Why would a men’s organization support International Women’s Day? Do you really have to ask?
Today is International Women’s Day, one of those vague awareness-raising events that helps keep important issues in people’s minds. Some would say it’s silly for the Good Men Project to celebrate it, focused as we are on men and men’s issues, but that just betrays limited thinking. Specifically, it betrays the all-too-common kind of thinking that imagines gender as a zero-sum game, the notion that men and women are in competition with each other for… what? Dominance? Victim status? Control of the pop charts?
The truth is, we are all in this together. International Women’s Day is not about raising women up or casting men down; it is about liberation, liberation toward the goal of equality. And the thing about liberation is that it’s unlimited, and it spreads. The more free women are to choose their own lives, the more free men are to do the same. The less restrictive female gender roles become, the less restrictive their Ozy’s Law male counterparts become. It’s an imperfect process, working slowly and unevenly, hitching forward in fits and starts, but it works, and it is helping all of us.
That’s why I have no patience for those who grouse “How come there’s no International Men’s Day?” or all the similar complaints one hears. Those who complain about that have shown that they don’t actually care about the historical reasons that liberation movements take the shapes they do; they’re just afraid that the Other Side will win.
The truth is, when it comes to gender liberation, there are no sides and there is no victory, because a winner implies a loser, and there is no loser when liberation spreads to all. No matter who you are or what you represent, if you’re trying to win at gender, to triumph over the Other Side, you have already failed.
So long as International Women’s Day is advancing that cause of equality, it deserves the support and pride of every one of us.
Photo—Alex E. Proimos/Flickr
“That’s why I have no patience for those who grouse “How come there’s no International Men’s Day?” or all the similar complaints one hears. Those who complain about that have shown that they don’t actually care about the historical reasons that liberation movements take the shapes they do; they’re just afraid that the Other Side will win.” Since my other comment disappeared…Why do you have no patience for them? Do you not understand men’s issues are largely ignored? Do you not realize that most feminists and other gender equality people even do not understand the level of sexual and domestic… Read more »
Now we just need the White History Month and the Straight Rights movement day. 🙂
Let me just say thank you for writing this; the point of International Women’s Day seems to be entirely lost on the vast majority of the population. I believe the point of it is to value and appreciate women; to see them as people, and to appreciate what they do and how they feel. To me, more specifically, International Women’s Day means a day of not hearing any “Why are you talking and not cooking? Why aren’t you in the kitchen? So the other 364 days belong to men then, right? Hahaha!” jokes for 24 hours. Sadly, that didn’t happen… Read more »
In a lot of ways, liberation as it is called, is a zero sum game, because ALOT of it means “who gets the money”. Think health care, think ‘free lawyers’ for family court, think adoption , think custody. Who pays and who gets the money…..
Two women leaders that deserve respect are Golda Meir and Harriet Tubman. These two women were able to unite men and women for the greater good, and not favor one gender over the other in order to accomplish their mission. These types of women should be celebrated; it’s some of the other voices of change that discredit the women’s empowerment movement. In the process of establishing equal footing, we have liberated many women from their gender identity, not just their gender roles. Many men have been liberated from their gender identity too, not just their roles. Like Noah mentioned, “The… Read more »
That was random, but I see what you did there. Harriet Tubman deserves our respect, but not Golda Meir. Golda Meir was an imperialist who as an accomplice in stealing a country, sought to brutalise and unjustly deny any rights to an indigenous people in the land of their birth, the Palestinians. These are hardly the behaviours of an admirable person, unless you are a Zionist in the worst sense of the term, much less someone able to unite men and women for the greater good.
For the record, there is an International Men’s Day. It is November 19, and been celebrated since 1999. Ironically, Justin Cascio wrote about it for this magazine last year, so it is odd that Brand appears not to know of it.
As for GMP mentioning International Women’s Day, it seems logical given the magazine’s political lean. More surprising was Cascio’s piece, not this one, although it is curious that this piece is more of a defense against talking about men’s issues. One would think it smarter to actually discuss the reasons for celebrating International Women’s Day.
“How come there’s no International Men’s Day?” You are right. It is not about “winning.” It is expressing not wanting to have your problems ignored as a man, in form and fashion. It may seem like a competition when really many people are on a different page of the same book. Men just want their problems recognized and addressed which doesn’t happen when instead of focusing on boys we start focusing on girls. You end up with problems like we are currently seeing in grade schools with boys. We need the visibility that feminism has provided for women’s issues, for… Read more »
Ah, that’s so sweet that women get a whole day every year. A very nice little pat on the head. At the stroke of midnight at the end of the day we can just ignore them, right? Sorry, I’m not listening to you, dear, you already had your day back in March. Wait till next year, I’ll pay attention then. : – )
Nah, women are ignored even on their Internarional Day, as we can see.
“The more free women are to choose their own lives, the more free men are to do the same. The less restrictive female gender roles become, the less restrictive their Ozy’s Law male counterparts become. It’s an imperfect process, working slowly and unevenly, hitching forward in fits and starts, but it works, and it is helping all of us.” I disagree. Not that I think women’s liberation harms men. I think they are two separate and distinct situations. I think there is a lot more respect and many more protections for women in the workplace than there are for men… Read more »
John, please take a second to realize that until recently, women didn’t even have a choice when it came to staying home to look after the kids or going to work. We. Had. No. Choice. It was decided for us by men and society. So why are you complaining that we’re now given the option to do what we want with our lives, opinions and desires? It’s not “What we say goes”, it’s the option to be able to compromise with our husbands/boyfriends/partners on how the family dynamic will work, since it’s now not already decided for us. In reality,… Read more »
I don’t think you’ll hear many argue that women have not been subjugated in the past. You won’t even hear people argue that the liberation of women has not benefited men depending on what form the liberation has taken, but this article suggests that men’s injustices will be corrected by correcting injustices to women. That’s nor always true.
The premise of the article is that international men’s day is unneeded. Why do people believe that the only way to correct injustice against women is to ignore injustice against men?
So judging by your first comment then, in saying that these injustices to men are not getting the same rights as the mothers in family court as well as “getting what the women don’t want”, you’d prefer that the world go back to letting men call all the shots and being in total control of the children? Which then leaves women with what, absolutely nothing at all? Please don’t pretend like injustices to men are so much worse than to women. Don’t even try. Men still essentially rule the world, call the shots, and the misogynistic ones are at the… Read more »
You’re projecting here. He’s simply saying that any injustices (in this case against men, but the principle would apply to any demographic) should be dealt with directly and not solely through the strategy of helping women or only until all injustices against women have been resolved. How could any reasonable person disagree with this? If you want to play the victim Olympics game, in Western democracies white women are the second most privileged group after white men, so maybe we should focus on all other disadvantaged groups before we get around to the two groups at the top, no? This… Read more »
And yet another prime example of someone telling women their opinions about their status are irrelevant. Thanks!
I see you prefer to evade and obfuscate when you don’t have an argument and know you are wrong, too each their own.
No, I prefer not to argue with someone who clearly doesn’t care what I have to say or what I’m fighting for.
So you’re telepathic too?
Well you seem to have no problems telling me that very same thing and I’m supposed to be the privileged one.
“Please don’t pretend like injustices to men are so much worse than to women. Don’t even try. Men still essentially rule the world, call the shots, and the misogynistic ones are at the root of women still not getting paid as much as men in the workplace. You can’t expect to get all or nothing.” Wowzers, Strawman! “And yet another prime example of someone telling women their opinions about their status are irrelevant. Thanks!” Holy strawman batman. “No, I prefer not to argue with someone who clearly doesn’t care what I have to say or what I’m fighting for.” And… Read more »
“you’d prefer that the world go back to letting men call all the shots and being in total control of the children?” No, I’d prefer that they each had an equal opportunity to seek what makes them happy. It’s funny how things become a zero sum game when women feel they’re about to lose something. What state requires a father relinquish his rights to a child before an adoption proceeds? States accept a woman’s word on who the father (or possible fathers) is rather than requiring a paternity test. If a father doesn’t contest within a certain amount of time,… Read more »
Ok, so what exactly is your end point here, that it’s pointless to celebrate a day for women because men are so hard done by? Should we scrap International Women’s Day because women have had to fight harder for equality than men have for centuries just because in a few instances men aren’t receiving the same respect or equality they want?
My point is that we should fight injustice against everyone. If international women’s day focuses people on the status of women and ultimately leads to bettering their lives. That’s great, let’s celebrate international women’s day. No one had a problem with Noah writing about international women’s day. Most guys on this site support women’s rights and equality. The problem occurs when people suggest that there are no injustices committed against men and all we have to do is correct injustice against women and all will be fine. No one is disagreeing with you that injustices against women are severe and… Read more »
“In reality, women’s equality DOES help men. It gives men a choice too. Men have had equality for centuries, if not millennia.” Thanks for the laugh. I didn’t realize men could choose to be stay at home parents and have someone else pay their way. I didn’t realize men could say nah sorry, don’t wanna fight your war. I think you’re overestimating men’s choices, neither gender had much choice, both had heavy expectations thrown on them. Women expected to care for kids, men expected to die for their country, protect their women n kids, make the money. Most men n… Read more »
Men could stay unmarried if they wanted; women had to be financially dependent. Men could not be stay at home parents and have someone else pay their way because women were not allowed to go outside and work (and because men could not marry other men). So yes, women having the choice to work brings the choice for men to be stay at home dads. Is that funny for you, why? Men have always had more rights, and their right came much before women’s rights. Even the right to be seen as a person and not just a propriety like… Read more »