The issues created when ex-spouses bad-mouth one another on social networking sites.
Paul and Lilly had gone through a very painful divorce. During their separation, like many, they both had unfriended each other. They also had adult children on both of their Facebook friend lists. Unfortunately, neither had blocked the ex or set the privacy to ‘friends only’. Friends of friends could read posts.
Lilly found out that Paul had been reading her posts and going to her page through the children’s account. One evening Lilly decided she was going to teach Paul a lesson.
Lilly posted a detailed description of her sexual activities with her new beau. Then she went on to compare him to Paul including, but not limited to, their physical abilities. Paul was furious, and without thinking he posted several of the secrets Lilly had shared with him over the years. Her deepest fears and many closely guarded, painful memories including how she felt when her parents divorced. He also posted photos of her that Lilly had thought were destroyed long ago.
All of these posts and photos where public knowledge; parents and children had access. Lilly and Paul had blocked their children from seeing the comments, but many of their friends saw them, and the children quickly learned embarrassing details.
Before you post anything, ask yourself some questions. Do you really want to be known as the person that goes around trashing your ex and stay stuck in the mud? How would you feel knowing your parents or children have to explain your posts to their friends?
Divorce is hard; everyone has many feelings and emotions that are painful. There will be times you feel like telling the world, but in years to come you may not feel the same. Many times, people slip and make comments.
If you have injured your ex-partner in any way through your postings or photos, delete them. This is not just a legal issue but a moral one. You cannot un-ring a bell—in years past, newspapers did write retractions, but we can no longer do that as effectively on social media. You can publicly say I’m sorry, I should not have posted the comment or photo the other day and have a song attached like ”I hope you dance” and wish your ex well.
We all make mistakes; at least this action will portray you as a person that is mature enough to admit them. If your ex wants to stay in the mud, let them. Now is your time to shine and be above the mess.
This article originally appeared on Divorced and Scared No More.
Image Credit: Life Mental Health/Flickr