In your darkest hour, your guiding light won’t always be a romantic partner.
So there is this idea that a man and a woman can just never be friends. They can never just enjoy each others company, or go have a good time together, or simply support each other. No there always has to be some sort of meta game at hand where one (the stereotype usually points at the guy for this) trying to get into the other one’s pants.
I’ve got a slightly over ten year old friendship that says otherwise.
It was my second year of college and I was about to start my first real job, working at a Spencer Gifts. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. Quirky little stores that sell horror movie figures, posters of nearly nude people, drug and alcohol related items, and the occasional starter level sex toy (seriously unless you want to try your first sex toy on the cheap or need a gag gift don’t buy the stuff there). But who knew one of the greatest gifts I had ever received would not be an item from that shop, but a coworker by the name of Mel?
If a punk rocker, a drag king, a drag queen, and a goth chick could somehow come together and create a child it would be her. Being something of a loner and having an appearance that most others would call freakish she didn’t have a lot of friends and wasn’t all that social. Those other people are really missing out. I no longer recall who made first contact but I’m glad it was made. She may not have been very social but once you got to know her she was just plain awesome.
I remember the first Halloween we worked in that shop together. In my efforts to try something different she volunteered to do a makeup job for me. Pulling out her tackle box of makeup (yes she kept her make up in a tackle box), and working her skills she laid a silver spiderweb over my left eye that you would not believe.
It’s her I have to thank for first hearing Anders Manga, getting in touch with my inner goth, and what I’ll just call “learning how to be naughty.”
I could continue taking you down memory lane but I won’t bore you with the trip.
She’s also been there to hear me out in my times of need. When I had no one else to turn to, I knew I could turn to her. She is not big on advice but she is a comforting presence that radiates even over the phone when we talk on the phone (the shortest phone call I’ve had with her is like 2 hr.) For the last several years we’ve lived a few hundred miles apart but we kept in touch. Now that I’ve moved and we’re a lot closer I will make the most of it. Getting back on topic, through all the ups, downs, and all arounds there is one thing that has never happened.
I’ve never even so much as thought about trying to make our friendship anything more than platonic. I really have no explanation for it but in this day and age where its presumed that a guy can’t be a close friend to a woman without being all about the nookie I know that that presumption is nonsense (at least for me it is).
All good things must come to an end and I have to say that that when this good thing comes to an end my world will be wrecked. But I’m going to enjoy my good times with Mel while they last.
(Oh and she got me into Voltaire.)