Toddler Lexicon: What a toddler hears when you speak is pretty much exactly the opposite of what you say.
The Harsh Truth: Having a Pet Just Isn’t the Same As Having a Kid
Lassie doesn’t lie (and other reasons raising a dog is not the same as parenthood).
You Don’t Know the Meaning of ‘Mess’ Until You’re a Dad at Brunch With a Toddler
Brett Ortler never could’ve imagined the magnitude of messes a toddler can make. Thank goodness for Babyganics.
8 Ways Having a Toddler Is Like a Hostage Negotiation with a Highly Unstable Person
Raising a toddler means accepting that they’re pissed off even when you give them exactly what they want.
Notice of Eviction (For My About-to-be-Born Daughter)
Brett Ortler’s note to his unborn baby.
Dads, Kids, and Wearable Momaganda
Let’s talk about pro-mom propaganda in baby clothes.
Digital Sadism: Too Many Parents Moonlight as Online Trolls
Breastfeeding exclusively? Pumping and augmenting with formula? Going all formula? Brett Ortler says it’s none of his business—and his family’s choices are none of yours, either.
The Pumpkin Man Speaks
A kid dressed up like Iron Man looking for candy isn’t promoting demonism.
‘Lego Friends’ Can Go Straight to Hell, or Why Gendered Toys Are Bad for Kids
Brett Ortler is disappointed that the most gender-neutral of toys has fallen back into gendered stereotypes.
“Who Taught my Baby Brazilian Jiu Jitsu?” Surviving the First Year of Fatherhood.
Brett Ortler takes us on a rollicking look at the changes that happened and the things he learned during his son’s first year of life.
Bridges and Vaccination: America’s Biggest Threats
We take bridges for granted, but are they hurting your family’s health?