Kenny Bodanis feels that there is a basic etiquette to dog ownership, and it is really not that complicated.
Originally seen at KennyBodanis.com
I love animals; I grew up with them.
Our pooch, Smokey the Wonderdog, was acquired two years before I was born; he passed away in our basement more than sixteen years later.
During that period, and in the years since, I’ve been a human father to: hamsters, guinea pigs, fish, cats, lizards, and even rescued a Vietnamese Pot Bellied Pig from a farmhouse before relocating her to a sanctuary eighteen months later.
I dogsit for my sister regularly.
I love animals. I eat them; but when I’m not eating them, I love ’em.
My sister, Me, and Smokey the Wonderdog
That being said, when you remove a creature from its natural habitat and make it a member of your family, there should be certain constraints put on it. It this case, it’s called a leash.
If you own a dog, and the two of you are neither in your house nor frolicking in a dog run, whoever of you has more than two legs should be restrained. Period.
It doesn’t matter if (you’re under the impression) your dog never bites; this guy’s dog doesn’t bite, either:
But stuff happens.
There are fellow earthlings on this planet who are fearful of dogs; who don’t want a wet muzzle in their crotch; who don’t want their children knocked over in the park by your bitch. Whether you are offended by their sensibilities or not, they are in the right. Period. ‘Ruff!’ End of sentence.
You purchased a wild animal; you are responsible for this wild animal as I would be if I owned a rodeo bull. Period. ‘Snort!’ End of sentence.
If I want to pat your pooch (and I generally do), I will approach slowly, with my hand out, and ask if your dog is friendly and likes to be patted.
If you are proud of your four-legged friend, and would like to show him off, feel free to approach me and ask: “Would you like to pet my dog?”, then live with the answer.
As for using my lawn as a toilet: we all own ceramic, indoor toilets; we urinate and defecate in them – not around them or elsewhere in the neighborhood – for sanitary reasons.
My lawn is not disguised as a lawn. It is a lawn, not a toilet. I don’t pee on it; my kids don’t pee on it. When your dog pees on it and then my children play on it, I’m kinda grossed out.
When your dog moves his bowels on my grass, or the sidewalks of the city, please understand: s*** sticks. Unless a pressure washer accompanies you on your walk, there will be residue of this s*** everywhere. When I picnic in that residue…I’m kinda grossed out.
I know the retort to my arguments is often: dogs are like children to their owners. Some parents having really annoying kids; owners have ‘exuberant’ dog.
Granted.
In that case, let’s make a deal:
1) If my children ever sniff your crotch, let me know; I will explain to them (again!) the concept of “inappropriate”.
2) If my child ever bites your face, let me know; after insisting that is very unlike a child of mine, I will tell him ‘No!’.
3) If my child ever defecates on your property, or the sidewalks of your neighborhood, let me know; after insisting he was toilet trained years ago, I will wonder where I went wrong.
4) If my child is ever wondering around without his owner (me) – with or without a leash – call Child Protective Services; they’ll let me know.
As pit-bull owners are fond of pointing out: there are no bad dogs, only bad owners.
I agree.
That’s why I love animals; it’s their owners that drive me crazy.
Photo—Urban Outbacker/Flickr
I have finally fenced in my entire back yard. Used to only be partially fenced but the end of that came when the neighbor’s new boyfriend got a puppy he couldn’t control and that made my yard it’s bathroom. One spring morning I was cleaning up piles of my giant dog’s poop in the fresh and frozen air when he came out and said he would help get his dog’s poop. He never did. Now I have another neighbor who can’t grasp the concept of either training or a leash either and I perpetually have that dog in my yard… Read more »
Yo, I agree about there being a difference between edges of the lawn and letting your dog run free and poop (which still happens). Good point about the picnicking on sidewalks – I don’t. BUT dog poop on the sidewalk, I find really gross. I understand accidents happen. But in urban areas (where I used to live, and still work daily), it is a regular occurrence. Many times, dog owners don’t even bother picking up; and when they do, it ALWAYS leaves residue on the sidewalk. Ever walk into work with S*** on your shoe? Not the best way to… Read more »
That’s why I walk with my head down. People think I’m being aloof or melancholic or perhaps just unwilling to interact with others. Nope, I’m just watching out for the land mines littered about the Upper West Side as I’m heading in to work.
Hey Nick,
Around here the first four feet from the sidewalk into the yard is public property, so that’s the city’s problem.
As far as the cats, squirrels, etc. My neigbours did not purchase them for their own enjoyment and therefore has no responsibility towards them.
Sometimes my kids REALLLY have to go, too. If you don`t mind them popping in front of your building, I’ll definitely allow some leeway for your pooch.
I don’t mind, as long as you carry out what you carried in and might have been tempted to leave behind. But wait, are you saying people let their dogs come up into the middle of your lawn for their excretory activities? I think there’s a difference between pooping along the edge of the sidewalk and letting a dog roam freely around your neighbor’s yard (you still need to clean it up, however). But you wrote When your dog moves his bowels on my grass, or the sidewalks of the city, please understand: s*** sticks. Unless a pressure washer accompanies… Read more »
Around here we have the outdoors and the indoors – you appear to have confused the two. If only you could control the cat/squirrel/bird/mouse/raccoon/skunk/rabbit/bear piss and poop that graces your lawn. Despite my having trained her to go in the tall grasses amidst the poison ivy where people aren’t likely to frolic, sometimes my dog’s urgency is going to result in her relieving her bowels on the edge of your lawn. I’m going to whip out my roll of baggies and pick up as much as I can without leaving a the spot devoid of all foliage. For those times… Read more »
I always keep my dog on a leash, and I try really hard to keep out of the main part of people’s yards, but there’s very little grass in my neighborhood EXCEPT the yards…what’s a girl to do???
Hey Megan,
The real answer is: I don’t know what a girl is to do. But I do know it is not the responsibility of property owners to grant urinary access to dog owners due to a lack of canine-friendly green space. I’m not trying to be snide when I say: part of purchasing a pet is researching where the animal will be able to loose his bowels. This reminds me, I have to install a new toilet in the basement before my kids crap on the carpet.