My Yardstick to Measure Love

I read a quote somewhere saying, “It’s better to have a good life rather than a good time.” The time I read it, I was confused; What difference does it make?

I always had a good time, as long as I was with my people, and it felt like a good life too, though, to my surprise, it wasn’t.

A year ago, there were people whose company felt like bliss is not so blissful anymore. People I could listen to for hours and hours-never getting bored. I loved these people, maybe, or was just too infatuated with them.

Spending long hours among a group of people can trick you into excessive attachment. And yet, we never ask, ‘Is it worth it?’ We all know a friend who’s always on the phone with someone, and their conversations never end; I mean, what are you discussing? How to colonize mars!

I had that kind of obsessiveness, but with friends that defied space and time.

Now that I think of it, man! It was like, how much time can I give? I guess a little more-Always ready to give a lot. However, the pandemic hit, and it all ended, and it felt like a spell broke- say bye-bye to Alice in the wonderland.

Being home- things changed for the better, I did long for my company, but being by myself, I got to evaluate myself as who am I? out of my circle. I realized the world was way ahead, and to add to my misery-I didn’t have a life of my own. I was only doing a degree, feeling overwhelmed by the task, whereas others were doing a lot-gaining professional experience, doing volunteer work, freelancing, and way more. And I- I was making jokes, enjoying sarcasm, and having a good time.

When it hit me, I felt I was doomed; Considering that I have spent twenty-four years and my resume is pretty empty. Some 9-year-olds are doing better than me-it’s embarrassing. So, I thought where I spent so much time, and I understood, damn! Not a good life. I should have had fewer good times.

Luckily, I knew a few diamonds in the rough too. Thank God for those! They introduced me to having a purpose in life. It sounded empowering, and I stuck with these people, people concerned about what I am doing, people who encouraged me to be better, people who themselves had goals and aims in life and wanted the same for me. They are the ones that think of me and my time sincerely.