old? He’s got years and experience over Vader for sure.
- Hold up!?!? You sending in a student of Set? SH** man that’s all you had to say!!! Lmao
- I may have to side with Doom as he is a servant of Set. Set is all about opposition. He is the natural and unnatural opposing force for EVERYTHING. Doom wins. I was swayed…
- Doom got killed by Conan. Vader got killed in order to do the right thing.
- Vader was not as evil as everyone gives him credit for. The other Sith should’ve eaten his liver for breakfast. Doom got cocky and Conan took his head. Simple as that.
- However, Set was not destroyed and it would be very easy to create another Doom. 🙂
- Much of the pro-Doom is speculation of what he mightcould do. Yes, this could happen, or that could happen. We saw him get his head chopped off by a barbarian. Death becomes him. With Vader, no need to speculate, we saw it. Nobody defeated him. And after all the evil that he did, the billions of people that he killed, he STILL turned into a ghost and kicked it with Alec Guinness and Frank Oz.
We had to enter a tiebreaker, so we said this: Across open ground, Vader lights up his saber. Doom says, “screw that” and snakes up, rushing across. Vader raises a hand to force push, but is too slow, gets knocked down, while hacking with the saber. Doom takes an ugly hit. Vader gets his wits, force chokes Doom into air. Doom whips the tail, knocks Vader back hard. Doom rushes in, Vader evades, Vader realizes the Force is his only hope, tosses the saber to distract, levitates and slams Doom multiple times on ground with telekinesis until dead.
Vader in a very, very tough fight.
Match #3:
Obscure TV show standoff! The digital stylings of Automan versus the mechanical might of M.A.N.T.I.S..
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I am the BIGGEST Automan fan ever, so I’m doing some research. All I remember is MANTIS being crippled.- In this era of advanced computer technology, a holographic AI superhero is more powerful than you could dream. Complete infiltration of Mantis’ computer systems and his sh** is shut down. Cursor will whip up a gun out of thin air. Or even better, cursor will pose as Mantis’ wheelchair and toss him in the ocean… fight is DONE… to quote the brotha from Die Hard, “and the quarterback is toast.”
- I’m changing my vote. Hold on, lemme get my facts together. (DYING at Cursor posing as his wheelchair, though!)
- Besides if you are rolling a holographic Lamborghini that can turn at right angles with out slowing down, fights over son. And I bet you Mantis uses Windows which is an easy hack for Automan …
- Okay, SO: Even though *I* am the biggest Automan fan around (I still say, “Green, please” at red lights) I’m gonna roll with MANTIS. Automan’s energy requirements limit where he can fight. Take him out of the city, limit the available energy in the city, or simply fight him during the day, and he doesn’t have enough juice to draw upon. I’m sure OG Carl Lumbly, being a GENIUS, would have no problem exploiting that.
- No. Automan had limitations, but so did Mantis. Exoskeleton short circuits. And let’s be real here, the dopest crippled superhero is Barbara Gordon. Soon to be the NOT so crippled Barbara Gordon. Automan is a hologram. An indestructible hologram. HOW DO YOU FIGHT A HOLOGRAM? you’re swinging at air…lmao
- If I remember, Automan couldn’t fight during the day because he was powered by the city power grid on the sly. All M.A.N.T.I.S has to do is kill the power supply, and he’s gone.
- But Mantis would also cut off his power base by shutting down the city grid. Including hospitals, jail systems etc. Mantis wouldn’t do that. Problem with two good guys fighting, they both take the high road…hell, AI is like Apocalypse, in the end, he is gonna win.
- MANTIS: Brought to you by Sam Raimi. Automan: bad porn title. MANTIS – ‘Nuff Said!
- Plus, MANTIS was the cool Blue Beetle before Jaime was a twinkle in his papa’s eye!
- Mantis first had the two assistants, then Roger Rees (the sheriff of Rottingham from “Robin Hood: Men in Tights”). Automan had Desi Arnez Jr backing him up. MANTIS: Win!
- I got all the love in the world for M.A.N.T.T.I.S. but I think Automan’s got this one.
Voting still ended up favoring the handi-capable hero by a margin of 3 to 2. Carl Lumbly’s role wins over the digital man.
Match #4:
In our weekly showdown of villains, the madness of Norman Osborn goes up against the genius of Lex Luthor* (who fell to Dr. Doom in a previous match up).
- I love the smell of pumpkin bombs in the morning. Smells like roast Luthor.
- Look at the quality of hero each one has to go up against. Norman is a psycho, yes, but his first enemy was basically a really smart kid. Lex has his issues, but he also had to go toe-to-toe with a veritable godlike being, and he had him on the ropes numerous times. I really believe Lex would have the psychological edge here, mostly because he’s a better manipulator than Norman. When Norman gets freaked, he retreats into his Goblin persona. Lex doesn’t have that issue.
- Norman can be a serious threat. Lex is always fixated on Superman.
- Luthor in a heartbeat. He sees Supes as his “equal” because he can fly, bullets bounce off him, etc. So he tests him, toys with him, like a really good brain-teaser. Osborn, being rich (not as rich) smart (not as smart) Luther would systematically destroy him piece by piece. Financially first, he’d undermine Oscorp (is it still called that). Destroy the company. He’d then go after him personally, so he’d probably kill Harry. Then he’d kill Norman with his bare hands.
- I’ll stick with pumpkin bombs..shoved down Luthor’s pants. 🙂 Lex has never struck me as a bad ass. Just a whiny baby because Superman won’t let him take over the Earth.
- Hold up, Luthor is a better manipulator than Osborn? Osborn was the man behind the curtain of the clone saga. He killed Ben Reilly, he killed Gwen Stacy, he cloned Gwen Stacy and had children with her, he cloned Aunt May!!! Luthor can only dream of being as manipulative. He faked his own death and was banging Gwen Stacy while sipping martinis in France. :-/ Norman Osborn is the comic version of Norman Bates… Osborn wins…
- Norman would do anything to kill Lex. Even if he died in the attempt.
- The only reason I give it to Luthor is because, while Norman is pushing up his profile now, and becoming a more universal villian, in the end, he’ll always be “Spider-Man’s” #1 foe. Where Luthor is seen as Superman’s, but he also has the st…anding of being a threat to his universe as well. In the end, when it comes to reputation, who would you rather go against: someone who could take down Superman, or someone who goes against Spider-Man. It’s more of a psychological thing, I think. Spider-Man is basically one of us, with powers. Superman is not someone you can readily identify with. And that’s the thing. A bully who can pick on you is not much of a threat, but a bully who pretty much works for it? That’s someone to take notice.
- Never under estimate the power of a sociopath. Osborn like Luthor convinced the whole country to give him unfettered power. Brains and conniving, they are equal. Superpowers, Osborn is a being with super strength, not Lex….
- Also, seeing as Lex has a huge ego, he would underestimate Norman at a crucial point and it would be the end of him.
- Osborn became the Director of SHIELD… is that manipulative enough?
- Luthor manipulated BRANIAC. Osborn manipulated a buncha morons who thought Spider-Man was a “menace” because the paper said so.
- Let’s be real, if it weren’t for his desire to kill Superman, Luthor would be a hero. It is his hatred for Superman that drives him. Norman Osborn was a crackpot before Spider-Man came into the picture. Dude is schizophrenic. Dude was working with the Kingpin doing jobs. Luthor only wants to replace Superman as the rising son/sun of Metropolis. Osborn has a thirst for total and complete power.
- Lex never needed a false persona to take out heroes. Even when he was cloned into a younger body, he was still “Lex Luthor, Jr.”
- Dude created the Dark Avengers…brought Venom, wolverine’s son and even the schizophrenic superhero Sentry under his power… c’mon son!!!!!
- Norman will always have the “Goblin” speaking to him in his ear. That was his downfall, and how Loki p’wned him in Siege.
- Luthor doesn’t want to kill Superman. He wants to HUMBLE Superman. He wants him to submit. What mortal, flesh and blood human being would look at a bulletproof, supersonic, flying man with laser eye beams from another planet IN THE EYE and say, “I’m gonna make you tap out, dog”? And mean it.
- Like Darkseid punked Luthor… anytime you have a god in place, a human will get manipulated. Whether it’s a Norse God or a New God…
- Norman had to bring in ringer “Avengers” to play hero. Lex brought in his own men, slapped his logo on their armor, and actually did good. Oh wait, let’s not forget: President Luthor! Norman: basically top cop. I believe he actually made Superman tell him: Yes, sir.
- Norman is a psycho with purpose. 🙂
- That’s another thing: Norman did play top cop for a while. But he knew he was doing dirty underneath. Luthor was actually a funtional president who did pretty great works for the country, and during Our Worlds At War.
It seemed like fans, evenly divided between both camps, could have gone on all day. In the end, one of the phrases from an Osborn supporter came back to haunt him: “an unranked intelligence versus a ranked intelligence is completed out matched.” Lex is considered DC’s biggest (modern era) brain, whereas Norman can’t even crack Marvel’s top eight, edged out even by Amadeus Cho. That’s a hard bit to overcome.
Join us next week on Facebook (and a little on Twitter) for four new battles!