“There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.” —Freya Stark
- Boys play house. Men build homes, or will create feelings of stability and security wherever in the world you may travel together.
- Boys shack up. Men choose marriage, or consciously honor the commitment of a divine partnership if together you don’t share the belief of marriage.
- Boys make babies, but won’t raise children. A man will raise children including another man’s child, not out of requirement or obligation, but because he loves and honors the younger generation.
- Boys produce excuses and create failure. Men produce strategies and create success.
- Boys search for a caretaker to manage all their needs. Men practice self-love and self-care, knowing that when they take care of themselves first they can create a healthy, loving relationship with another.
- Boys seek popularity. Men earn respect and give it back doubly in return.
- Boys quit and walk away when times are hard. Men will love you through everything, especially when times are hard.
- Boys look for just another beautiful face. Men only set their sights on the real women fully ready to embrace them and hold space for their hearts with the same honor, respect and dignity that he lovingly gives to you.
It’s best never to begin a relationship with a boy expecting to transform him into a man.
Photo/Pixabay
Hey, Jared,
Great article! I appreciate the info and tips.
I’m a shocked at the backlash you’ve received on this. The uplifting of women does not mean the demoralization of men. Maybe the ones who disagree with you will one day understand this.
Namaste’, my Brother.
Great article Jared!
Hey – Jared,
I am a boy and can you please raise my 169 children? 🙂 Come on be a man!
Hi Jared To be mature adult is a fine thing. To have good values is a fine thing . But why make up yet another ,man box,that excludes many males and gives us the right to categorise them as “not men”. The way I see it ,are all male older than 18-20 year men. They must go to war. Some are immature,some are not wise,some are not intelligent and therefore make stupid choices,some are disadvantaged and end up with all sorts of problems in life. But they are all men. I think you should stop this silly idea that males… Read more »
When did the term “boy” become acceptable to use in order to describe undesirables? Does no one consider the effect it might have on American boys to be told that they are “lesser” by virtue of being a boy? Why do we tell boys that they are inherently bad, and why can’t we do any better?
It happened around the time it was decided that tearing boys down was an important part of building girls up. Notice how empowerment for girls is to build them up. Encourage them to do what they want. Strengthen them against adversity. Let them know how powerful they are by virtue of being female. All excellent things I’m sure we’ll agree. On the other hand what passes for empowering boys is nothing of the sort. Only encourage them when they engage in activities that have been traditionally coded as feminine (if the activities are masculine go straight to pondering what negative… Read more »
I adore you for writing such an amazing article. thank you! I love this!
No, you’re absolutely wrong. Men are authentic. Boys are not. If a man wants to shack up with a woman because that’s what he freely chooses for his life, then he’s a man. If a male commits to a woman because that’s what he’s always been told he’s supposed to do, then he’s a boy.
My only argument about what you said is “what he’s suppose to do” … It’s okay to do things that men believe they are supposed to do. Many “suppose to do’s” result in “wanting to do’s” BUT will agree that men have choices that “appear” to be boy like but are in fact no less being a “man.”
I think there is room for us to agree. My point is there are men and there are boys, but there are also good men and bad men. Just because a guy is “bad” doesn’t make him a boy as long as he’s chosen freely and truly understands the difference. Same with boys.
Another celebration of maled gender roles from the 19th century. Slowclap indeed. Sorry but having been rejectect by women all my life I am not going to help pay for another man’s children when that man left and left the woman in question suddenly thinks that I am a good catch.
Seconded. Why should being a “real man” (TM) involve nothing but perpetual sacrifice for some men and endless indulgence for others. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to date a single mother or not wanting to raise another man’s children or clean up somebody else’s mess. Some of us might want to have some lone time with a woman in a romantic relationship and not have to deal with “instant family just add daddy” or affection competition.
I guess it depends on the situation. Being in the same boat (ie. realizing that no woman would ever want to bear my children, let alone date me), but I had something to offer, and wanted a part in raising a child, I accepted and embraced an opportunity somewhat like what you described. The kid was awesome, and just entering an age where he could start to communicate and engage with the world. I knew he needed a father figure, and I thought it would be rewarding to both of us (and his mother) if I took it on. Now… Read more »
I don’t know if I should lambast you for cracking or congratulate you for doing what gives you pleasure.
Feel free to do either. I alternate between both opinions of myself fairly regularly. 😉
Love this
🙂 well done!!!
Something only men can teach boys.
Definitely
Iron sharpens iron … Sadly, we don’t have the opportunities to do so. Don’t you know that it’s 2017 and women can do it all? They can do it all without consequence for doing it wrong in that they can still blame men (fathers) if they have poor results.
Definitely worth a thumbs up!
I loved this. Thank you
Great article. I wish there was an equivalent for girls/women.
To write such an article would be politically incorrect to the extreme, Only men are expected to prove their adulthood, women never have to.
Hi Trey1962, I totally get what you are saying, but political correctness does not apply here. I think the writer is trying to speak on and about maturity. Women often date guys that are not on the maturity level they want and then try to “make them grow up.” You can’t raise a man. He must grow on his own. None of us should have to prove our adulthood, we should just act like and be adults. Actions always speak louder than words.
Trey was referring to a similar article written for women. It would truly be unacceptable.
yep….
Trey1962
“To write such an article would be politically incorrect to the extreme, Only men are expected to prove their adulthood, women never have to.”
It is true !
I think this must be an never ending nightmare for men.
Women do not have to prove that we are women, but we all know our worth is based ( to a large extent) on how we look, and how we express our sexuality.
It does not take much before a woman is seen as not being worth much….as a woman.