There are some things you should know about losing significant amounts of weight
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1. You need new clothes every 3 months
Overall, I lost about nine inches off my waist over about 18 months. So that’s averaging an inch every two months. In reality, it was more like a couple months of no discernible change and then I’d drop two pants sizes in the same month. It’s unpredictable. It’s cool and exciting and encouraging, sure, but it’s also expensive.
Pro Tip: Women’s jeans tend to be about 2% spandex. Buy them a little small and they’ll stretch out by the end of the first day. Wash them as rarely as you can stand. Once you lose some fat around the thighs and waist, they’ll fit looser. Sometimes, it’s hard to find them long enough if you’re tall.
2. You’re going to get cold more easily
I suspect that my reduced caloric intake (before my running mileage increased) is mostly to blame, but I was cold a lot. Before losing weight, I rarely got cold. But as the pounds fell away, I found that I was cold all the time. Well, not all the time— at the time, I was living in central Alabama, but I was definitely getting cold more easily.
3. Dudes don’t want to fight anymore
When I was 275 lbs and bench pressed 315 lbs, dudes grew aggressive quickly. Setting didn’t matter much, either— a bar, a classroom, a Waffle House parking lot. Disagreements and debates devolved into macho chest pounding. If I were debating something like politics with a guy, he would inevitably get out of his chair and stand over me. Or if I, say, bumped into a guy in a crowded bar, I would say something like, “My bad, dude” and continue on. Normally, I could see the wheels turning in his head, trying to decide if he were going to be pissed off about this or not. The feeling that a fight would break out at any moment hung over many of my interactions with guys I didn’t know.
Now, I don’t feel that. Guys have become much more civil to me. Now that my arms shake while carrying grocery bags, these dudes have nothing to prove.
4. There’s such a thing as the female gaze
I was conditioned to believe a few things about male/female interactions. Many people are lead to believe similar lies. Men are visual and women are not. Men pursue and women do not. These are all lies. I mean, they’re true for some men and some women, but as generalizations generally are, they’re pretty useless.
Fairly unreliable personal anecdote: I’ve lived in central Alabama and southeastern Louisiana. Therefore, I’m not fond of running with a shirt on. The result of this is leering, honking, and catcalling— mostly from women. Every time I get dressed for running, I have to choose between street harassment and possible dehydration. Lately, I’ve been choosing dehydration; it’s not as uncomfortable.
5. Everyone’s an expert
Oftentimes, when I tell people that I lost a significant amount of weight while in college, or if they saw me somewhere along they way, they would offer unsolicited advice. The conversation usually went something like this:
Unsolicited Advice Guy: Wow. You’ve lost weight.
Me: Yeh, a little.
Unsolicited Advice Guy: How’d you do it?
Me: Mostly running. Lots of running.
Unsolicited Advice Guy: What you should do is this new thing I saw. You only eat on even-numbered days. It causes the body to release an enzyme, and you lose like twelve pounds a day. That dude in that movie did it to play that vampire with the six-pack. It works.
This kind of unsolicited advice is usually asinine and is usually meant to make the process of getting in shape or losing weight intensely complex. Why would someone want to complicate the process further? Well, that leads directly to #6.
6. You will hear lots of unsolicited excuses
These conversations were often similar to Unsolicited Advice Guy. They looked something like this.
Unsolicited Excuse Guy: Wow. You’ve lost weight.
Me: Yeh, a little.
Unsolicited Excuse Guy: How’d you do it?
Me: Mostly running. Lots of running.
Unsolicited Excuse Guy: Oh, I would run, but I have low cartilage in my knee.
Me: Bummer.
Unsolicited Excuse Guy: Running is pretty bad for your knees. I used to do some swimming, but I’m just so busy at work. I just don’t have the time.
I usually feel a little sorry for Unsolicited Excuse Guy; he’s so insecure about himself that anytime someone mentions what he/she is doing positively, this guy has to make an excuse why he’s not doing that thing as well.
7. People will think you’re “lucky”
These are the people who say things like, “You’re so lucky you can lose weight easily.” Now, there are some places where luck was a big factor: I’m able-bodied and do not have a condition or medication that impedes weight loss. However, I can’t help but think back to throwing up last night’s spaghetti on mile 12 of 15 and feeling that luck didn’t play as big a role as some people would like to believe. I was in undergrad at the time and working a part-time job, so I had plenty of free time in the mornings. That was lucky, I guess.
Surely, I can’t be the only one. Have you lost weight and found that it’s not quite what you thought it would be? Let me know in the comments.
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Women catcalling? Leering? Really?? Where? WHERE?!?! I will move there in a heartbeat and stay for the duration. I’m only down my first 15 pounds out of a goal of 50 but at age 60 I’m not expecting any women to notice. Most of the women interested in guys my age have libidos that have dried up and blown away.
that’s why you get a trophy wife/gf. duh
Great article! I went from 245 to 140 when I was 17… Everyone uses puberty as my “excuse.” But they weren’t with me in the gym everyday!
I’ve lost 102 lbs. Everything you’ve said is true. Especially numbers 1 and 6.
I started running and walking 5 a little over 5 years ago. My wife was leaving me and I asked her what could I have changed. She emphatically told me I got fat. I started running that night. Changed the diet for a while – no soda, salads with chicken breast, yogurt. I lost 40 lbs in 30 days. Once I settled in and started eating again, I gained some back. Plateau ed for a while. 4 years in, I went to Brazil for 3 months. Didn’t drive, so I walked a lot. There were steep his and I utilized… Read more »
I lost a hundred pounds a few years ago. Now, instead of hiding my extra pounds, I have to hide my sagging skin. Fully dressed, I appear much smaller (better?) but in shorts or a bathing suit, my arms and legs still look awful. It’s not as fabulous as I hoped it would be!
I totally get the part about “how lucky I am that I’m able to lose weight.” I was (plus or minus 15 pounds) 6’3 300 pounds from the age of 16 until 24, at 26 I now weigh 175 and am working on adding more muscle back to my frame; luck my ass. Discipline, not luck. Everyone just seems to be a crab in a bucket.
you wil upset the pecking order with your male friends. You will find out who your true friends are & who hangs out with you to make themselves feel better about themselves
So true, and so good!
(Not that I’ve done 100 lbs myself, but added 20, lost 11) — and a lot of what you said rings true!
#8 People who didn’t know you before assume you’ve always been this size. Yes, once upon a time, I was 5’2″ and 182lbs. I had (at the time undiagnosed) celiac disease, causing hypothyroidism. I lost the first 40lbs in 3 months. Had reached 59lbs before I started gaining muscle. (It’s back to 40lbs, but now I have to buy large shirts to fit my arms and have them altered.) #9 Gallstones are a real possibility. A year and a half after the weight loss started, I had severe abdominal pain. After finding nothing of significance in the ER (other than… Read more »
Hehe I was the opposite. Bad lifestyle choices and borderline teen anorexia left me at around 6-7 stone when I was eighteen. That’s less than 100 pounds. Now at 23 I’m at a rather healthier weight of 160 lbs. Agree about the clothes thing. I used to wear loads of baggy clothes, but now that I’ve gained weight they either fit me fine or are too small for me now hehe
People underestimate how much denser muscle is than fat. I hear all the time, “You look like you’ve lost WAY more than 40 lbs!” The truth is, I had lost almost 60 before the muscle started coming in. Also, if it happens quickly, as was my case, people not only need to know the cause of the weight loss, they inevitably joke that they should try it. Yes, I went gluten-free…after a diagnosis of celiac disease. Yes, after changing my diet so that it was healthy FOR ME, my thyroid started working again, and I lost 38 lbs in three… Read more »
I’ve lost 70lbs in just under 5 months. I wasn’t “lucky”, or even trying. Me dad died April 3rd, and on April 29th, my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I was the primary caretaker for both, my mom passed August 9th. I lost the weight cuz I stopped eating entirely from stress. I’ve had to buy clothes every 2 or 3 weeks, I’m finally eating again, and I’m going to try to keep the weight off, but it kills me when people congratulate me for losing it. I’d much rather have my parents back.
I think the worst for me were the multitudes of people who were well meaning, but wouldbsay things like, “you need to slow down. You look like you’re sick.” It was really discouraging, especially when u felt the best I had in my entire life. Besides, maybe I looked thin clothed, but clothes hide a lot.
Thanks for saying what I’ve been trying to find the words for. I’m about 80 pounds down (over 5 years) and I’ve experienced every single one of these things. Some are great (I actually love buying new clothes…it’s a huge motivator) and some aren’t so great (the advice…so much advice…).
I’ll gladly keep enduring the not-so-great stuff, because I feel fantastic, and that’s all that matters.
I’m 4 pounds shy of 100 pounds lost. It’s taken me 7 years, off and on. Most of it fell off this year. You nailed it with the clothes thing. I went from around a size 20 to an 8 (those were the shorts I bought last week…but they’re already getting loose). I haven’t worn a single digit size since I was in the 5th grade. I had so many comments from former co-workers about “I don’t remember you being that big,” that I finally made a collage of 2007 to now, and put it on Facebook so people would… Read more »
Afew years ago i was spending 2-3 days a week at an organic farm in the adelaide hills as a key member. One hot summers day, over lunch the issue of females.not being able to go topless cane up. We were all pretty left, alternative, hippy etc. The.conversation was light but i thinj everyone was aware of the gravity behind the topic. After about 5 minutes of this one of the volunteers said ” given that there are zero children and this is private property and a private environment, put your hand up if you have any objection to any… Read more »
I have gotten the.occasional “sick” inquiry but oddly enough it nearly always seems to come from the overweight. I have come to realise it is actually a thinly veiled barb. Misery loves company. I think this is kind of attached to the being healthy = fat shaming way of thinking. The most unbalanced area in this topic of conversation is when you hear the landslide of anti exercise and healthy diet comments. You will wear your joints out. Not all women like huge men. Trying for a six pack is just vein (i only ever wanted a gut that stuck… Read more »
I gained 40 pounds 16 years ago and lost it within 5 months…People didn’t recognize me at my biggest…and if they did, “Oh, you’ve gotten wider!” I appreciate your column and the comments but I think what is said before the weight loss is SO MUCH WORSE…we all remember!
I lost 97 pounds I had a fair amount of people asking if I lost it intentionally or if I was sick. It was very odd.
Number Whatever: You didn’t realize HOW out of shape you were and how much of life you were missing and how bogus the “love your body no matter what!” statement really was.
Lol, soooo true!!! I’ve lost over 110 lbs since last october mainly by changing diet and regular exercise. I always get 100 questions regarding proper diet,exercise,etc. i offer what i can but everyone is different. Some tings worked, some didnt. Honestly if i had to do it all over, i woukd start with a personal trainer, and a nutritionist.
I haven’t lost quite as much weight as you, but I’ve dropped 40+ pounds a couple of times in my adult life (say, from 210 to 175)…and what I heard most was, “You don’t need to lose anymore weight.” Or, if it was someone who felt they could say it, “You look like you’re sick.” I’ve often wondered if these words were spoken out of jealousy (usually by people who could stand to lose a few). But I think to myself, “I was FAT — overweight — I’ve worked hard to gain control of that part of my life. The… Read more »
I used to weigh 242 pounds (im converting from metric because imperial seem to be where it’s at here) and i’m now down to 154. The STRANGEST occurance i had was at a social gathering. I had not been social in months because of my weight in part. I used a mixture of weights, bodyweight and hiit. So i dropped fat and gained muscle. I was about 177 at the time. I had trained like a nutter so the change was quick and somewhat shocking. I was (happily) the centre of attention for a while that evening. Then i wasn’t… Read more »
And people will very carefully try to figure out how to ask you if you have cancer.
Mark, that’s something I didn’t think of until Iafter I wrote the follow up article to this one. People have asked me (not the hubs) if he’s got cancer. It’s happened more than once, usually in a whisper.
#4: Women must always wear a shirt. If you’re afraid of dehydrating, carry a water bottle. You’ll be fine.
Why must women wear shirts?
How often do you see a woman running around topless? And I mean, actually topless. It goes something like this: http://majestic-oakenboner.tumblr.com/post/84425207600/superduperfitblr-kendrawcandraw-stop
Actually the reason women wear shirts for physical activities is because it’s pretty painful to have your lady parts slapping around. I exercise in my room (HIIT) with the door closed and wear a compression bra to keep things comfortably where they belong. Of course the societal reaction is a major deterrent as well, but that’s not the only reason.
Amen to this — it’s wildly uncomfortable for me to do anything more active than, like, a brisk stroll to the store without a sports bra/compression bra. I’m all for women who want to be fully topless being able to do so, but I find it too physically uncomfortable to do so myself.
It looks like the moderators didn’t like the link in my last attempted response. The tumblogger’s username isn’t exactly family friendly, I suppose. In any case, the illustration depicts women doing the same thing as men in various situations, including shucking her shirt off and going topless when the weather is ridiculously hot. Actually topless; not censored by a sports bra. Topless man: acceptable. Topless woman: unacceptable.
I run shirtless and/because I hate carrying water bottles. Like, no, you couldn’t bribe or threaten me into that. So no, you can take that #4 and toss it right out the window, into the gorgeous Southern summer where sweat doesn’t actually evaporate and I don’t feel like having a shirt plastered to every inch of my torso.
I’m guessing you wear a sports bra.
Which is, as you can tell from the name not being “shirt”, not a shirt.