Keeping the romance alive isn’t always easy.
Between kids, work, family, the day-to-day, and everything else… it can be hard to keep the romance vibrant, fresh, and a priority.
Working with 300+ married couples has made me privy to what it takes to fail in love, succeed in love, and everything in between.
If you want to keep the intimacy alive and strong, the truth is that it doesn’t have to be hard. In fact, with just a few simple commitments and habits, you can have a strong and vibrant relationship despite being busy or overwhelmed.
If you’d like to have that romance, here are a few actions you can start implementing into your relationship today to help the love.
1. Give Compliments
Everyone loves being appreciated. Hearing words of praise and thankfulness can make a world of difference. Sadly, in a long committed relationship (with or without kids), couples can forget everything the other person does for the relationship.
By giving a few compliments regularly, we’ll create some positive emotion and add positive emotions to what renowned marriage researchers, Drs. John and Julie Gottman call the ‘Emotional Bank Account.’
2. Date Nights
Take time to make the relationship a priority. Go on dates. They don’t have to be big and crazy dates. They can be as simple as an hour at a café or a stroll in the neighborhood.
When you commit to a date night, you are telling your partner that the quality of the relationship is important and a priority.
3. Be Curious
300+ married couples taught me that happy couples believe that there is always something new to learn about my partner.
By asking questions, we invite our partner to share themselves. When we show interest in our partner’s world, we are able to gain new insight and show to our partner that their world matters to us. Ask new and interesting questions.
4. Experience New Things Together
In one of our interviews, we had on Dr. Arthur Aron and discovered something interesting. When couples do new things together, it triggers parts of the brain that only fire when a couple first falls in love.
By doing new activities together, you are stimulating very powerful neurons of love.
5. Touch Often
Research has now shown us that touch stimulates oxytocin – the brain chemical that helps us bond, live longer, be healthier and happier.
Science has also proved that we live longer, healthier, and have less stress when we are touched more.
Men need at least 8 hugs a day to reach their quota of hugs to help them live longer. Women do not require as much, but you can still use this as one more reason to hug and touch your partner.
If you want more in your relationship, I’d like to share our top 3 interviews to help you have more intimacy, connection, and love in your relationship.
Gay Hendricks
Drs. John & Julie Gottman
Guy Finley
By reading this article, it’s my sincerest hope that you will have the most amazing relationship ever.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Luis,
Great points here especially the curiousity piece. I think the Gottmans have a list of questions to ask your spouse that tap into some forgotten or unknown qualities of your partner.
These practices are easy to forget or neglect when we are overwhelmed, how do you keep them a part of a regular routine?
Calvin –
Great question! The best way to keep these practices consistent is by doing something like a date night – with date nights and setting time to make love a priority these practices will naturally (or most likely) arise out of making time for each other. I also think that by doing something like the Gottman’s Love Map game (which you can grab for free on their website) then you’ll have one more fun activity during date night to keep these practices fresh and vibrant in your partnership.