This is my message to you, man who stole my peace.
Sure there was that girl you loved, you spent all of your time with, and you wanted to propose to without her knowing and even without her loving you. But that was it. She loved you, but that love faded. She is not the same as she was when you met her, and you are not the same either. She wants something you cannot give her.
She wants someone else. You can’t be that someone else. Bear that in mind. How about moving on? Look for a different type of woman. Men usually make the mistake of trying to find similar women to their exes because they believe they can only be happy if the new woman has that special something they really want. That’s not productive. Try not to look for someone who makes the same mistakes as your ex. The breakup will be the same and for similar reasons. You won’t be getting any closer to your goal of being treasured for who you really are.
Seems like nobody’s good enough anymore. Nobody looks like her. Nobody talks like her. Nobody feels like her. But guess what? That’s not true. It’s you who can’t accept someone else into your life. It’s you who doesn’t want to start again. Sure, it can be tiring to tell the story of your life again and again or to walk the same roads with someone else as you re-live past memories, but we all have to start anew at some point in our lives. That’s the key to success. Stop trying to find the girl who looks just like her. Actively look for the one who can make you forget her.
How can you still love someone when you see that they don’t love you back? How can you still hold onto her when you saw how she left you? Just think about yourself for once. Wish for your happiness next to the right person. Be egotistical every once in a while. Be egotistical in wanting to center yourself around a new person, in wanting to make someone new happier than she ever was, in wanting to make the new girl the only one. And no, that right person is not your ex.
Stop trying to fix old relationships.
Second chances rarely work because the truth is that people do not change no matter how much you wish and pray for that to happen.
Remember that a healthy relationship is always one in which both partners love each other unconditionally without ever changing their mind and without straying away just because one day they wake up to realize you’re not right for them anymore.
Why do you ignore other women who want to get close to you? Begin by removing any evidence of the ex in your life. Throw those photos, delete those messages, cure that heart, and make some room for a better person. Don’t throw away new people just because you can’t get over someone. Give them a chance to make you happy and to be happy themselves. Erase those memories of the past.
Try to find as many flaws in your ex and as many good, lovable things in the new person as possible. Stop comparing and be willing to fully love a new soul forever. Don’t believe all women are the same. (Whoever told you that!) Every single girl you’ll ever meet is unique, and it’s your duty to find the one for whom you are just as perfect as she is to you, like it’s your job to brightly welcome new people into your life without living in the regret of the past. And keep in mind that whatever happened then is not your fault, and you shouldn’t punish yourself for the failures of your past. Also, do not blame your ex. Be happy that you lost someone who didn’t love you. That was then. You can’t go back to change anything and, as a matter of fact, you wouldn’t be able to change it because, as cliché as it sounds, that’s how things were meant to be. Yes, your fate might seem twisted, but we all meet people for a good reason.
Every person we lose is a step toward your becoming.
How can you fight it? It’s easy! Get over her. Give someone else a chance. Give yourself a chance to be happy again. Live your life boldly. Make mistakes over and over again if you have to. You will only learn about what you love, what you hate, and what you truly want in life. Why? Because you, like me, like her, and like him deserve to be fulfilled and content with the relationship you’re in. You loved her, but that love will soon disappear. There’s still hope for you. There’s still time. However, you will never get back the chances you ignored, and you will never be able to imagine the amount of love you lost because you were unwillingly chained by the ghost of your past relationship.
So now, man, who will give back your peace? It’s up to you to claim it. I dare you.
Photo/Pexels
I used to think my meltdown after the break-up is something offbeat. After reading this I realized that it happens probably to a lot of (emotional) guys which is why you have come up with those beautiful words. I am really astonished how you just worded how I have been feeling inside. I am saving this page safely, it might be a Bible after break-up, knowing I would be allowing new soul(s) in again.
Thanks a lot.
I’m really glad it helps! Don’t lose the faith!
“Love” is conditional, transactional and temporary. Want to get over the ex?….Get a Jeep, a motorcycle, a host of guns, or a boat – all of which will drown out and need to step into the same trap you jumped into last time. Don’t spend a life making the same mistakes
From the bottom of my heart,i thank you for this article. Thank you for convincing me that there is a hope after a very bad breakup
Glad to help! This is why I wrote it! 🙂