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Throughout history, every generation has dealt with mass trauma — world wars, the fear of nuclear annihilation during the Cold War, the threat of terrorism after 9/11, and more. This is particularly true of today’s youth, who have had to deal with school shootings and a pandemic alongside many of the problems previous generations had to face. Trauma may result from events experienced as an adult, or they might be symptoms held over from something suffered in childhood.
Trauma can be difficult to deal with, understand, and treat — so what can parents do to help teenagers cope when they meet with trauma?
What is Trauma?
In short, trauma is an emotional response to a distressing, painful, or traumatic incident or series of incidents. While not everyone who experiences a distressing event will suffer trauma as a result, many do. The event might be emotional or physical, such as abuse, an accident, sexual assault, natural disasters, or violence (such as a school shooting).
There can be a wide variety of responses to trauma. The most common response immediately after a traumatic event includes denial and shock. Longer-term reactions may include flashbacks, mood swings, withdrawal, depression, and even physical symptoms. Physical signs of trauma can include body aches or pains, jumpiness or being easily startled, nightmares, fatigue, changes in appetite, excessive alertness, and more.
While these symptoms are a normal and justified response — and often unavoidable — they can still pose a danger to the individual suffering them.
Helping Kids with Trauma
So, what can parents do when they see their children showing signs of trauma? Here are a few ways you can help get your child on the road to healing.
Reinforce that they are safe.
After a traumatic event or experience, the first thing you should do is make your child feel safe. No matter if they’re toddlers or teenagers, taking time to reassure them that they’re okay is an important first step. Physical touch will go a long way, whether it’s a hug or merely a pat on the back. Reinforce their safety as often as you can.
Talk about what happened.
The effects of trauma can magnify if they’re left unacknowledged. Bottling up the emotions created by trauma can have major consequences down the road. When a child experiences trauma, talking about what happened may be difficult for them, and they may hide their symptoms, be reluctant or resistant to talking about it, or both. While it’s important to allow them space, you should also do your best to let them know you will be there whenever they’re ready and willing to open up about what happened.
Observe their behavior.
While your child might insist that they’re fine after a traumatic event, you should pay attention to their behavior afterward. Possible symptoms of trauma include:
- Withdrawal
- Aggression
- Disturbed sleep
- Losing interest in activities they once enjoyed
- Skipping school
- Drug and alcohol use
- Disruptive and disrespectful behavior
Symptoms can even include thoughts of suicide. It’s important to keep an eye out for these signs so you can act on them as soon as they manifest.
Get help.
It’s important to remember that trauma is unlikely to simply go away by itself. The younger a person is when they experience a traumatic event, the longer it will affect their life. Children and teens, in particular, don’t have the tools to work through trauma by themselves, and parents should avoid sweeping the problem under the rug or turning a blind eye to it in the hopes of “getting back to normal.”
One of the more productive steps you can take is to get professional help from a trauma counselor. Talk to your school and see if they have a counselor on staff. If they do, find out what techniques the counselor uses to help students cope after a traumatic experience. Many are professionally educated in helping students through a traumatic event like a school shooting, the death of a friend, or other distressing event.
If the situation gets serious, especially when it comes to suicidal ideation or behavior, get in touch with the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255.
Encourage them to take up a new hobby.
While it’s important not to try to ignore issues of trauma in an attempt to return to a normal routine, one of the long-term ways a child can heal from trauma is to take up a new hobby or sport. Exploring a new pastime or skill can have several benefits: it takes their mind off the event and occupies their time, it gets them out and socializing with others, it gives them a goal and something to strive for. This can help bring things “back to normal” in a positive way, as long as it’s combined with acknowledgment and support when it comes to the traumatic event.
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