Life Tip #18: Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Care About

Most of us have a little voice in our head and there are times when it’s not nice. Sometimes (or more often, depending on your inner voice), it jumps in with a commentary that talks to you like you’re a dog. You’d never say anything like this to someone else, but you let your inner voice talk to you that way.

“Wow, you really messed that up.”
“Why can’t you get it together?”
“Everyone else is doing better than you.”
You’re a failure.
You’re useless!

…

You’d never say these things to your kid or someone you love, so why do you say it to yourself?

Here’s some things that will help:

Notice the tone, not just the words. Sometimes, it’s not just the words, it’s how you’re saying it. Sharp, rushed, disappointed. This is your cue to soften that tone. You can try, sometimes it’ll work and sometimes, it won’t. But Try.
Ask yourself, “Would I say this to someone I care about?” If the answer is no, then you shouldn’t say it to yourself either.
Try to voice a kinder version. Not fake positivity. Not affirmation that you don’t believe. Just softer. Little shifts make a big difference.

…

“I’m learning.”
“I did my best today.”
“That was hard.”

Kindness isn’t coddling yourself.

Kindness is how you stay steady. It’s how you grow without breaking yourself in the process.

Talk to yourself like someone you care about. Tell yourself the things you need to hear in a good tone.

You are someone worth caring about, even on ‘those’ days.

Be kind to yourself as much as you are to everybody else.

If your inner voice doesn’t soften its tone or you can’t control it. if the bad thoughts continue or get worse, please seek professional help. Don’t let those thoughts continue to hurt you.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.