Many women pursue their lives with a vengeance, following their dreams and not afraid to share them. Potential partners don’t always get that. They think, “Oh, this is just a phase.” Or “She’ll get over it.” Or “She’s just being emotional.” Or “Once she knows me, she’ll be happy to give up her life and live mine.” Wrong.
I admit I’m a Swifty and excited she’s Time’s Person of the Year, Forbes Most Powerful Woman in the music industry, and top earner with the Era’s Tour. In a CBS Morning interview, she said she sees herself as imaginative, smart, and hard-working.
She is not the only female music artist making a huge statement. Others that I currently follow who support the empowerment of women, creatives, and the LGBTQ+ community are Pink, who handed out banned books in Florida at her concert, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, and Miley Cyrus.
And by example, Taylor Swift’s actions say, “Don’t underestimate me.” She doesn’t bow to or acknowledge male or industry domination. She recognizes her power as a person, and she figures out how to be true to her vision. She’s a woman who supports women, creatives, LGBTQ+, and democracy, while she fights the inherent misogynistic establishment. She took a sexual predator to court and won. She took back her songs from the men who stole them from her. She bypassed the hierarchy that controls movie releases and changed the whole industry by going directly to the theaters.
Think about all the women you’ve met who have dreams of their own, regardless of the industry. They have goals, purpose, focus, ambition, and vision. They don’t want to be around or held back, personally or professionally, by people whose chief ambition is to control them and mold them into supporting characters.
Eight Reasons why a relationship with an assertive woman might fail:
- Breakup Reason #1: When she prioritizes her dream over her relationship, if you’re not with and for her, you’re holding her back.
- Breakup Reason #2: When she puts her time into her business, if you’re going to make her choose her life or yours, you’re toast.
- Breakup Reason #3: When she shares her life choices, if you feel you can’t be open to that and set boundaries she can’t cross, don’t let the door hit you in the butt.
- Breakup Reason #4: When she shows you what clothes she’s wearing, if you can’t resist the urge to say, “You can’t wear that in public,” you’ll be wearing your tux alone on the curb.
- Breakup Reason #5: When she knows and accepts the attention she receives because of her work, if you can’t stand being in the limelight as her date, you’re not the one for her.
- Breakup Reason #6: When she’s a woman who doesn’t buy into the culture of male domination, if you’re a “my way or the highway” kind of partner or see yourself as the smartest one in the room, pack light because you’re not staying long.
- Breakup Reason #7: When she supports women, in both her personal and business life, if you can’t entertain yourself when she says, and means, “I’m going out with the girls,” you need to seriously think about your life choices.
- Breakup Reason #8: When she understands her actions influence her ginormous following and she speaks her mind on inclusiveness, democracy, voting registration, and using personal power for change, if you’re wedded to the patriarchal mantra of women being quiet and doing what they’re told when they’re told, you’re not even going to make it past the first date.
Most importantly, these scenarios are not about women. They’re about people: who have dreams; who refuse to bow to social pressures; and who will not be forced to conform to outdated molds or roles. It’s about mutual respect and understanding, tolerance and patience. It’s about opening our hearts and minds so each one in a relationship feels supported in achieving their dreams, even if they color outside the lines.
This is about us, you and me, and how we see ourselves as partners, parents, friends, co-workers, and citizens. We owe it to ourselves to stand up, be present, live with intent, and be kind.
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Photo by Ahmet Sali, Unsplash
