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You deserve more than someone who shifts to the other side of the bed leaving you dreading the thought of morning, a reminder that intoxicated desire looks different the morning after. You deserve someone who will want to wake up to touch where the sun seeps through the blinds and lands on your cheek. Someone who tells you how beautiful you are while you’re sleeping, when you’re mad, when you cry during your favorite movie even though you’ve seen it a thousand times. You deserve someone who appreciates you for all that you are. Someone who asks to keep lights on so that they can admire you in your purest state.
You deserve someone who doesn’t agree with you all the time but when you argue, it feels as if you’re pushing each other to be your best selves. Someone who wants to sit down and talk with you until dusk turns to dawn about new beginnings, desires, the unknown, the indescribable feeling of ecstasy when you’re immersed in the warm ocean. Someone who knows that the touch of warm skin sometimes says more than a thousand conversations could. You deserve someone just as independent and driven as you are, if not more. Someone who will inspire you. Someone who will trust you enough to give you space to grow. Someone who pushes you to travel down a path of understanding, to be unashamed and to fill yourself with courage.
You deserve what is best for you and that will look different than what anyone else has. Although you’ll have to jump some hurdles to get there, fight tears, and endure nights alone … when you stumble upon what you deserve, from there, the rest won’t matter. Have faith that it will come when the time is right. You deserve it.
Love,
Someone who cares
****
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Sienna Brown is a photographer, writer and overthinker. She’s inspired by exploring new places and random conversations with strangers. Sienna is based in NYC and is a co-founder of WildSpice Mag. See more of her work here and follow her on twitter.
This post originally appeared at WildSpice Magazine
By Sienna Brown
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Photo: catlovers/Flickr
No… you deserve NOTHING. You want something? You get off your BUTT and you EARN IT. Entitlement gets you nothing.
Last summer, I was, finally, completely happy on my own and with my own. And then, when I didn’t wanted or needed a man, I met a guy who wants me with all that’s good and bad, makes me happy, supports me,…
The time is right??? And when is that supposed to be? I’ve been single for 40 years trying everything in the book to find a partner. I am far from fussy but unfortunately from what I have learnt in my time searching is that ladies are not willing to compromise or put any effort whatsoever into a relationship and are still dreaming/looking for the ‘perfect’ man which is borderline delusional.
Which is delusional fify
Same here
I have this. Now. It took several failed marriages, much disillusionment and life lessons, but I found this love. This true companionship. It took work on me. On my expectations. On my romantic ideals. But what eventuates was more real than I ever expected
I don’t think I want someone who keeps the light on while I am asleep to see my pure me or whatever, or share my dreams and aspirations …. I am 40 years old ….. I think I am much more practical now, but definitely someone who asks about what is important for me, asks questions about me, wants to know me intead of only hearing the sound of his voice. I want someone who is consistent. .. someone who accepts my dog and doesn’t oppose my little one to go over his house, someone who makes the effort to… Read more »
Wow! Thank you!
Sometimes it’s a choice between settling and being alone. I want that kind of fairytale love in my life. I try to make myself open to finding it, and although I’m accused of being too picky, I’d rather be alone than to settle.
Sometimes you don’t find this. I didn’t, but I got tired of decades of being alone, so in a way I “settled”. Ironically, it was with someone who doesn’t check any of the top however-many boxes in what I really wanted. I’ve compromised so hard, in some of the most fundamental things about who I am, that sometimes I think that if a younger me were to look at where I am now, he wouldn’t understand it at all. Hell, much of the time I don’t. I constantly look at my situation, and think that the best I can say… Read more »
On some major points, you talked about what’s in my thoughts. The sad part, I guess; we’re just cowards to trade the comfort and the compatibility with the people in our lives now, so afraid to chase that dream which we are not sure of. We just fear to know what’s on the other side of the tunnel, no matter how bright it was.
that is so true but we always settle for so much less.
I’m sorry you had to settle, but I’m glad you’ve found some kind of happiness. I’m starting to agree with you on the sad reality that not everyone will be lucky enough to find their true love or their ideal partner. For those who do, cherish it because not everyone is lucky enough to experience that kind of love in their lives no matter how deserving they are. I’m still young so I’m hopeful, but we shall see what life has in store for me.
Thank you… everyone deserves love… no one should ever settle for less!!
Thank you for this.
Oh the Universe and its timing…thank you, Sienna for this beautiful and succinct piece.
Your message is quite timely in my life as just a few days ago I had to (painfully) cut loose a man I truly love because while he respects and enjoys me, he’s simply just not into me.
I was settling for what I could get from him when I deserve to find someone who’ll give me the best of him and welcome my love.
How complex and heartwrenching these things can be!
Blessings!
thank you
thank you
hey
Sounds nice. Something everyone deserves…male or female. But to expect such love without giving 110% in return…..
Thanks.
Thank you for these beautiful words that embody an intention I have been struggling to articulate for so long. I have tears running down my face and my heart feels like it’s broken wide open. I have just found my morning prayer. With deep gratitude, Harpreet Kaur xx
Jeez; don’t settle. Just find something interesting to do with your time on your own (and/or with great friends) until you meet someone you love and respect who feels the same way about you. It’s not worth it otherwise. There’s nothing quite like watching two friends disrespect one another by constantly peering over each others’ shoulders at someone else they wish they’d had the courage to talk to instead.
Agreed
The “whom” in the first paragrah should be “whom”. Don’t use “whom” unless you’re sure it’s correct.
I waited for this kind of love in my 30’s and regret it. If you wait for a great partner you’ll wait forever. My advice is take a so-so partner and avoid end up alone in your 40’s which is what I did.
I see this message was from 2 years ago, it would be interesting to know if you have found true love yet?
Beautiful article.
I recently received a picture of myself that was from 30 years ago. In it, I saw this young, hopeful man- before the marriage and later, divorce. Before the struggle to see and be with my child, and before the less than happy relationships I’ve in since. I’ve come to wonder if I’m fit to, or just too tired and cynical to believe that I a happy, loving relationship with a woman is possible.
But, there must be a tiny spark of hope left. After reading this article, the relationship posited sounds so…nice..
Y’all be well.
CM
CM, it is possible. There are plenty of women out there wanting what you want – many of us are wondering where the men are who want what we want! The trick is getting us together.
This love exist only from within myself; no other person will be willing or capable of loving me that way. But just reminding myself that I deserve good things (even if it is just me giving them to myself) stop me from settling for disrespect and mistreatment from the men I have encountered.
Thank you for this <3
It is atttainable…it takes a lot of effort and communication skills …but it exist.. <3
This kind of stuff does exist but it’s WORK. It does exist but not all the time. You have to make this stuff a reality. Love is easy at first but building a life with someone takes a lot of effort. Eight years into my marriage I’m discovering all of this.
Well said, Ryan. It is work. It take self-discipline. Living with someone takes the ability to see their innocence. My beloved husband is not a romantic. He does not buy me flowers, He does listen and loves our grandsons! At 58, I have worked hard at relationships, I stay away from all movie and tv fantasies about love. I don’t need the romance, but some women do. I need the strong, loving center pool, my husband is to me and our family. It is work, but when you see the innocence of your partner, it is magic!
Timely. Beautiful. Have posted for all my friends to see and remember.
“Although you’ll have to jump some hurdles to get there, fight tears, and endure nights alone … when you stumble upon what you deserve, from there, the rest won’t matter.”
That’s the key part. It’s about being prepared. I’m learning that sometimes, we have to endure the bad and the ugly, just to appreciate the good. This was a good article.