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I live with my mother. I moved back in with her 3 years ago, I had needed help. I had just been released from the hospital after a suicide attempt (I know better ways to handle it now.) In these past 3 years I have done a lot of learning and growing. Part of what I learned is how fragile life is and how quickly it can change. Seeing the shock on the faces of my family helped with that.
I could have moved out on my own a while ago but I stayed. My mother ended up needing my support for a bit and it felt good to be able to return the favor. More than that I have an opportunity to spend time with and get to know my mother in a way that many of my friends do not. This extra time I have with her is precious- even if she drives me absolutely crazy sometimes.
I try to carry this thinking over to other relationships in my life. You never know how long you will have with the people you love. Maintaining communication over long distance is more difficult for me. I frequently fail. Technology has made it easy but effort must still be made to keep up contact. Being with my mother means that I am far away from my siblings and my father. I miss out important moments all the time. I like to convince myself that I have more time with siblings. They are, after all, much younger than my mother but life doesn’t work that way.
Remembering this is hard at first. It takes an acknowledgement of mortality. It can be easy to take people for granted if you expect that they will always be there. Even if that expectation is only because you refuse to accept how fleeting life is.
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