Most guys have it backwards.
They think that when they get a girlfriend, they will finally be happy.
Sorry to piss on your cornflakes but that’s not how it works.
If only someone explained this to me back in the day, I would’ve had less frustrations in my dating life.
To prove my point, let me ask you a question.
Have you ever met someone who became very “busy” after going on a few dates with you?
This happened to me A LOT and I couldn’t figure out why.
Insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result.
So I took a step back to asses what’s going on.
Let me share with you what I discovered.
When a woman meets you for the first time, she’s assessing subconsciously what type of life she’s gonna have with you.
Is it going to be exciting and spontaneous OR is it going to be lame and predictable?
It’s a bit of a tough pill to swallow, isn’t it?
Here’s the ugly truth about getting a girlfriend. You may not like it but I’ll tell you anyway.
You don’t attract what you want. You attract who you are.
The moment you’re happy on your own is when the right relationship enters your life.
I know this from experience.
Back in the day, I had nothing going for me. I had no hobbies, was out of shape and barely had friends.
Whenever I’d meet a girl, I would be OBSESSED with them.
My sense of self-worth was based on whether they like me or not.
Of course, none of them would want to go out with me.
Looking back now, I really couldn’t blame them. Who would want to date someone who lived such a boring life?
That’s when I took a break from dating and decided to focus on myself.
I started going to the gym, reading interesting books and taking up new hobbies.
Overtime, I started to really like my own company. I valued my opinion more and did more things that I enjoyed.
And then something strange happened. Women were suddenly more interested in me.
If I go on a bad date or someone didn’t text me back right away, I was less reactive.
I knew that I had better things to do than worry about something so petty.
Funny how that works, huh?
The better you become as a man, the higher quality relationships you’ll attract in your life.
Whoever says otherwise is selling you hype.
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This article originally appeared Social Confidence Mastery