Natalie Vartanian offers guys one single tip on how to turn a first date into something more.
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This may be the shortest blog post in the history of blogs, because there is only one thing you need to do that will cause a huge change in your love life.
Be curious.
Yup, that’s it.
Ask questions.
Lots of them.
You want to know why? Because at the end of the day, the following is what is most important:
People want to be heard. They want to know they matter.
Giving someone your full attention, asking them questions about who they are as a person, why something matters to them and what they are passionate about, is a game changer.
Especially true when it comes to dating a woman.
Women are super intellectual creatures when it comes to relationships – they want their mind stimulated as much as their body.
Not as true for men.
However, you can’t tell me you don’t want the person you are with to give a shit about what you are up to or who you are deep down!
Think about something:
When you think of all the people that you know 100% care about you deeply, what is a common trait amongst them?
Could it be that they really listen to you, ask you good questions, want to know about your dreams, your passions?
Like they truly give a shit?
People can tell the level of effort being put in by another person.
Now take that information and apply it to dating, especially when it comes to the conversation piece.
Being curious affirms to people that you care.
It also implies that you won’t jump to conclusions or sit in your frustration. You are asking questions to consider all possible scenarios.
You keep an open mind, try and figure out other’s intentions and motivations, and have a much more informed discussion because of your inquiries.
I will say one final piece regarding how it can get you more second dates … because I WANT YOU GUYS to have more dates. I really do!
This is coming straight from my experience as a participant in the dating game.
The hands-down number one reason I say yes to going out with on a second date with a guy is because he asked me questions.
That is the main thing I am ‘testing for’ from the person who took me on the date.
Did he want to know about what I do?
Was he interested?
Did he try and get to know me?
Did he ask me questions on a personal level?
If the answer is no to most of those questions, I don’t care how hot you are, I have instantly lost interest and do not plan to see you again.
But if I feel you really ‘see’ me, a direct result of your inquiring mind, I will say to myself:
“I don’t want to write this person off just yet. I want to see what happens on our next date.”
By the way, this is not only me … I have heard this from more female friends than I can count and even some of my guy friends.
A recent story: After getting back from a ‘bad date’, I asked my buddy “What went wrong with it?”.
His response? “She talked about herself the whole time.”
Come from a place of curiosity.
I promise you it will do wonders in your life, especially in love.
It sure as hell will improve your odds of date number two happening!
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Photo: Flickr/Scented_mirror