19 Best Dad Tweets of This Week

What fathers had to say on Twitter this week.

Hilarious, ironic, charming, moving tweets from fathers. Here’s what has been said about fatherhood’s fantastic adventure this week.

 

Being a #3yo is wanting a hard boiled egg, and at the same time, not wanting it boiled. Hating it being boiled! And then you cry. #childhood

— Michael Schmidt (@IowaSchmidt) 24 Juin 2014

Only taken Suarez three days to come up with an excuse slightly less plausible than when my 5yo told me teddy had drawn all over the wall. — tom jamieson (@jamiesont) 28 Juin 2014

*4yo standing in front of TV Me: You know, you make a better door than a window. Transformation into my father = complete

— Hunter Steele (@FatherWithTwins) 28 Juin 2014

My 3yo got an award for “being inquisitive” & if his teacher thinks I don’t know a euphemism for “annoying” when I see one she is MISTAKEN. — Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) 25 Juin 2014

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I have enormous respect for the 4yo’s ability to deny doing something while she’s standing right in front of you STILL DOING IT.

— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) 24 Juin 2014

4yo “nanny! Daddy has cut his thumb off and now he’s grown it back!” Cos magic. — Odd Thomas (@tomw1984) 21 Juin 2014

Current status: Getting my eyebrows “waxed” with scotch tape because my 4yo won’t take no for an answer.

— Just Brett (@DreamHostBrett) 29 Juin 2014

Rat under the house downgraded to mice (saw one in the kitchen). So I bravely crawled in to lay bait, with only 5yo daughter for protection. — Richard Harrison (@rdhn) 28 Juin 2014

My 4yo hasn’t stopped talking for 1,381 hours.

— Drew (@DrewExists) 28 Juin 2014

ME: Did you brush your teeth? 4yo: Yes! ME: Promise? 4yo: Yes. But I’ll do it again. *caught in a lie — Jeff Wild (@jiffywild) 19 Juin 2014

4yo: What happened to the fish? Me: It drowned. 4yo: … Me: … 4yo: … Me: … 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish. ~ @One_FineMess

— Jeff Faria (@PatriotsOfMars) 17 Juin 2014

4yo: “Catched one!” Me: “Nope. Try again.” 4yo: “Caughted one.” Me: “Keep trying.” 4yo: “I don’t like fish.” — b*town (@sugarboyfly) 13 Juin 2014

3yo: “Daddy” Me: “what” 3yo: “you mean pardon” Me: “pardon” 3yo: “you mean pardon” Me: “I said pardon” 3yo: “what?” Glad we cleared that up.

— Mark, Sonny, & Luca (@sonnyandluca) 14 Juin 2014

Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 5yo: .. Me: .. 5yo: .. Me: .. 5yo: I don’t have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough. — Kristján. (@Beau_Ruga) 29 Juin 2014

Me: Have a cookie! 5yo: Before lunch? Me: Life’s short. Dessert first! 5yo: I’ll save it for afters. Me: Whose child is this? o.O

— Aaron Sikes (@SikesAaron) 23 Juin 2014

5yo: Dad, when can I get a pet Dragon? Me: You know Dragons aren’t real, right? 5yo: What’s that got to do with anything!? — tchrquotes (@tchrquotes) 23 Juin 2014

6yo: Daddy, come and look at mummy’s new fingering Me: WHAT?! 6yo: She’s upstairs playing with it Me: Millie, it’s a finger ring. Two words.

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— Will (@thecrabbyhook) 26 Juin 2014

“Did you just say spiders have wings? Are you drunk??” – 6yo to grandma I’ll discipline her about the disrespect after I stop cry-laughing. — Noah Gray (@noahWG) 20 Juin 2014  Mommy: *gets off the phone* Ugh, I sounded like a douche. 4yo: What’s a douche? Mommy: Nothing Me: I gotta go to work. 4yo: Goodbye douche! — Hunter Steele (@FatherWithTwins) 28 Juin 2014

Want more ? See Last week’s best dad tweets.

Photo credit : Flickr/JennDurfey