All movies tell you the same story. Girl meets the boy, they fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Despite the numerous plot of twists and turn to amp up the drama, isn’t this the concept of love that has been shoved down our throats since the dawn of cinema?
Unfortunately, as much as we want our marital lives to be a bed of roses, the reality is never as exciting. Now, before this pessimistic view of marriage causes you to deflate, consider that it isn’t the constant stream of exhilarating moments with your partner that makes a marriage worth it. It is the occasional laugh you share on a weeknight after work when watching that funny movie on Netflix or that immense joy you feel on a bright new day spent playing in the yard with the children.
Rarely do we see such ordinary depictions of marital bliss in the media. Of course, life is hectic but if you aren’t snatching brief moments away from your busy day and trying to connect with your partner, any marriage would become lackluster and in worse cases, feel like a chore.
Lucky for you, you can reignite the spark in your relationship if you start putting some work into it. Here are nine different ways you can achieve this starting today!
1. Ask Them out
With children to look after and house chores to attend to, date night might be the furthest thing from your mind. However, the happiest couples are those who often go out on dates. Keep in mind that dates don’t have to be fancy dinners at expensive hotels. It can be something as simple as an at-home movie night or a romantic walk in the park.
Get a friend, family member, or a babysitter to look after the kids so you can get some time alone as a couple. Remember, it isn’t the place or activity that matters, it is the quality time spent together that strengthens your bond.
2. Say the Three Magic Words
Every day, before you walk out the door to go to work, you mumble a quick “I love you” and leave your spouse with a peck on the cheek. In fact, you have been doing this so often that it has become a ritual. You both know you love each other but at one point in time, the gesture feels repetitive and stops evoking the same tender feelings they might once have.
Instead, take them aside and look into their eyes. Take a moment to identify why you decided to fall for her in the first place. Think about all the times you have felt your heart swell with emotions because you witnessed something about your partner that you have come to admire deeply. Now say the three words and tell her why you feel this way.
Letting your spouse know that you love her for specific personal traits adds that magic to your “I love you” by lending it the meaning it lacks when said in passing.
3. Make Love
There will be times when you don’t feel attractive or in the mood. However, that doesn’t mean you should give up on sex completely. Make space in your timetable so you can have time to focus on your appearance. Not only will this boost your confidence but is also likely to make you want to get it on with your other half.
If you and your partner are facing persistent problems in this department, you may want to look into the natural aphrodisiacs namely Tongkat Ali extract. This Southeast Asian root has been used for generations to treat sexual dysfunction among locals.
Furthermore, whilst sex is an important factor in keeping a relationship going strong, things shouldn’t just stop there. There are tons of other ways to increase intimacy through physical contact that doesn’t involve sex. Cuddling gives you that oxytocin boost which can make you both feel deeply in love again.
4. Admit to Mistakes
For many, apologizing may mean losing face or accepting defeat. This can feel even harder when you think that your partner might be in the wrong. However, in some situations, apologizing may be the only way to maintain the integrity of the relationship and ensure that your spouse feels like their emotional matters too. Know how to read the situation and apologize more especially when you are wrong or when your partner feels hurt. It can make a world of difference.
5. Forgive and Forget
People are full of flaws and it is impossible to go through life without being disappointed especially by the actions of a loved one. If the loved one is your spouse, this can eventually turn into deep-seated resentment despite the apologies.
Even after all this, remember that resentment is punishing no one but you. Of course, it hurts to be wronged but the purpose of forgiveness isn’t to help the other feel better. It is for you to let go of the bitterness, and accept the fact that what’s gone is gone. Doing so will release you from the negativity and help you see the brighter side in life. So, forgive and forget because you deserve to be happy.
6. Don’t Make Everything a Competition
It is so easy to file away arguments and conversations in your head to be used later on as a weapon during your next argument. We are all guilty of this at some point in our lives. However, marriage isn’t a competition. It’s about working together. Trying to get one over your spouse every time you fight could badly damage your relationship with time.
Forget the previous arguments and instead communicate with your partner the next time you feel angry about something. You are much more likely to walk out of the argument with a better solution and a stronger bond with each other.
7. Make Them Feel Special
Who doesn’t like presents? Gifts, no matter how small can perk up anyone’s day. Your present doesn’t have to be a $200,000 Lamborghini or first-class plane tickets to Paris. It can be your partner’s favorite comfort food, maybe a tub of mint ice cream or cookies from her favorite bakery, or the latest book by her favorite author. Remember that presents do not need to be extravagant to be meaningful. It’s the thought that counts.
8. Be on the Same Page Financially
Financial matters could be the biggest source of stress in a marriage. Ignored, it could wreak havoc on your relationship and cause a bitter split. If both of you have vastly different ideas on handling finances, talk it out. Discuss how much you individually spend, how much you want to save, and your future financial goals. Moreover, take help from personal finance courses and experts. Most importantly, believe in your ability to overcome the differences. Together you can do this.
9. Tell Your Partner How Much She Means to You
With time, we eventually get comfortable in our relationships. We become part of a monotonous routine that we expect to be permanent with minor changes over time for our convenience. We assume that things like changing diapers, cooking meals, and taking out the trash will always be taken care of by our partner. However, have you ever stopped to thank them for their hard work and let them know that without their help, how difficult things would be for you?
If you haven’t, do this as frequently as possible and offer to help as much as you can. Let them know how grateful you are because they chose to build a life with you. After all, an appreciated spouse is a happy spouse.
Marriage is like a lush, beautiful garden. Ignore it and it will slowly wither and cause you great emotional pain as it dies. Care for it and tend to its needs, and you get to enjoy the delicious fruits of your hard work. Remember, nothing worth having is easy.
This content is brought to you by Shawn Richard.