No, Divorce Doesn’t Come Out of Thin Air

“Divorce is a 50-50 thing, and it can be a number of petty things that finally drive you out of your mind.” Lee Radziwell

To paraphrase Dr. Phil, don’t you just hate it when you’re living your life, providing for your family, handling day-to-day activities, when your wife “suddenly” asks for a divorce?

That. Never. Happens.

No one wakes up one morning and suddenly decides to end their marriage.

It’s as much of a myth as the one that says frogs will stay in a gradually heating pot of water.

Because there are always warning signs.

Signs like your wife:

• Being “tired”—sometimes for months or years
• Nagging you about something you promised to do again and again
• Avoiding physical contact with you
• Spending her time on social media, binge watching TV, reading romance novels
• Having time for everyone but you
• No longer sharing about her day or her feelings

Unfortunately, these things often get ignored or minimized.

Because her feelings don’t match yours.

Because, in your view, “things aren’t that bad”.

My question is how bad do they have to get before you take action?

Waiting until divorce is on the table is too late.

Yes, she has ownership in what your marriage looks like. And, yes, she may not handle things well either.

But, if you’re honest, you know that doesn’t let you off the hook for your part in the marriage.

Because over 70% of couples report not understanding the realities or stages of marriage.

And women initiate 67-90% of all divorces.

It’s not even a good sign if she stops talking about what she thinks is wrong with the marriage.

Unless you know—really know—that all relationship issues have been successfully addressed, she has likely gone underground to plan her exit.

Things will seem to have stabilized so you convince yourself all is okay. Only to be caught off guard when she implements her plan.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can turn things around if you want to avoid a nasty “divorce surprise”.

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Previously Published on The Hero Husband Project and is republished on Medium.

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