The playoff beard
Any true hockey fan will tell you about the playoff beard. It’s what real hockey players do this time of year. It’s old school and it should be mandatory for all players to do. What is a playoff beard? It’s pretty simple. As a player, you simply don’t shave your beard until your team either wins the Stanley Cup or is eliminated. As a fan, you do the same thing. Seems easy, right? It pretty much is.
I’m taking the playoff beard a step further. I grew up in Southern California watching the Kings from their purple and gold days and I had a season media credential to cover the Ducks for eight seasons. I currently reside in Buffalo, so I’m doing the playoff beard for all three teams.
I will grow my beard until the Sabres, Kings and Ducks are all out of the playoffs or until one of these teams wins the Stanley Cup.
Yes. I will provide occasional photographic proof of my endeavor.
Ultimate Sabres Fan
A local radio station was holding a contest to find Buffalo’s ultimate Sabres fan. As you can imagine, they received a lot of entries, but the guy who won is something pretty special.
First off, this guy named his daughter Sabre. Not his dog. His daughter. This same dad also had his middle school son get online (on his phone) in study hall on Monday to see if he could find Sabres playoff tickets.
I’d love to see the GPA of this kid. I’m pretty sure this kid’s future will include a job with a name tag. That’s not totally fair. He may have a patch with his name on his shirt. I mean no offense to anyone who wears a name tag. Seriously.
I’d like to find out if this guy is married. Where the hell is the mother in all this? How the hell did she allow the name Sabre to go on the birth certificate? Someone from the hospital should have stepped in and slapped them both upside the head and said, “Pick a new name or we’re calling Child Protection Services to have her taken from you.”
Last week, as you may recall, I wrote a blog post called, “South Dakota is really a state”. In that post I recounted the tale of a co-worker who asked if South Dakota was a real state. When I explained it was, she told me she thought it was part of North Dakota.
On Tuesday this same young woman (a product of the Buffalo Public School system) asked me where Alaska is. Seriously. She did. To answer your next question…Yes. She is that stupid.
My first reaction was to tell her it’s near Russia, but that would have opened up a whole different can of worms. Then I would have to explain not only where Russia is located, but also that it’s a country. I didn’t have the mental energy for that, so I simply told her, “It’s to the left of Canada.”
P.S. I just found out the owner of my company is a convicted felon and that my company is being investigated by the NY Attorney General. Go ahead and assume there’s a blog post coming about that shit…