After 15 months of dating, everything seemed to be falling into place — or so she thought. They had discussed a future together, and she had started the slow process of moving into his home. But one decision changed everything: she extended her apartment lease.
He called it betrayal. To him, he could even say infidelity. She could not understand how much he hated it. For him, it seemed to mean something more, a deeper problem in a marriage — the lack of trust and even hesitation about letting go of his life entirely.
The truth was messy. He was 33, going through a messy divorce, and co-parenting his 3-year-old son. His home was full of reminders of his previous life, from family photos to the visits from his ex-in-laws. He wanted stability, a partner who could step into his world seamlessly. She, at 30, wasn’t quite there yet.
Her apartment was a haven. It was her retreat from tantrums and constant familial duties. She needed a space absolutely hers, a place she could breathe, think, process the enormity of changes happening around her.
She had previously mentioned this extension idea, but he pushed the idea aside, terming it impractical and unnecessary. Her decision to carry through it without consulting him became for him an act of defiance. For her, however, it was self-preservation.
Now, she had to face the consequences. Was she wrong to take charge of a relationship that thrived on give-and-take? Or was his reaction all about his own unresolved insecurities and not much to do with her decisions?
She packed up and found herself between two worlds, unable to help but ask herself whether love was ever losing a piece of you or finding the right partner who understood that you needed to hold on.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
Does dating ever feel challenging, awkward or frustrating?
Turn Your Dating Life into a WOW! with our new classes and live coaching.
Click here for more info or to buy with special launch pricing!
***
—–
Photo credit: Sable Flow on Unsplash
