Being Brown on This Blue Planet

Many times I wish I would just not stick out like a sore thumb, like poop on fresh snow.

My complexion is wheatish — something unheard of in a white-prevalent world. Everything from its sound to its explanation is absurd. And so is the unwanted quiz that follows.

I used to be an Opera singer in the USA until the pandemic struck. Resorting to a more certain future, I am now studying nursing in Germany.

Apart from having to learn a new language at the age of 36 and dealing with a 365-degree shift in my career, I also have had to bear with other peoples’ ignorance.

As an Indian having spent a considerable amount of time in the USA and Germany, I try to elaborate a few myths and truths.

Don’t you worship 100 Gods?

One day, while discussing the struggles I faced to understand Saarlandisch — a dialect spoken Saarland, the smallest land in west Germany, my colleague exclaimed with bright eyes, “But you are blessed as you pray to 100 Gods. Why then are you troubled?”

Astonished, I further explained that I was Catholic.

“What then are you doing in India?”, pat came the reply.

India is home to the largest Hindu population in the world, followed by the second largest number of Muslims. However, Christians, Sikhs, Buddhists also compose a major part of the country.

Are you Muslim?

Germany is home to the largest population of Turkish people, and some of them seem to have a complexion similar to mine. Some not-so-fair Middle Eastern people have a matching skin color too.

This has made onlookers ask me if I was Muslim. Or, frightfully keep pork away from me.

On other occasions, people look at my face and think I am Hindu, and frightfully keep beef away from me!

You look like you are coming back from Vacation!

An expression that my colleague from nursing school used every time she set her eyes on me, was that she felt like I was constantly coming back from vacation. My brown color reminded her of the many people trying to tan themselves at the beach.

I was happy that my appearance reminded at least someone of having a good time, I definitely did not feel like it.

“If indeed I was returning from vacation, my brown color would turn black and remind you of an African rapper”, I replied.

Two brown faces speak the same language

Once my Opera team in Sicily took me to an Indian restaurant which was actually Srilankan, marketed as an Indian one.

The conductor was overjoyed as he introduced me to other similar-looking faces, thinking I could finally feel at home, speaking my own language with them.

In India, we have 121 languages not including over a thousand dialects. Hindi is the most widely spoken language followed by English. However, not everyone speaks Hindi.

Without English, an Indian is a foreigner in his own land. That’s why every educated Indian learns English and speaks it with an accent influenced by their regional language or dialect.

Most IT people and doctors in the USA hail from South India and have a thick South-Indian accent. This is mimicked in most American and Canadian soaps and Cartoons. I don’t, I am North Indian.

So when people comment, with surprise, on my impeccable, not heavily accented English; I merely thank them, without many explanations

IT or Medicine is your niche

In the USA, people are classified into different boxes. A Mexican is good at handy work, a Thai at massages, a French at cooking, and an Indian at Computer and Science.

Most of the time, the Interviewer has already decided on the basis of your last name, what a person’s strength is.

Wise consultants in the USA have advised me to use my looks to my benefit and try my hand at IT or medicine.

They were right. Many Indian IT geeks in the USA have asked their wives to do a certificate IT course and have managed to get a contractual visa for them too.

Onion and garlic makes her stinky like a pig

Yes, we Indians use onion, garlic, and ginger as staples in our diet. We also eat a good amount of chilies, but apart from imparting our food with flavor and probably boosting our immunity, it does not cause other problems.

While the whole world has suddenly started using Indian turmeric to make everything edible turn into gold, doctors in America and Germany have blamed the Indian diet for almost all my health problems, except backache, so far.

Dirty and Unhyeginenic

In India, it is normal for most people to have someone to clean up after them. Every middle-class household can afford domestic help to take care of the home and the kitchen. Perhaps this is why many privileged Indians wait for another non-privileged Person to clean up their mess.

India has a caste system, where the caste a person is born in determines what work they would do. The lowest caste will clean the toilets for you.

A quick visit to the toilet abroad at a place of Indian interest would confirm this, and Indians, no matter how clean or organized, have to suffer the repercussions.

Loud and Rowdy

You probably have heard about the big fat Indian wedding. We love to host and feed people.

If we are happy, we will exclaim to the world that we are.

When someone dies, we lift the dead body on our shoulders, shout out slogans, and march on the streets.

It’s a cultural difference that people in Germany and the USA will not understand.

Ask her and you shall receive

In a place like Germany where people are quite direct, they expect an honest answer and do not have the time or energy to comprehend sarcastic responses.

Indians have been a highly oppressed lot, having had to succumb to the British or Central Asian rulers and fight for rights in their own country. The yearning to please another, especially someone who is white, has been ingrained in them since the ages.

Saying no even in gesture is almost impossible for them — perhaps the reason why most revolve their heads in both agreement and disagreement, like that of a rubber doll that could only spring from side to side.

I too find it difficult to say no. The ongoing competition in my country taught me to overwork myself rather than suffer the loss of a wonderful opportunity. Hence, I always have more on my plate than I can chew.

Clingy and overbearing

Sometimes we Indians go out of our way to help, especially if the sufferer has white skin.

One of the German families we know visited the Taj Mahal in burning July. The man out of the couple broke his sandal and had to walk barefoot on the fierce marble.

A very kind and persuasive Indian couple wanted to be of assistance to them, by offering them their shoes.

Overwhelmed by the discomfort this person with soft white skin may be undergoing against the burning marble floor, they overlooked the fact that our friends would not want to borrow someone else’s sweaty shoes.

Finally, they succumbed to their wishes, agreed to sit shoeless in their tiny vehicle, and stopped at the nearest shoe shop to buy shoes, of course at the expense of their Indian guests.

They were then invited to coffee at their house, which according to the standards of Indian hospitality translated to staying until dinner, trying every delicacy that was available at home, seeing the children perform, and get a comfortable ride back to the hotel.

Our hesitant acquaintances still rave about the hospitality they received from this not-so-rich, but generous couple, with no expectation of return.

Skip that house!

In America, hospitality, more often than not, is reciprocated by just a drop of something nice at the doorstep.

German neighbors are willing to invite you for a Bar-b-Que once in a while if you tell them how many ‘Wurst’ pieces you will eat.

Indians pride themselves on being wonderful hosts and would painstakingly work to entertain their guests.

Most people would not like to intrude or take a look at our disorderly homes, but that thought never even occurred to us. No matter the time, no matter the weather, one is always welcome.

Arrogant and anti-social

We may not always be the first to start a conversation, but when we do, we will drill down into every personal aspect of life.

No, we are not being intrusive, it is a way of telling you that we like you. But until you make the first move, we will not.

Like in the US and in Germany, we are not accustomed to saying hi and smiling at every stranger we pass across.

Apart from the fact that it would be practically impossible to keep a count of the number of onlookers in my populated country, not everyone will take the greeting in a positive sense. Some would mistake a good greeting or a smile for an easy pass.

Brown and poor

And just because I am brown and hail from a poor country, does not mean I am jobless and looking for work.

I have been constantly approached by some in libraries both in the USA and Germany asking if I was looking to babysit kids and pets.

Randomly asked my old men if I would like to stay in their house as a caregiver or clean up as a janitor.

When in a group with other exotic-looking females at a disco, asked whether we were available for a one-night stand.

And if something went missing when I was around, did not mean that the poor Indian took it!

…

Being born in a developing nation provided me with enough tools to survive but ensured that I took nothing for granted. Seven countries later, my struggle for that perfect comfort zone is still on.

Throughout the journey, I wished I could erase the prejudice people carried and start afresh on a clean slate.

But this is not the beginning of creation. This isn’t the garden of Eden, but I am still that Eve.

Little deeds of kindness, little words of love, Help to make the earth an Eden, like the heaven above.

…

I thank Annika Wappelhorst for helping me put life into this piece.

Shireen is an avid writer, budding Opera singer, apprentice nurse in Germany, wildlife rehabilitator, dog sitter, dog walker, walker…. Jack of all trades and master of one- Mother to two children aged 7 and 9!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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