Intimacy= into me I see. If you look inside and there’s shame about sex, guilt about having pleasure, fear of being used… these thoughts lead to insecurity, yet also divorce, disease, depression…
and tragically, they disconnects us from the most important intimate relationship we could ever have… with our self…cellulite and all… totally at peace in our skin, which is damn sexy.
Tell me about your life growing up
I’m a small town Canadian girl who hopped on Uncle Phil’s 18 wheeler semi at 19 to make it in Hollywood, and failed, yet I did get a modeling job in Japan. It was there I chose to topless dance. For the first time in my life, I saw it was a choice to see my body as a piece of meat or a work of art. I chose work of art, yet upon returning to the states to complete my degree at Columbia where I graduated cum laude, when people asked What KIND of dancer, I shrank in shame.
What sad is that when I lost my respect for my body and sexual nature, I also lost my self confidence. I married two times, both for security, then joined the 50% divorce rate club. Yet now I’m a single mom & entrepreneur who pole dances. In the back of my truck there are stripper shoes and a baseball bag!
I’m stronger than ever BECAUSE I’ve taken responsibility for where I dishonored myself and my ex husbands… Now I have stupid amounts of fun as a mother, I ooze sensuality and I choose inspire reverence for our exquisite bodies and sexual nature.
What’s your best advice?
If you want soaring self esteem, sizzling sex appeal, ravishing relationships, a magnificent marriage, and the joy of being orgasmically alive, make your #1 priority your Intimate relationship with yourself, your body, your sexual nature… choose it- I dare ya!
Why do you think 50 Shades did so well?
“I don’t need to be a PHD to tell you why 50 Shades of Grey sold more than Harry Potter… saying it’s just mommy porn misses the mark. Women love sex too. We only have a headache when sex is void deep intimate connection where we can unleash our sacred erotic creature.
You talk about sexual energy…
Studying the work of Nassim Haramein of the Resonance Project who has solved Einstein’s field equations, we know the fundamental energy of the universe is the energy of creation, sexual energy. Life, birth, is created from this energy. There is nothing more powerful yet it is least understood or honored. This sexual life force energy is orgasmic, vibrant, creative… yet also caring, kind and healing… it includes but it not limited to copulation… you can embody it right now…and when you do, you’ll turn heads when you enter a room, your children behave, you finally feel enough.
You’re an advocate for ending sexual violence.
Maya Angelou wrote, “Does my sexiness upset you?…I’ve got diamonds at the meeting of my thighs.” The Dali Lama said that the women of the western world will save the planet. Eve Enzler said 1 billion women violated is an atrocity: One billion women dancing is a revolution. If we demand to value our sacred bodies and sexual nature, then eventually the world will too… and we can destroy the statistic that 1 in 3 women will be raped or violated on this planet in her lifetime.
What does being sexy and our health have to do with each other?
The #1 killer of women in America is heart attacks from stress, overwork, overwhelm, lack of self care. Be it a divorce or breakups, body dismorphia or a mastectomy, rape or STDs, religious guilt or sexual shame… or simply putting everyone else’s needs in front of of own… it’s time to end the war against ourselves, our bodies, our sexual nature and to embrace the healing capacity of pleasure.
Tell me about the work you do with men.
I love coaching men. Hell I love men! I support them to cure the nice guy, heal their emasculated heart….. because a man’s sexual shame can destroy his capacity to succeed. In Napolean Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, he said,
So I awaken that noble badass Self, that James Bond, Martial Arts guy… who’s impeccably present, genuine, sexy, the banks of our river… into which we flow with wild abandon… (kind of turns me on!)
How do you Crack the Online Dating Code?
I love cracking the online dating code… 93% of communication is non verbal, so your photo is so important. So guys, Don’t Hide in your photo! Look straight on, like you’re across the table from me, or looking me in the eyes making love… I hate it when you put photos off to the side- hello…. For woman, men tell me they love a woman who shows herself having fun – happy wife happy life.
What’s the best way to Keep the ‘Romance’ ALIVE in your existing relationship?
The best way to keep romance alive is to Take Control: We can’t control life and we certainly can’t control our partner, yet we can take turns being in control of a date night. This works for a man on a budget or the big spender. One of my clients organized a trip to the mountains for his wife, he organized the car service, flight, the home where they stayed, took her shopping for her favorite foods and wine, asked what her favorite bath was like and brought all the trimmings… she told me…totally orgasmic.
What’s your advice for single parents who are dating?
When Dating, many Single Parents actually ask me WHEN to tell your date you have kids. That just stuns me. Right upfront. My personal online profile name was ‘deliciousmom.’ I am proud to be a package deal. Right away anyone who’s uncertain about kids, can step aside.
How do you best Prep for the dating scene?
It may sound trite, but the best way to prep for the dating world is to BE YOU & Tell the Truth: What if it’s your wet dream to be on a clear lake at 4am catching a trout, yet she hates fishing. Are you going to pretend you hate fishing too? Or allow yourself to be you, allow her to be her, and if it’s a match that will make both your lives better, great! And if not, thank you, but no thank you, bless you, b-bye.
A version of this post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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