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I wanted to write some kind of x-number of reasons to date an Asperger’s guy piece (a form of autism). The problem is, I’ve only dated one, I’m still dating him, and as long as he proposes before all the rings, hairstyles, and formal attire on my Pinterest boards go out of style, I’m done dating others. Furthermore, let’s be honest, some men are jerks, and it follows that some Aspie (Asperger’s) men are probably jerks too. I can’t categorically recommend all Aspie men. Just mine. But he’s taken!
That said, I have a good idea of what autistic traits led other women to pass on the guy who sparked my interest in ombre wedding dresses. I’m beyond delighted that those women are missing out on what I have, but I bear less ill will toward everyone else. I’m happy to share 7 things that are not reasons not to date a guy with Asperger’s.
1. He’s awkward.
When he was interested in me, before we started dating, he introduced me to an acquaintance as “Shannon, not Shannon, my girlfriend… just Shannon.” It was so damn endearing, I forgot to be embarrassed. (A few days later, I was his girlfriend.)
2. He’s obsessive.
Never underestimate the creativity of an aspie guy, particularly one as intelligent as mine, obsessed with making a woman happy.
3. He’s weird.
(He calls it “quirky”). In my experience, the level of weirdness a person achieves is frequently proportional to the amount of intelligence and creativity they possess. If you aren’t a little bit weird, you’re boring, and I don’t like you.
4. He’s blunt.
I don’t have to wonder how he feels about me. He’s constitutionally incapable of lying, and even if he could lie, figuring out what I’d want to hear isn’t something his brain could manage.
5. He appears unemotional.
Not displaying emotions is different from not having them. I’ve dated men who cried during chic flicks who, nevertheless, managed to hurt me in inconceivable ways. Aspies, especially adults on the spectrum, are loyal to a fault and demonstrate affection in practical ways.
6. He can’t take a hint.
God forbid you should have someone in your life who will gladly do anything you directly ask of him because he’s so damn happy to have a sure-fire way to demonstrate his affection for you (see above).
7. He’s a nerd.
Nerds want to learn about and understand whatever catches their interest. If you’re lucky enough to catch the interest of a nerd, your likes and dislikes might just be the ultimate subject and/or skill they aim to master. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.
Granted, an As[ie man, like any other, will present risks. The things above could, respectively, equate to socially disastrous, compulsive, disturbingly strange, rude, cold, obtuse, and interested only in things that aren’t you. But sometimes higher stakes come with bigger payoffs. If you get the opportunity to date a guy with Asperger’s (unless you’ve found a way to make dating into something other than a crapshoot), consider taking a chance.
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Shannon Hughes is a freelance writer, graphic designer, and artist from Southwest Missouri who is currently creating her first blog, The Mind of Shannon.
She is a partner on the website Not Weird Just Autistic where she co-hosts their podcast, writes for the blog and is officially listed as The Voice of Reason.
When not writing, Shannon spends time with her poodles, Armand and Dante. She hoards art supplies. and maintains a diet root beer addiction.
