I don’t just mean you should hire an exclusive matchmaking service because, while that may be ideal, it is not realistic for everyone’s budget.
At some point, we have all been the single friend in our cliques. This meant binging on Netflix, wild nights out and perhaps, most importantly, being set up by all of our friends. But, having your friends play cupid can be very tricky.
If the date is a major bust, the first person to whom you will want to vent is your friend who just set you up. Be careful; she may get offended that you didn’t think the guy she set you up with was the total hottie she described.
Remember, there is a reason she set you up with him in the first place.
Next time your bestie offers to set you up, pass! After all, you don’t want a guy to break up your friendship. Leave the dirty work to the professional matchmakers!
Let me clarify: I don’t just mean you should hire an exclusive matchmaking service because, while that may be ideal, it is not realistic for everyone’s budget.
But, don’t fret! There is a multitude of dating apps and sites that can act as your personal matchmaker by filtering through your potential dates, based on exactly what you want in a man. Sounds great, right?
Here are five reasons to leave the matchmaking to the professionals:
1. Finding Mr. Right
Best Friend: Your best friend may think she knows you inside out when it comes to men, but does she?
She will base your taste on the past guys you dated or what you previously said you want in a guy. But, your past may not reflect what you want for the future.
And, love is a two-way street; the guy she is setting you up with also has to be looking for a girl exactly like you. Do you think she took that into consideration?
While your friends may think they know your taste in men physically, they rarely delve into your checklist right before they set you up. The reason for this is that your friends are not screening men for you to find your soul mate — they are merely setting you up with one of their guy friends.
Matchmaker: A matchmaker takes the time to get to know you on a personal level and deeply understands what you are looking for on every level, from physical appearance to education level to age range and everything in-between. He or she finds and screens men based on your checklist.
Then, the matchmaker filters through all of the men to give you potential matches. Matchmakers are not trying to just set you up with someone they know; they are trying to search for your Mr. Right.
2. Don’t let anyone twist your arm!
Best Friend: “He’s a 10.” “He is totally your type.”
Let’s face it: Our friends oversell dates, and if your friend needs to convince you to accept the date, he is probably not your type. They make it seem like the guy is 100 percent perfect and fail to mention any flaws.
They are not trying to trick you; they just want to ensure you go on the date because they have probably already grown overly excited about the idea of playing Cupid. They may have already told the guy about you, too.
Matchmaker: When it comes to a matchmaker and online dating, there is no bias on the guy with whom you will get set you up. You’ll get a brief bio with basic information and a photo, and the rest is up to you to judge whether or not he’s a match.
Matchmakers neither have an attachment to you or the guy, so it’s easy to keep things professional.
3. Pre-Date Jitters
Best Friend: Getting advice on the dos and don’ts of your first date can help ease your nerves. Since your friend knows the guys she is setting you up with, you may turn to her for advice on what to wear or a potential conversation starter.
But, when it comes to dating advice, your friend is primarily speaking from her personal dating experience or friendship with the guy; she does not know how he will be on a date.
And, when it comes to taking her advice on what to wear, she might give you the go-ahead to wear your tightest club dress to look hot on your date, but she isn’t considering the location of the date or the idea of leaving something to the imagination.
Remember, you only have one shot a first impression.
Matchmaker: Matchmakers speak to you before the date to give you expert advice on what to wear, what to speak about, what to do after and other helpful tips to make sure that you ace your first date and leave a lasting impression.
But, when it comes to the world of online dating, don’t underestimate the power of the Internet.
Tips and tricks to look and feel your best before the date are available online and many of them are written by love experts.
4. Feedback Without The Fear-Factor
Best Friend: When it comes to feedback, speaking with your friends can be very tricky, especially when they are the ones who arranged the date. If your friend sets you up, the first call you make after your date will be to her to learn the deets from your date’s side and to vent to her about your feelings.
There are a few ways this conversation could go very wrong, very fast. Let’s say you had a wonderful time, but your date wasn’t digging you.
It is up to your friend to break the bad news, and let’s be honest: You will blame her for setting you up in the first place.
Another scenario is that you had a terrible time and your date enjoyed it. Then, you have to break the news to your friend that her taste was way off and you may even get mad at her for setting you up.
Even if you both enjoyed the date, the friend who set you up will always be the mediator.
Getting involved in the details of your relationship on both sides means drama, drama and more drama.
Matchmaker: Eliminate the drama and complications by using a matchmaker or dating site.
When you give your honest feedback to a matchmaker, there is no messy conversation because he or she doesn’t have any attachment to the other person.
Therefore, you will get honest feedback from your date and tell your date your honest feedback — no pressure involved.
When it comes to online dating, since you are set up through an app or site, you can vent to your friends with no pressure because they also have no attachment or biased opinion to your date.
5. On To The Next One
Best Friend: When it comes to the second date, leave it up to fate! Don’t let your friend sucker you into saying yes or convince your date to ask you out again.
The second date has to be a mutual and authentic decision made on both parts without any interference or pressure from your best friend.
You don’t want to go on a second date because you feel bad or vice versa. If you accept a date because your friend pressured you, you are just leading on your date on further, which is fair to neither of you.
Matchmaker: When it comes to a matchmaker or online dating service, the second-date decision is completely in your hands, without any unwanted pressure or interference.
If it does not work in the beginning, it most likely won’t work in the end. You don’t want to get yourself stuck in a situation of forcing a relationship to work when you know it never will because, in the end, you are just wasting your time. Nobody has time to waste.
by Samantha Cohen
About the author
Samantha Cohen is the Business Director at Project Soulmate, an exclusive matchmaking company founded by matchmakers and BRAVO TV’s Love Brokers Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher. www.projectsoulmate.com.
This article originally appeared on Elite Daily.
Photo credit: Nathan Congleton/flickr