“I have nothing to explain. As for being misunderstood, I have grown accustomed to that.”
- Fan Bingbing
Personally, I’m not particularly accustomed to being misunderstood…but I’m getting there.
Have you ever had someone make a casual remark to you—about you—that was so over-the-top wrong that you almost had to laugh at being so misunderstood?
That happened to me a few weeks ago. And I’ve found myself thinking about it fairly often since then, so I figured I’d write a blog about it…because I suspect the subject matter—getting distracted—is of interest to a great many people.
We live in a world so full of distractions, it’s not even funny.
Here’s what happened what a few weeks ago:
I was at home, getting ready to leave the next day for a three-week long trip—part work; part traveling. I had worked really hard in the month leading up to the trip, getting done all the work that needed to get done before leaving…the business work and the home & garden work. My focus had been insanely good! It had to be…I had an incredible amount of tasks to get done and no one else was going to do them. So I did them. Or most of them, anyway…but I certainly tried my best.
Anyway, it was mid-afternoon and I was just finishing up the last few administrative tasks, packing, watering the garden one last time, etc. I was feeling a bit stressed because I was anxious about a big work event the next week…I was prepared for it but still nervous. But more than anything, I was really proud of myself for having the courage to go far outside my comfort zone and participate in the event in the first place. Preparing for it was a staggering amount of work. But well worth it.
Then my doorbell rang. That’s odd, I thought. All my friends knew I was leaving the next day and would be busy getting ready. But who else could it be?
I opened the door and standing there was a good friend of mine—whom I had traveled with recently for an entire month. She, more than anyone, knew how insanely disciplined, focused and organized I was at being able to still work while traveling and seeing new countries. At least I thought she did.
“Hi!” I said, puzzled as to why she’d be dropping by, unannounced in the middle of my work day.
“Hi,” she said. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Of course I am,” I said, again puzzled. Why wouldn’t I be?
“Good!” she said, brushing past me and walking into my living room. “I just wanted to see how you were doing…getting ready for work next week and your trip?”
“I’m in really good shape,” I said. “I mean, there’s been an awful lot to do but I’m ready to roll!”
To this she nodded and then said something to the effect of: “Well, I just wanted to make sure you were staying on track…because I know how distracted you get.”
I think my jaw might have literally dropped. I didn’t know what to say. I mean, I could have said the obvious: “The only thing that’s distracting me is YOU!”
But that would be rude, so I didn’t. Instead, I just stood there, blinking like an idiot.
Did she honestly see me as a person who gets easily distracted?
I’d just spent a month with her…she saw with her own eyes how I got up at 4 am most mornings and worked for 7 or 8 hours so that I could enjoy the afternoons—with her—exploring whatever country we were in.
In other words, I certainly don’t see myself as someone who gets easily distracted. In fact, I would say I have obsessive-like focus, when it comes to work and life. I get stuff done. I don’t even look at my phone—the biggest distraction of all—until half way through my morning. Same with e-mail.
Yes, the nature of my work requires me to constantly juggle multiple projects…but in order to do that effectively, I have to have insanely good focus on whatever task I am doing at any given time.
And yet, after my rather rude friend left (which she thankfully did shortly after delivering her snarky comment), I couldn’t help but wonder if a) there was an element to truth to her comment and perhaps I wasn’t being completely honest with myself? or; b) it was one of those weird moments in life when someone says something so off-the-mark that it makes you stop a moment and reflect?
So I did…and this is what I came up: how could someone who has known me for years and traveled with me for an entire month come to the conclusion that “I got distracted easily?”
How could I be so misunderstood?
But you know what? It doesn’t matter how she came to that conclusion. Nor does it matter that that’s her opinion of me. That’s her business, not mine. What matters is that, upon reflection, I know for a fact that her snarky comment is not true. I am not a person who gets easily distracted—simply because I have put an awful lot of time and energy over the years into creating habits that ensure I don’t get distracted.
Interestingly, however, I am still finding her comment to be of use—because now, whenever I’m tired and tempted to allow myself to be distracted from the task I am doing, I hear her snarky comment in my head. And let me tell you, I get right back on track, lickety-split! Or…I shut down my computer for the day, realizing that if I am allowing myself to be distracted, then my work day is probably done.
How about you?
Would you say you get distracted easily? Or do you have excellent focus? Have you ever had a friend say something rather rude—and wrong—to you? How did you react? Was there an element of truth in it?
Also of interest…
This particular friend had another doozy of a comment/question for me (about failure) that I blogged about in a recent Good Men Project blog: Are You Careful About Who You Surround Yourself With?.
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