I hear the bar door slam shut, and right before my eyes I see a stunning woman with a curvaceous body and modelesque face walks in. Even though I feel like a little kid walking into a toy store and seeing that specific toy that I have been eyeing for the past six months finally within reach my first thought is, “Wow, I’m not sure this girl is going to want to speak to me.”
For any guy who has ever felt scared or insecure to approach someone you find attractive, you are not alone. I have found a system that works amazing and if it works for me then it can and will work for you.
#1 — Count to three.
I count to three before I do anything that activates my sympathetic nervous system and makes the adrenaline kick in. I say “one…two…three,” and by the time I yell three in my head, I begin with the task at hand. In regards to the beautiful girl from the bar, I counted to three, removed my buttocks from my chair, and began walking towards her. This all needs to happen when you are yelling three in your mind in order for you not to second guess yourself.
#2 — Once you commit, there is no turning back.
This girl sees me walking towards her, and at this point, there is no going back. It is either now or she will know that I am afraid, insecure, or at least nervous. You must make it instinctive to the point that walking towards the guy or girl becomes involuntary. One, two, three and boom! You are on your way towards knowing what it feels like to have control over your possible dating situations.
#3 — Do not be like everyone else. Be unique.
Many people will strike out before they have even spoken to someone they find attractive. That’s one reason that if you can own this system of counting to three and automatically performing the task at hand then you will have outperformed at least 80% of the people out there. Countless of my friends will find some guy or girl attractive, but they go over every scenario in their head as to what might happen, and by the time they get the courage to go and talk to the other person, someone else already beat them to it. At this moment, they watch from the stands as a spectator.
#4 — Practice, practice, and practice.
This technique of the three second rule has done wonders for me. I consider myself a confident man, but on occasion I will still get stuck in the beginning when wanting to approach a woman. The human brain is an extremely powerful tool, but if you begin to think too much, then it can deter you from action.
#5 — Counting to three seconds helps out in any area of life.
The thing I love about this technique is that it has not only helped me approach women, but it also comes in handy with everything I do. For example, sometimes I am in class and I am nervous when the teacher asks a question because they may pick me. Instead of this, I close my eyes, count to three, and raise my hand involuntarily when I hit three. This way the teacher sees my hand, they will most likely pick me to answer the question. At this point, there is no turning back because all eyes are on me. At first it can be challenging, but over time, this technique becomes instinctive for doing whatever needs to be done.
I have noticed many people do not even begin to formulate their ideas because they are too scared. They are scared of failure, of being embarrassed, and of not being good enough. However, when one looks at all the times one has not succeeded as feedback instead of failure, then it becomes much easier to deal with the task.
Overall, this is step one in the whole process of speaking to people you might possibly want to develop a relationship with, and it is the most important because without a beginning you cannot have an end. Whether I am at networking event and I see the CEO of a fortune 500 company where I’d like to work, or I am at the park and see a beautiful woman walk past me, I do not overthink the scenario. I just count to three and go and talk to them because I never know how the relationship may blossom.
We all want to be great and have the courage to talk to anyone. Start by counting to three and you will be well on your way to helping yourself take more risks that will eventually lead to more adventure in life.
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