That one moment when you realize how important your choices are – and who is watching you make them.
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Sometimes it’s the smallest things that change our lives forever. Darn kids. How dare they change my life? I was fine with the way it was.
When I was 18 years old, fresh off of probation for breaking and entering, something happened that would define the man I would become. My niece was coming to stay with me and my mother for the summer and while my mom was looking for a summer camp for my niece to attend she also found a job for me as a youth counselor. It was there I first realized something … I needed to grow up.
It was that summer I noticed that people looked up to me, and at the time I didn’t like what I was showing them. It was one word that brought this realization to the front of my mind.
At that point I was faced with one of the biggest dilemmas of my young life. How do I correct a child for doing something that he saw me do?
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While playing a game of basketball with the kids, one of the little boogers tripped me when I tried to go Michael Jordan on him. As I hit the ground all I remember thinking was, “Oh Shit”. Apparently, though I don’t recall clearly, the words came out of my mouth, because the next thing I hear is one of the kids saying, “OOOOOOOOO Mr. Chevy said a bad word!”
I did what any 18 year old in my situation would do. I shushed the boy and tried to start the game as quickly as I could before I got in trouble. It wasn’t until a few days later that I realized the significance of the event. While playing freeze tag the boy who tried to announce to the world my bad word was tagged in the back and hit the ground hard. Do you know what he said then? You guessed it. “Shit!”
At that point I was faced with one of the biggest dilemmas of my young life. How do I correct a child for doing something that he saw me do? I would have preferred to just let it go, but the other kids were instigating more trouble by saying “OOOOOOOOOO!” (Where did they learn that anyway? And why can’t they just mind their own business?) I had to step in before another teacher came over and the little boy told them where picked up that word.
I didn’t want them to learn bad words, I wanted to teach them kindness, love, self esteem, determination, humility and growth.
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So I pulled him aside gave him the talk about why we can’t use those words. Of course his response was, “But you did.” Then and there I had to apologize to the kid and say that I was wrong and that we both needed to do better. That was the first time I had to apologize to a child and you know what? It sucked! I realized then that for whatever reason (maybe my natural awesomeness or maybe just because I am taller than them) kids looked up to me and would do what they see me do. Now it was time to think about the example I wanted to set for them. I didn’t want them to learn bad words, I wanted to teach them kindness, love, self esteem, determination, humility and growth.
Since then many kids have come under my care and I am confident that I have learned to set a much better example. I will continue to grow, because I have come too far to only come this far. The kids today need us. They need us to be aware of the example that we set for them and give them something to look up to. I have my own four month old daughter now who often looks up at me with eyes like mine as if to say, “Do you know what you’re doing?” I just hope I give her something worth looking up to.
What is a 21st century hero? Being an engaged and present dad. And we love to show how great dads are. Want more like this? Sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter here.
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Photo: Flickr/Camera Eye Photography