You are given

a very special gift

that requires you

to make a choice.

With it you can

either become

the world’s greatest lover

or

the world’s greatest fighter.

 
You can refuse if you want for some dumb reason, but doing so WILL A) significantly shorten your life and B) cause a plague that wipes out everyone except assholes who talk in movie theatres.

But what does it mean to accept? Well, as the world’s greatest lover your gifts will be more than purely sexual. You will also become the most charismatic and empathetic person in the world, capable of charming and endearing yourself to even the frostiest of hearts. But this won’t be without its headaches. If you choose to be monogamous your inherent skills will almost inevitably cause your partner to become extremely possessive and jealous–they will constantly assume you are unfaithful no matter how you behave. Also, many people in the world will become obsessed with you, imagining relationships that do not exist and making it difficult to truly trust anyone.

And as the world’s greatest fighter you will not just dominate in any form of physical combat, you will also be the world’s greatest debater and activist. Any cause you decide to support will almost certainly meet its goal. If you choose to run for public office, you will win. If you wanted, you could very well lead the world. But you will never be able to rest, because your life will be a constant battle and there will always be someone ready to take you on in hopes of usurping your greatness–even though the only battle you would ever lose is with the world’s greatest lover, because as powerful as you are, you’re really terrible in bed.