Your first date
is going amazingly well.
Everything is right. The person you’re with possesses all of the attributes you admire, shares your interests, but is also uniquely themself in a way you find tremendously intriguing. And best of all, they clearly feel the same way about you. Then it happens.
Before you can say or do anything about it, a loud, undeniable fart escapes from your body.
How do you deal with it? Do you turn it into a joke? Pretend it never happened? Blame it on someone else? Get indignant and rant about how everyone does it and it’s absurd to consider it something shameful? Or do you run from wherever you are sitting and never look back, lest you turn into a pillar of salt?
As you think about it, let us also ponder a second possibility. What if, while you are sitting there it’s the person you’re with who lets loose with the embarrassing, impossible to ignore blast of human swamp gas?
Do you say anything? Do you think less of them? Are you suddenly filled with doubt and disappointment when just minutes ago you were already considering a long future with them?
As much as they make people laugh, farts are serious business. And it’s time we talked about it and let it all out into the air!
I think I would say something to her if she cut the cheese. But I’m not sure if I’d say any thing if it were a queef
There’s a funny, touching, (possibly fake) craigslist post from at least 5 years ago covering this very subject, although to be more precise it was a shart more than a fart. Simply google “gambled on a fart and lost” and you’ll find it quite easily.
Under the assumption that everything is going swimmingly and I’m definitely going to see him again, then if he tooted I’d totally laugh it off and move on. If it were me, I’d say excuse me profusely and probably be really embarrassed, but if he’s a guy I want to date, then ideally he’d laugh it off too and we’d move on.