Josh Bowman shares some tips on how to use public bathrooms, since apparently most people are disgusting pee monsters.
- Don’t pee on the seat. Don’t poo on the seat. Don’t leave liquids on the seat that come from your body.
- If you decide to poo, and then whilst flushing, you realize that the toilet is clogged…use a plunger if one is available. If not, tell a maintenance person. Or, just walk away and pee all over the floor like an asshole. Whatever works.
- No spitballs.
- Treat a public bathroom like it is your personal home bathroom. Unless you treat your personal home bathroom terribly, in which case learn how to use a bathroom like a civilized person.
- Respect the one urinal buffer zone, unless you don’t have a choice.
- If you want to write on the toilet stall walls, be clever. How can you subvert standard graffiti? Yes, you want to draw a penis. Sure. But what does that penis really mean?
- If you have to have a conversation on your cell phone, that’s fine. But if I am in there with you, I will be burping and farting extra loud. Because it’s funny.
- It is weird to shave or brush your teeth in a public bathroom. Sometimes it is necessary (at an airport, after a week-long circuit party), but just recognize that it feels weird for other people in there with you.
- If there is a hole in the side of the bathroom stall, don’t put anything through it. Just let it be.
Just let it be.
- If the bathroom attendant offers you gum or mints, don’t take them.