Men do a lot for love but we don’t always get to hear about it. We asked men: “Tell us something you’ve done for love” and they answered. Beautifully.
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1. Traded a sports championship for a Tina Turner concert: “I took my wife (then girlfriend) to see Tina Turner, one of her all-time faves, in concert for the first time. In a cruel coincidence, the Tina show ended up being on the same night when my favorite college basketball team would play for their first National Championship in 20 years. This was before smart phones and DVRs. I set the VCR at home and avoided the score in the bars on the way out of the venue and kept the radio off on the way home. It was absolute torture for me, but my lady had a great time and that’s all that mattered. We won, by the way.”-Jeff Bogle, Out With the Kids
2. Said “I love you” first: “I told my wife I loved her just a day after meeting her because I knew I had no choice but to be honest and true in that moment. It was a risk, but we’ve been together for 14 years now and I’ve never questioned it since.”-Charlie Capen, How to Be a Dad
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3. Loved from long distance: “I have flown across countries, had 15 hour phone conversations, and ignored time zone differences for love.”-Jordan Gray, Jordan Gray Consulting
4. Lived separately: “I have given up living with my partner so we both can have the time and focus to grow in our careers and personally…for love. We will live together again, but not until we have achieved our goals. We are still friends, still lovers, still there for each other.”-Wilhelm Cortez, Senior Editor at Good Men Project
5. Moved to California: “We decided to move to Cali so wifey could pursue her dreams of acting. Which in fact allowed me to find my dreams of coaching kids with Kamp Indy. Crazy in love.” – Evan “Indy” Moore, sports coach and cancer survivor.
6. Left California:
Hi Heather @HGrayLICSW – something I did for love? Left LA with my wife to raise our kids near family. That was 13 years ago; it worked out!
— Roger Darnell (@RKDarnell) October 7, 2014
7. Became a dad:
@gender_rebel @HGrayLICSW @goodmenproject @islandcubfree Took a chance and chose not to move and be a father to a son that isn’t mine. — Kevin Schultz (@the_realkevo) October 7, 2014
8. Gave his daughter a superhero in her image:
@HGrayLICSW I guess my Taj Mahal would be my #YA #Novel about black girls powers so my daughters could read about heroes that look like them
— Thelonious Legend (@TheLegendBooks) October 7, 2014
9. Prioritzed love over sexual orientation: “I changed my view of my sexual orientation and stayed with my partner when she transitioned from male to female. I went from identifying as gay to not worrying about how to classify my sexuality for love.”-Justin Ropella, Author at Good Men Project 10. Prioritized love over shelter: “Have you seen the meme that floats around Facebook showing someone who’d live in a tent for their dog? I actually lived it. Instead of going to a homeless shelter, where I would have to give up my dog – I decided we would camp in the forest, indefinitely. There is no love like the love of a dog.-Trevor Eyster, Author at Good Men Project 11. Collected quotes about love: “Not once, but twice (for two separate women), I filled a blank journal with 365 hand-written famous quotes about love so there would be one to see every day. One of those relationships lasted less than 3 months. The other lasted over one year, although the booklet was created over six months into the relationships, so none of the years were likely ever seen in full :(“-Scott Heydt, Editor at Good Men Project 12. Have worked some crappy jobs: “Something I’ve done for love? I woke up at 2 AM for a job watching x-ray machines and getting yelled at by airline passengers. I patted down flatulent old men, handled the worst smelling shoes in the world, and did it all before most people have their coffee. All so I could move to the city my love was in and save the money I needed to buy a ring and ask her to marry me.”-Thomas Whitener, Author at Good Men Project 13. Danced. For a cruise ship:
@gballingerjr @GoodMenProject @HGrayLICSW I danced for a whole cruise ship to win the newlywed game.. everyone called me “hoppy” after — dadmissions (@Dadmissions) October 9, 2014
14. Adopted animals. Lots of them:
@Dadmissions @GoodMenProject @HGrayLICSW~have adopted and taken care of countless abandoned critters, orphaned possum babies,dogs,cats,rats.
— ProgressPAC (@ProgressPAC) October 9, 2014
15. Faced hell:
Ran into hell and back. @HGrayLICSW: Hey, Men! I need your two cents for an @GoodMenProject article. Tell me something you’ve done for love! — TheRope (@ThePatrician) October 7, 2014
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16. Learned important love lessons: “I finally learned that I shouldn’t do anything to get love. All I need to know is how love is created. I’ve made the choice to own my thoughts, words, and actions that will create feelings of love with those I want in my life. Better late than never!”- Steve Horsman, GoodGuys2Great Men
17. Respected himself, first: “I decided to get in shape before proposing marriage. I was pretty certain she would have said yes regardless of my weight, but I did it as a way to show how much she means to me; to show that I was willing to engage in a quest of lifelong self improvement so she would always be happy that she’d married me. During the process I discovered that I was doing it more for myself than for her, but she still appreciates the effort.” – James Fell, Athlete and Fitness Expert, BodyForWife.com
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18. Battled a food addiction and won: “I went to bed hungry. I walked when I did not want to. I watched what I ate when I wanted to eat everything. I did this because I was over 400 pounds and needed to lose weight. I lost over 200 pounds. I did it not only for my wife who was thankful, but I realized I loved myself and did it because I was worth it. I also moved to Buffalo, NY from North Carolina because my wife wanted to be closer to her family. I went there with no job and no money saved. We were dating for less than a year at the time. I knew we would spend the rest of our lives together.” –Tony Posnanski, The Anti-Jared
19. Literally climbed mountains:
@gender_rebel @HGrayLICSW @GoodMenProject also, one of my best friends became a vegetarian and climbed Kilimanjaro…
— Tutku Barbaros (@tutkubarbaros) October 7, 2014
20. Traveled solo on a trip meant for two:
@Dadmissions @GoodMenProject @HGrayLICSW saved for an awesome Italian surprise vaca he dumped me so I went on molong trip solo #things4love — Gary Ballinger (@gballingerjr) October 9, 2014
21. Found the wedding ring:
@ProgressPAC @GoodMenProject @HGrayLICSW lost my wedding ring for 3 wks until I found it in a pk of Vienna Fingers. I ate ’em all 4 love 🙂
— dadmissions (@Dadmissions) October 9, 2014
22. They stayed:
@iproposethis @HGrayLICSW I stayed. — Brooks Martin (@mayoknave) October 7, 2014
@HGrayLICSW @GoodMenProject stayed
— Raj Takhar (@takhar_) October 6, 2014
23. Lived in places they’ve hated:
@jadabradley @GoodMenProject @HGrayLICSW Lived in a state that I hated. Stayed at a college I wanted to transfer from. — Nickolas Gaines (@iamnickgaines) October 7, 2014
@jadabradley @GoodMenProject @HGrayLICSW Best part of the story is that is my wife. We’ve been married for 8 years. She was worth it.
— Nickolas Gaines (@iamnickgaines) October 7, 2014
24. They’ve moved: “What I did for love. My wife at the time, was accepted to grad school at a couple of top universities but wanted to study with a particular researcher who worked at a less prestigious school. I had been accepted to two first tier universities BUT, as I had the choice of where to attend for our undergraduate studies, she had the choice for grad school. I was seriously tempted to study at my first choice BUT, I wanted more to be with my partner. So, I went to the school that she choose. Things we do for love. (P.S. Loved the university and ended up doing a PhD there).”-Steven Lake, The Relationship Guy
@HGrayLICSW lft career & house.Moved to other state with only what cld be carried. No regrets! Married wonderful woman! — Andy (@StjamesAndy) October 7, 2014
25. They’ve kept the peace with humor:
@jadabradley @GoodMenProject @HGrayLICSW I said, ‘Yes dear.’
— RJ (@RJHimself) October 7, 2014
26. They’ve been unforgettable: “This is one of the best things someone has ever done for me. I met this guy in New York City about a week before this happened. He was a Marine stationed in Camp Lejuene, NC and after we met he had to go back to post, but said he was going to drive up to see me off for this vacation I had scheduled. I didn’t believe him, but he did. He drove up from North Carolina 16 hours just to drop me off to the airport. He took me to the airport, waited for me to check all the bags, and then stood there until I was able to get another flight, since the one I was scheduled to take had been canceled for some reason.”-LaShawn Pagan,Filmmaker, Forced Into Silence
@gender_rebel @HGrayLICSW ex was late to my show so waited in the pissing rain for an hour because he knew I wouldnt believe he’d tried. — Tutku Barbaros (@tutkubarbaros) October 7, 2014
27. Have remained unsung:
@HGrayLICSW @GoodMenProject I want to ask my husband every time I see this, but I know he’d just say IDK or nothing. His heart is shy.
— KelG (@ticinmymind) October 10, 2014
28. Have done the work and stayed present: “Over the last few months I have discovered that my capacity to show-up in relationship is not as potent as I want. My lover has asked me to face some deeper fears and acknowledge some vulnerable places. It has been a hard process to both admit that I lack a willingness to be vulnerable and to actually face those vulnerable parts of myself. I’m slowly moving into it. Slowly showing the woman I love that I can face my fears. Her love is helping to make it possible.”- Bryce Mathern, Brass Balls, Tender Heart
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Guys, tell us what you’ve done for love!
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I moved halfway across the country to be with her.
I let her gently go when she sincerely felt that was what she needed, despite everything inside screaming, begging, resistance. When my first love (and lover) finally summoned the courage to say she thought it best we just be friends, I knew It was impossible to stop loving her, but that I could at least, in every way life allowed me, keep expressing my love as blessing and supporting her highest good and happiness in whatever form she truly needed that to take. I simply, selfishly even, couldn’t bear the thought of her life being anything less than her greatest… Read more »
I married a woman with three children in a ramshackle house. I learned how to fix it up, and now I am a contractor.
He apparently fell in love with me 12 years ago, but I was married. When he found out 5 years ago that I was divorced, he found me. He said he never let himself become attached to any other woman because he was waiting for me…we are married now & he is the love of my life. He said he always knew that we would wind up together.
Wow! I’m amazed at the lengths that people will go to. I admire you all for the strength, trust and care you show. In the future, I look forward to sharing my story. It’s unwritten at this stage, and I know in my heart it will take shape.
Married and had children with the woman I loved, who had a terminal illness and wasn’t going to be there to see them grow up. She died when they were 2 and 3 mos. respectively, and I’ve raised them solo since, I gave her the family she always wanted and the unconditional love she needed, though she only got to experience it for a short time. Still, it was – according to her – the greatest gifts I could have given her and I am grateful she allowed me to give it to her.
I gave up everything that discomforted Him. That made Him insecure. He had issues like possessiveness. The best I could do was love Him through anything. And that’s all I did. Fulfilled all His wishes thinking they would somehow assure Him that I’m all His. But things went bad. I ended up alone in my world. A lot of complications followed.
I am still waiting for Him to come back someday. My world is still what He left it like. Only me and Him.
So yes, I’m waiting. Against all logic. For Love.
I left a well paid software developer role which I loved to become a poorly paid IT Manger at a private school, I got a 75% bursary as part of my pay deal so I could afford to send my son there and give him the best possible start in life.
He learned to talk Spanish just for me ❤️ (he’s Austrian, I’m Mexican)
Girls can do this too right?
I left him, so he could grow on his own. He got stuck in the comfort of our relationship. To this day I still got contact with his mother and sister, and they say it was the best think that could have happen. Not that they didn’t love me, but because he needed it.
Left a great paying job and the country I grew up in to move 5,000 miles to a place I really knew nothing about. Started awful, got worse, ruined our relationship. (not the only reason I know, but it was a major factor.) Now, before people start feeling sorry for me, this process sent me deep down and led me on a path where I took responsibility for growing, learning and becoming a man I am proud to be, a father my kids love to be around and a person who knows the growing will never stop. Relationships with other… Read more »
Well over a year ago, I uprooted from where I lived for almost 20yrs and had a good steady job I worked at for close to 5yrs to move 6 states away from close friends to give it all up for a love I embarked on to be near to her and leave a unhappy situation I was in at the time… and its been a rollercoaster of falling in love, out and then repeat again… basically we re-united to be with each other since we had gone through our lives and first encountering when she was 17 and me… Read more »
I left my family, a college education, and a beautiful environment.
Left my job as Architecture Design Director living in my hometown and moved to Tulum, just to find out the woman I loved secretly for a few years started dating another guy the same day I arrived. And then she dated another and another…. Sometimes we can do stupid things for love.
My better half encouraged me to move away [all the way to China] for my personal fulfillment, and then came to join me. He then found a job in another city in China, and we moved again. Still together. Still learning. Still loving.
Forgave her for leaving, I still Love her. Crazy right!
Nope. Not crazy. Love.
1. I met a girl in my mid-teens (way before the time of cell phones). I got her name but not her number. So I got a phonebook and called every 25 or so number that matched her family name. Talked to quite a few stern fathers and nosey siblings, but finally I found her.
2. After a year in a long-distance relationship, I quit my job, left my friends and family, and moved cross-country (not that big of a country, but 400 km still) to be with HER.
(Didn’t work out.)
Kal, I’m still hoping you’ll write for us someday. Thanks for sharing.
You’re just too kind to me, Heather. I feel embaressed.
I wouldn’t have a clue what to write coherently about.
Email me: [email protected] and I’ll help you figure it out.
I told my wife that she could go have a fling in an attempt to be forgiven for me having a one-night stand. She did, and fell in love, and insisted we try polyamory. We did. It was terrible for me, but I withstood the storm, which took over two years to clear, and we are together and on a bright new path.
What a journey you’ve been on. Let me know if you’d ever want to write about it.
I’ve taken her to breast cancer therapy. (without good outcome)..
Tommy
This is a sad one. Thank you for sharing.
16 & 28. I got me some learnin’ to do.
We all do!