How You Know You’ve Experienced a Growth Mindset

I’ve never been robbed.

Until today.

I met up with a friend at a park for lunch. The picnic benches were right by the parking lot. We joked about people breaking into cars, wondering if they noticed purses covered with hoodies in the backseat. Turns out, they do.

I beeped my car to lock it when I walked away. I’m positive that I did. I’m OCD like that. However, the car doesn’t show any signs of forced entry.

While eating, my phone starts buzzing with fraudulent charge warnings from Chase Bank. I don’t think much of it, I primarily shop online and had my card numbers stolen dozens of times. It’s a nuisance, but it’s not a big deal; the credit card company wipes off the charges and sends a new card.

When driving back, I get more texts from the bank. I grab my purse from under the hoodie. At a red light, I take out my wallet to verify the last 4 digits for the shared credit card I have with my quasi-ex-husband, Joseph. I know my personal credit card number by heart, but not the shared card. As I open my wallet, I get confused. My driver’s license, Costco card, insurance card, and even a Target gift card are in there. But the wallet is light.

The money I have in there is gone.

My credit cards are gone.

Oh shit: my debit cards are gone.

I know credit card issuers will refund charges. But a debit card? That’s dicey because that’s real cash. Between my bank accounts, there’s over $400,000 available. That’s my I-Need-a-Divorce fund.

Still driving, in the absence of having a debit card to flip over for a phone number, I call Joseph and tell him to call the bank asap. I also instruct him to transfer our shared account balances to his private bank account, the one that I don’t have a card for.

I need to make sure I don’t piss off my quasi-ex-husband until I get my new cards and am positive the bank canceled the old ones. I’m relying on him to move the funds back over to the shared accounts.

I convince myself it was less than $100 in cash. I rarely carry bills, they were in there for months from a return months ago. I also tell myself not to get upset despite the loss of money to put towards my savings goals.

I called the police. They said they don’t dust for fingerprints but they could open a case. It was at a park, there aren’t security cameras pointing at the parking lot, and it was dubious they could do anything. I declined to file a report.

So here’s the thing…

A year ago, I would have been really, really upset. I would have felt violated. I would have been almost hysterical over the cash missing. There’s a good chance I would have crumpled to the floor, thinking that this was yet another straw on the camel’s back that is my shitty life.

Now…I’m almost laughing. Well, I wasn’t 20 minutes ago when dealing with Chase because it took talking to three different fraud departments but otherwise, I’m almost laughing.

This was a very polite robber. They didn’t ransack my car. I had a box with $300 of returns to make in the trunk. They went in, gently took out my cards, put the rest back in the purse.

I still have one credit card left to use for the weekend.

I still have my driver’s license and health card. The driver’s license would have been a pain to replace.

I still have the Target gift card with $67 left on it.

My car wasn’t damaged.

I still have my Kate Spade purse and Coach wallet.

I still have the makeup inside it, including two new lip glosses.

I still have my little Tokidoki zipper pull.

Heck, I still have the hoodie that was on top of it. Take my hoodie and you’re a dead man.

It could have been so, so much worse.

I’m blown away by my mindset right now. I’m not even annoyed. Sure, I was a little irritated when on the phone with Chase (I have little patience with CS reps forced to read off a script, along with how I couldn’t cancel my cards online). But the incident itself is a “meh, that sucked” shoulder shrug.

My brain keeps thinking how grateful I am that I don’t have to deal with replacing my driver’s license, no money was taken out of my bank accounts, and I didn’t have wads of cash. Heck, the thief didn’t even notice the four In-N-Out gift cards that I had in a pocket (note to self: stop forgetting you have In-N-Out gift cards and start eating some damn burgers). I would have been livid if the wallet and purse were taken.

I can’t help but smile. They got my closed Wells Fargo account card. Good luck trying to use it, mother-effer.

I’m grateful because this crappy situation didn’t cause a Worst Case Scenario, resulting in a spiral of negative emotions. My friends on social media are hysterical on my behalf while I’m the one calming them down, telling them it wasn’t a big deal.

This is considered growth, right?

…

I wrote this article yesterday but saved editing it for today. This morning, I woke up at an un-Godly hour to do what can only be described as Fitness Hell outdoors with some friends.

During the post-workout cooldown, while stretching with a hand to the sky, I looked up. The sky was a perfect blue. Not a cloud in sight. It’s March, and I’m wearing a tank top with leggings outdoors before the rest of mankind has woken up. “I can’t believe I’m lucky that I live here and not somewhere with snow, like Texas,” I thought.

What have I turned into? Have I lost my edge and beloved cynicism?

The Me from my past wants to punch the Me of today for this upbeat mentality. However, driving the old Me nuts brings me great joy. Phew. I’ve still got plenty of asshole attitude left in me despite my newfound optimism.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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