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Having a child with Autism creates a dynamic and ever-changing home-situation. The stressors from an autism diagnosis can be far-reaching as they require 24/7 care of a child, sometimes for the entirety of their life. It’s only realistic, then, that marriage struggles can and do form.
The unfortunate fact is that parenting a child with autism does have an effect on the status and stability of a marriage. As such, some couples do find themselves solo parenting a child with autism. And while so many resources are quick to identify single moms, we want to have the conversation no one is having- what tips do we have for single dads?
Here are 5 of the best tips every single dad raising a child with autism should know.
- Reach out & connect- do you want to know why this is so seemingly overstated? Because it’s It works wonders on your mental health, even if you don’t think you want to be there in the first place. Humans are social beings and even if we don’t always feel it, we are biologically programmed to seek connection and support. Find a support group virtually or in person and experience the comfort of a community who “get it”. There are many to be found on Facebook or via local resources in your area.
- Re-prioritize & rebudget- facing this new situation as a solo parent can be daunting, but you know your strengths and you can use them to build a new normal. Many single parents of children with autism strongly suggest making a new priority list to figure out what is a need versus a want for you and your child. For instance, your top priorities might be speech therapy, occupational therapy, social skills groups, or a communication device if your child is nonverbal. Next, in your wants group, you’ll put things like assistive technologies, such as those with speech output capabilities, specialty books, or extracurricular activities such as sports or clubs your child may be interested in. Once you have your priorities in order, you’ll want to redo your budget to what it now looks like with single-parent income and resources. It may be overwhelming, going from two incomes down to one, especially with a child with special needs, however, there are many financial resources available to parents that you should check into! Federal programs such as social security may be available to you, or certain therapies may offer sliding scale payments for lower-income clients
- Focus on what’s realistic- remind yourself frequently that you’re doing the best you can and you’re only human. You cannot be both at work and at a morning therapy appointment for your child, so you need to pull back and focus on what’s realistic. Maybe the therapy schedule needs to change to afternoon or evenings. Don’t try to juggle everything, set yourself a realistic schedule and stick to it.
- Do something for yourself- It sounds nearly impossible to just about everyone and at best, it seems cliche. How are you supposed to work full time or at least enough to bring in money to cover your expenses and care for your child 24/7? At the bare minimum, start with doing something just for you when your child goes to bed, or wake up earlier than you know they typically do and enjoy a coffee in silence. Those extra few minutes of just you-time are more important than you may understand for your mental health. Ideally, you could get a few hours to yourself each week to do something like a round of golf or stopping in for lunch at a local pub. Parents who are frequently stressed and emotionally distant may feel guilt or anger with their current situation, so it is important to make time for number one- YOU.
- Find an ASD caregiver, sitter, or respite- Thankfully, with the emerging resources for children with autism has come the offering of childcare for parents.com has a section of parents of children with special needs looking for care or even some insurances now cover respite care. In the effort to make time for yourself and appreciate what you bring to the table as a solo parent, starting with this step of finding childcare is critical to making that time happen.
You are physically and emotionally capable of taking on this new role as a single dad of a child with autism spectrum disorder. Accepting the changes, including the concept that life won’t always be easy, will be crucial to keeping yourself mentally stable and secure.
Socialization and taking time for yourself are imperative, and though you may feel as though your child’s needs come first, we promise their overall well-being will improve when their parent is healthy, both in mind and body.
Take care of yourself and take things one step at a time, you’re a great dad!
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