Can we all agree that no one should settle when looking for love?
Single people who refuse to settle are completely justified when rejecting dates who don’t measure up. Labeling them as “too picky” is not only unfair — it’s missing the point entirely.
As a single woman navigating the dating world, I completely understand why educated, interesting, successful women opt out of dating underqualified men. There’s nothing wrong with sidestepping these men as we continue on our search for love. Sure, these guys complain about it, but let’s be honest — we’ve stopped caring.
But let’s take a step back and consider the big picture for a minute. With so few decent options, more and more women are flat-out refusing to date at all. Many are saying the same thing — there aren’t enough qualified men to put forth the effort.
Ladies, I’d like to respectfully disagree.
Yes, I’ll admit there are a lot of amazing single women out there, and the dating pool serves up too many subpar men. But there’s a group of highly qualified men who have a lot to offer that are often overlooked.
Software Developers == Hidden Treasure
These men often fly under the radar, unlike their less impressive, underqualified brothers. They’re not hanging out in sports bars, flooding dating apps with shirtless selfies, or joining pub crawls and pickleball tournaments. They tend to be more low-key and focused on things that are more fulfilling.
As a woman in tech, I’ve worked alongside these hidden gems for many years, and let me tell you, software developers might just be the best partners you didn’t know you were looking for.
Because?
1. Programmers are the smartest guys around.
To become a successful software engineer, it takes brains. They spend their days solving complex problems as they crank out code. It’s like a grey matter workout every day. Their brains are ripped.
Whether you love having in-depth conversations or just want a smarty-pants by your side, these guys deliver. Every single time.
2. They’ll crack you up.
These guys have a killer sense of humor. They’re satirical, sarcastic, and sometimes downright deadpan. Because they’re smart, educated, and well-read, they’re quick-witted and hilarious.
They probably won’t laugh at their own jokes — or even crack a smile — but their quips will have you rolling.
“My love language? It’s being the little spoon.”
3. Their appeal is more than skin-deep.
Programmers aren’t superficial. Sure, they’ll ogle at a beautiful woman just like the next guy, but they’re looking for more than a candy-coated exterior. They’re educated, analytical, and pragmatic, and they want someone who can hold their own in a conversation and keep them guessing.
They won’t focus on your appearance as much as they’ll focus on your personality, intellect, and character. Your first date with a software guy? He’ll want to get to know the real you.
4. They’re all ears.
Coders make great listeners. While most guys zone out faster than the length of a TikTok, a software guy will give you his full attention from start to finish.
Patience and attention to detail are baked into his DNA. Those same qualities make him not just a great coder but an even better boyfriend.
5. You’ll have 24/7 tech support.
Need help setting up your Wi-Fi? Dealing with a glitchy computer? These guys are tech wizards. They love technology and are great at setting up new hardware and troubleshooting software glitches.
When you’re with a techie, you’ll be his VIP, and you’ll never have to call tech support again.
6. They won’t mooch off you.
Software engineering is one of the highest-paid professions in tech, and for good reason — it takes brains, experience, and dedication to master.
These guys are financially secure, so you won’t have to worry about them skipping out on a dinner check or expecting you to bankroll your next vacation. They’ll always meet you halfway.
7. They are some of the most interesting guys you’ll find.
Forget the old stereotype of programmers as Red Bull-fueled, Star Wars-obsessed Comic-Con attendees. While some might fit that mold, most have varied and eclectic hobbies.
From cooking to music to photography, these guys dive headfirst into hobbies that grab their interest. You’ll have a great partner who brings fun and excitement.
8. They won’t hog the remote during football season.
Most software guys aren’t die-hard sports fans. While they might follow a team or two, you won’t catch them planning their weekends around the next big game.
If you’re used to dating sports-obsessed guys, get ready to enjoy Sunday nights your way. With the remote in hand, you can enjoy a perfect night in together watching movies and cuddling on the couch.
9. Not just another gym rat.
I gotta be honest, when swiping on dating apps, the last thing I want to see is another sweaty gym selfie. Sure, muscles are sexy, but endless talk about carbs, protein shakes, and deadlifts? Not so much.
Software guys, on the other hand, aren’t flexing in every mirror or chasing reps — they’re authentic, passionate, and getting pumped about things that truly matter. With this guy, you get a partner of substance who wants to build more than just his muscles.
10. They’re built to weather the storm.
Software engineers are shining examples of resilience. Their daily grind involves solving difficult problems, working through endless errors, and sticking with it until they find a solution. They simply don’t give up.
When it comes to relationships, they bring that same mindset. They’re patient and determined and won’t crumble under the pressure as they work with you to find solutions for whatever comes your way.
Don’t overlook these guys, they’re Pure Gold.
I could go on and on about how great these guys are. Honestly, I could easily give you ten more reasons to date them. The point is, there are incredible men out there, and programmers are among the best. But if you don’t give them a chance, you might miss out.
Because at the end of the day, finding someone who truly listens, cares, and grows with you is what we’re all hoping for — and this time, you won’t have to settle.
—
This post was previously published on Long. Sweet. Valuable.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
 |
 |
 |
 The Reality All Women Experience (that Men Don’t Know About) |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: iStock
