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Most guys have it backwards.
They think that when they get a girlfriend, they will finally be happy.
Sorry to piss on your cornflakes but that’s not how it works.
If only someone explained this to me back in the day, I would’ve had less frustrations in my dating life.
To prove my point, let me ask you a question.
Have you ever met someone who became very “busy” after going on a few dates with you?
This happened to me A LOT and I couldn’t figure out why.
Insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result.
So I took a step back to asses what’s going on.
Let me share with you what I discovered.
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The moment you’re happy on your own is when the right relationship enters your life.
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When a woman meets you for the first time, she’s assessing subconsciously what type of life she’s gonna have with you.
Is it going to be exciting and spontaneous OR is it going to be lame and predictable?
It’s a bit of a tough pill to swallow, isn’t it?
Here’s the ugly truth about getting a girlfriend. You may not like it but I’ll tell you anyway.
You don’t attract what you want. You attract who you are.
The moment you’re happy on your own is when the right relationship enters your life.
I know this from experience.
Back in the day, I had nothing going for me. I had no hobbies, was out of shape and barely had friends.
Whenever I’d meet a girl, I would be OBSESSED with them.
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My sense of self-worth was based on whether they like me or not.
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My sense of self-worth was based on whether they like me or not.
Of course, none of them would want to go out with me.
Looking back now, I really couldn’t blame them. Who would want to date someone who lived such a boring life?
That’s when I took a break from dating and decided to focus on myself.
I started going to the gym, reading interesting books and taking up new hobbies.
Overtime, I started to really like my own company. I valued my opinion more and did more things that I enjoyed.
And then something strange happened. Women were suddenly more interested in me.
If I go on a bad date or someone didn’t text me back right away, I was less reactive.
I knew that I had better things to do than worry about something so petty.
Funny how that works, huh?
The better you become as a man, the higher quality relationships you’ll attract in your life.
Whoever says otherwise is selling you hype.
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This article originally appeared Social Confidence Mastery
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
It is just society selling us that being single is sad,which is very not true.
Find mike suliau on facebook her technique work.
The same principle applies with the person of opposite gender too. The more you are content and complete in oneself you will also find someone in similar fashion. Its not about looking for someone to complete you, it more to look for a person who complements your living. Very well written. thanks for sharing.
Thia is one of the major differences I have with Nerdlove. He tells guys to focus on getting dates. I tell guys to focus on having fun. dates will come or not, but will it really matter if you’re having a good time? I’ve found that when I’m having a good time (life of the party type stuff) women gravitate towards me. My major disagreement is that the quality of the man doesn’t have anything to do with the quality of the woman or relationship. I’ve seen many abusive jerks get lots of pretty, intelligent, successful, women. I know one… Read more »
John, “She could still walk into any bar and turn heads. She was gorgeous.” This is exactly why Johnny Depp is paying out $7 mil….When are we men going to stop with this looks shit…? There is more to a woman than her looks. If you want to fuck her because of how she looks then I say fine…but too many men want to have have relationships or marry women just because she is “gorgeous.” That is just plain dumb. Look what it cost Johnny Depp. But, I blame him. Hell look what a total idiot RGIII is being all… Read more »
People want different things and people prioritize different things and prioritize different things at different points in a relationship. I may be initially attracted to a woman because she’s gorgeous, but wouldn’t continue the relationship because she has nothing of substance to offer. Heck, I know a woman like this. She was the best sex I ever had, but not worth the few hours I’d have to deal with her in order to get it. Veronica seemed like her heart was in the right place. I could tell she loved her children and husband. She was a nice conversationalist, but… Read more »
“I hope you’ve enjoyed learning this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing this for you.”
Yeah, like there’s only 2 articles a week with the exact same message only here on GMP, thanks for telling us something we already knew.
I have plenty of hobbies, friends, and I am in good enough shape to live an active outdoor life. And I haven’t had a date in 15 years. So I guess I’m just plain ugly and boring.
Dude, I just read one of your comments on a different article and you seem to lead with bitter cynicism. That attitude will only push women away. If you’ve got your shit together, then you don’t need a woman to validate that for you. Maybe adjust your perspective to focus on what you have. Just be confident and content in your achievements of having friends, hobbies and an outdoor life. That will naturally put you in a better mood, and people (including women) will be drawn to you.
Hi Sarah and thank you for your kind reply. You probably won’t believe me, but I’ve spent most of my life being mostly happy with what I have, including friends, social life and hobbies. I have also taken up, introduced, and encouraged countless women to activities that I’ve been interested in. My point was simply that we’re often told by articles on this site, that it’s rather stupid to repeat the same pattern and expect a different result. However, there doesn’t seem to be any limit to the number of articles you can put on here to repeat the same… Read more »
Bottom line: Just because I live a life that I enjoy, and get to experience lots of stuff others don’t, doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t also enjoy to have a lover, someone who would get me and enjoy being with me because of who I am, not only for what I can provide in form of connections and experiences.
Honestly, this article remind me about my life….i can co relate with it. Moral of the story..jus enjoy ur life do good to urself and law of attraction will follow.
Agree, mostly: You should start living life to please yourself for its own sake. If you try to live a more interesting life just to attract women, not only does it carry the risk of coming off as insincere or being only temporary, it simply might not work.
Personally, I decided that I could have a happy, single life, and a funny thing happened: I’m still not very physically attractive, and women still aren’t interested. But I have a better life, anyway.