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David Weinlick and Elizabeth Runze had the most unusual of love stories: they were matched up by their families and married as strangers in front of thousands of people at the mall. 19 years and four kids later, David was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer. This is how they spent their final chapter together.
My Last Days co-creator, Justin Baldoni, sits down for a special round table conversation with past cast members and their families to watch their episodes together for the first time and talk about life, love, mortality, and joy.
In collaboration with Wayfarer.
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:04
we’re doing things a little bit
00:05
different
00:06
this year we’ve decided to allow you
00:07
guys to actually meet
00:09
and to watch your documentaries for the
00:11
first time
00:13
here we go i’m gonna wake up it’s gonna
00:16
be okay i’m gonna wake up
00:17
you can win with love every time
00:22
you know like i’m not where a normal
00:24
like 26 year old would be
00:26
just love love without fear
00:31
mom was like okay guys when i pass away
00:33
you always go to a medium and if they
00:35
don’t say the word
00:36
pineapples they’re fake so our number
00:39
one word is always going to be
00:41
pineapples so i was like well i hope
00:43
there’s not a lot of mediums to watch
00:44
this show cause then
00:45
yeah yeah well they’re gonna know
00:48
pineapples now
00:49
um so here we are our third hour
00:53
together we’re gonna close with dave
00:57
obviously you are here because dave
00:59
physically isn’t
01:01
um yeah how are you doing
01:06
the couch is holding me up right now and
01:09
josh and chanel
01:10
and travis and shannon didn’t you
01:14
dave was a uh very unique man
01:19
and i had quite the
01:23
sense of humor i think a morbid sense of
01:26
humor is one way to uh
01:28
we shared that pretty soon on after his
01:29
diagnosis yeah i think we could use
01:32
use a couple laughs right now you guys
01:35
ready
01:36
yeah here we go
01:40
two weeks ago america watched transfixed
01:43
as two total strangers exchanged wedding
01:45
vows on tv
01:46
dave went on tv in a quest for a bride
01:49
when he aired this television commercial
01:52
dave needs a bride nominations are now
01:54
being accepted on the web or at the
01:55
campaign office
01:56
dave’s bride will be selected by
01:57
democratic process by the attendees at
01:59
the wedding
02:00
he didn’t have a vote at all it was his
02:02
60 friends and family
02:04
dave had no say in it what does it say
02:06
about love though can you make love
02:08
happen i think you need to make love
02:11
happen
02:12
i mean it’s not going to go all by
02:20
itself
02:24
fell for him yeah well no this is a
02:27
tricky question
02:28
is it well it is it is i don’t know why
02:30
it’s tricky
02:34
well there are things that you know you
02:36
learn about people if you date them
02:38
for longer than 10 minutes
02:41
we had the the champagne thing right
02:44
right
02:45
i don’t drink alcohol and so we did a
02:48
champagne toast and i did a total
02:50
fake sip and dave looked at me and drank
02:53
alcohol
02:54
no okay it’s pretty intense getting to
02:56
know each other doing
02:58
interviews and hanging out and we were
02:59
together the entire time after
03:01
getting married i think like two days
03:04
afterwards
03:04
i said i don’t mean to freak you out
03:08
but i think i love you the way you tell
03:10
the story by the way is just super
03:13
[Music]
03:16
romantic
03:18
anyway i did talk to my grandma about it
03:23
and she said well honey
03:25
it might be the great love story of your
03:26
life
03:28
and she said it like that i was like yep
03:31
i’m in
03:32
i’m in yup
03:36
it was all grandma
03:40
my name is david weinick i’m 47 years
03:43
old and i’m living with stage 4
03:45
colon cancer a year ago doctors told me
03:48
i had about a year to live but i’m not
03:49
going down in a hospital bed
03:51
i want everyone to know that you don’t
03:53
have to live life the way the world
03:54
expects you to live life
03:56
you do you
04:07
dave and i could have gone on forever
04:09
and been a family just the two of us but
04:11
having kids kind of in my mind was the
04:14
definition
04:15
of family i used to say i didn’t know
04:18
what to do with a kid until they at
04:19
least talked
04:22
but then when that happened and we had
04:25
emily
04:26
this whole new chapter of life this
04:29
whole new bundle of joy this whole new
04:32
person who is going to grow up and be
04:34
part of our adventure and so on
04:36
that was an amazing experience
04:40
i think dave and i in the beginning both
04:42
of us were on the same page about having
04:44
won
04:45
who’s who in the family okay well we’ve
04:47
got emily the
04:49
free-spirited wannabe co-parent
04:52
charlie the strong stalwart supportive
04:55
helpful one
04:57
and zoe the reclusive artist
05:00
always willing to to chip in as needed
05:02
and zad the
05:04
exciting and interested and curious
05:06
minded one who
05:08
leads us off into all kinds of other
05:10
exploits
05:12
we did not experience the overwhelming
05:14
responsibility that some people do when
05:16
they have kids
05:21
our life just became fun
05:24
more fun more fun more fun we have a
05:26
raucous good time
05:42
you’re right
06:04
bethe is my rock i mean she really is
06:09
there was no the wine licks until she
06:11
came along
06:17
and she’s certainly concerned about what
06:19
happens
06:20
without me down the line and
06:22
[Music]
06:24
the afternoon that we found out dave had
06:26
cancer
06:29
zed and i were visiting him at the
06:32
hospital
06:33
the doctors came in and they were very
06:35
solemn zed was on
06:37
the bed playing on his ipad and the
06:40
doctor said
06:41
maybe he should step out
06:44
and it was at that moment that i knew
06:47
hearing you have cancer and i thought
06:49
okay that’s our initial diagnosis let’s
06:52
see what happens let’s see we can do
06:53
maybe something’s going to go well and
06:55
honestly then we started chemo
06:56
and it also became clear that yeah but
06:59
it’s not
07:00
it’s not going away there was a
07:03
discussion of
07:04
you know one to three years
07:07
and what the heck do i do how do i how
07:10
do i do this last bit of parenting here
07:12
before i have no more chance to parent
07:14
i don’t know why mommy’s making waffles
07:16
on her birthday
07:18
it seems kind of wrong well it’s also
07:20
moravian’s day of giving
07:23
okay i’ll make the waffles because it’s
07:24
the meridian day of giving
07:26
[Laughter]
07:28
he’s not like the typical dad that my
07:31
friends all complained about like oh my
07:33
gosh dad you’re so embarrassing i mean
07:35
sure my dad can embarrass me sometimes
07:37
but in general he’s just a
07:39
cool guy he’s
07:43
caring optimistic funny and
07:46
fun
07:51
start by cleaning up the floor no dude
07:53
no no no
07:54
he tries to help when he
07:58
can’t really do much he still is
08:01
trying to help the best he can
08:04
thank you
08:12
[Music]
08:19
uh the story of how they got married
08:22
said maybe i should do this
08:23
no i want to i’ve already done this yeah
08:26
so that’s why i should do it
08:28
he had his friend’s pitch we got married
08:30
to he basically put out a tv commercial
08:32
and handed out pamphlets and everything
08:34
like
08:34
come to the mall on this day if you want
08:37
like this chance of marrying david
08:45
[Music]
08:48
cause i’ve been in my tuck since 6 a.m
08:50
the first time i saw elizabeth that
08:52
morning
08:53
was actually outside those doors i was
08:56
outside those doors
08:57
smoking a cigarette bethy
09:00
and her mom pull up and i found out
09:03
later that beth’s mom actually said to
09:04
bethany
09:05
oh look we pulled up and he’s outside
09:08
it’s a sign
09:09
it is my belief
09:12
that the minute they met that was it
09:15
dan didn’t like it much
09:19
[Music]
09:20
oh she told you that i’ve always had a
09:23
protective role of
09:24
you know i think what any older brother
09:26
has of his little sister
09:28
i had not talked to dave ever
09:32
and i made a decision before that
09:34
morning
09:35
beth knows her own mind she’s a smart
09:37
gal and
09:38
i’ll just i’m there to support her so
09:42
it’s a lot of trust to put into anybody
09:46
a lot of my dad’s friends interviewed
09:47
all the women and asked them questions
09:49
and stuff
09:50
they set us at a table and it was one
09:53
two three four five and i was number
09:55
four
09:56
i talked to each of the other four first
09:59
and when they skipped over me i i just
10:02
i was thinking oh oh
10:06
not not in a bad way not a bad way and
10:09
then they take me into the room with
10:10
dave and it was just the two of us
10:12
and he was crying oh my god i’m just
10:14
here crying
10:20
[Music]
10:24
and he was crying and he got down on one
10:27
knee
10:29
and he said will you marry me and i said
10:33
[Music]
10:44
yes
10:45
[Music]
10:48
watch yourself
11:01
so i was here for seven hours i walked
11:04
in a single woman
11:05
and walked out with dave
11:10
best day of my life
11:18
[Music]
11:20
i’m sorry
11:33
[Music]
12:04
your crib okay okay whatever luck i had
12:08
went downhill
12:09
fast slime me those two make them good
12:13
ah no sweetie come on you gotta give me
12:16
something
12:17
all right come on here it is yes oh that
12:20
doesn’t do me any good at all
12:23
i guess the biggest thing is time with
12:26
the family
12:27
i mean
12:30
it’s not all capitalizing at every
12:32
moment it’s not all seized the day
12:33
because there are times when i don’t
12:34
have the energy to seize the day and i
12:36
just feel like lying on the couch
12:37
watching an episode of columbo you know
12:39
but
12:41
i’m gonna keep it simple i’m gonna stay
12:42
at home as long as i can and
12:44
we’re also gonna make it not a big
12:48
medical fiasco
12:52
i just thought that we should talk about
12:53
the service right
12:55
what were you thinking about talking
12:56
about exactly
12:58
it’s more likely that our kids will end
13:00
up in therapy because we didn’t have a
13:01
funeral
13:04
are they gonna regret it down the line
13:07
three of the kids
13:10
don’t want to have one i don’t want to
13:12
have one but then em was
13:14
thinking well of course we have to have
13:15
a service you’re not dead yet
13:18
and wants to be it would help me to see
13:22
like a bunch of the people that my dad
13:24
knew hearing their stories and
13:26
everything
13:26
i think we can do something informal but
13:29
i think
13:30
just like feeling on display it’s a
13:33
really intimate
13:35
raw moment i understand that sitting in
13:38
the front being all crying and red and
13:40
puffy is emotional and raw for you but
13:42
i mean that’s what you were doing at
13:44
griffin’s funeral i think when we had
13:45
the discussion i was kind of just like
13:46
iffy
13:47
about it i was kind of not on a singular
13:51
side
13:52
and it’s not gonna be like griffin’s
13:54
because he was a
13:55
cousin but he is her
13:58
dad yeah it’d be a lot harder
14:03
yeah one thing we did talk about was
14:04
possibly having service
14:06
before i die so that i could help out
14:10
some people would think that was weird
14:12
or that it wouldn’t
14:13
serve the closer closure function
14:17
that it would after the death i’m saying
14:20
i have to say this just to get it out
14:21
otherwise i’m going to keep track of it
14:23
i was just like we could fake my death
14:26
and so have people come to the service
14:28
and then i
14:41
let’s take this slightly more seriously
14:45
[Music]
14:51
there’s still a lot we have to do
14:58
he has to walk me down the aisle
15:00
[Music]
15:03
and
15:07
he’s gonna be gone and i’m not ready
15:13
it’s not just a black and white thing i
15:16
think you’ve already heard i’m talking
15:18
about the fact that like
15:19
it’s an openness to having something
15:21
it’s just really important to know
15:23
what that is and figure that out yeah
15:26
you are your father’s daughter
15:34
david
15:38
me we were these two people doing
15:41
something that nobody had really ever
15:42
done before
15:44
and you were just there i knew it was
15:46
okay i knew it was safe
15:49
i remember how i just sometimes if i was
15:52
feeling down i would just come up to you
15:53
and say
15:54
just tell me it’s gonna be okay and you
15:55
say it’s gonna be okay and i always felt
15:57
better
16:02
i am afraid without that person behind
16:06
me
16:06
always saying it’s gonna be okay
16:10
and i know i’ll have the kids and
16:12
they’re gonna be such a great comfort to
16:14
me
16:15
[Music]
16:18
because they’re you
16:23
they’re all you
16:31
[Music]
16:34
i just want you know that i i believe
16:38
in you and you have the strength to do
16:41
what you need to do
16:43
and to hold out for
16:46
the life that you know that you want to
16:48
make
16:50
with the kids when i’m not with anymore
16:53
i just want you to know
16:55
to know that i have confidence in in you
16:58
doing that
17:07
do i get to tell you now right you know
17:10
you tell you no
17:12
okay everybody who meets you and
17:18
certainly all of your friends and family
17:21
are better people for having known you
17:24
every single person and that’s what i
17:28
aspire to be is
17:31
as a person like you
17:33
[Music]
17:34
but i mean if if i have to go through
17:36
cancer with somebody
17:41
like you were a pretty fun person to go
17:43
through cancer with
17:44
right well that’s fair and you’re still
17:46
doing thanks
17:50
we’ll still be the wine licks you’re
17:52
right
17:53
wait we can still send christmas cards
17:56
did you tell them that about the
17:57
christmas about that okay we’ll talk
17:59
about the christmas cards
18:01
dave has decided to donate his body to
18:04
the university of tennessee forensic
18:06
anthropology department
18:08
it made a lot of sense for dave because
18:10
dave’s a teacher
18:11
and the very fact that he could teach
18:13
somebody after he’s gone that was
18:16
right up his alley and we get to see a
18:18
skeleton someday which is kind of cool
18:20
once the skeleton gets in them in the
18:22
museum we’re gonna have a christmas card
18:24
with us
18:25
and dave
18:29
oh it’s terrible it’s terrible isn’t it
18:31
i love about that
18:33
but it’s so damn funny
18:35
[Music]
18:38
this pizza needs more but
18:44
zoe charlie
18:48
emily wish i could give you all the
18:51
guidance in the world but i will say
18:53
this
18:53
don’t ever let anyone tell you that
18:55
you’re wrong to be the way you are
18:57
don’t ever try to be someone you’re not
19:00
and
19:01
in all cases look first and be kind
19:05
[Music]
19:07
that’ll take you forever
19:16
[Music]
19:30
try try and be more joyful it’s easy to
19:33
get caught up in
19:34
daily life and not think about that
19:37
sometimes
19:39
[Music]
19:47
i’ll do that for him
20:03
[Music]
20:17
so i bet you’re all wondering about the
20:18
christmas cards i expect to get one of
20:21
those
20:22
just so you know well then we even went
20:25
further and said that
20:27
when i die i’ll donate my body to the
20:29
same program so that i become a skeleton
20:31
and then we’re going to be put in a case
20:33
together and we’ll be the first
20:34
couple skeleton in the history of the
20:36
world that’s so romantic
20:38
skeleton skeleton couple i should say
20:41
that’s right right
20:43
yeah i love it what gives me is just
20:46
like
20:50
just the joy that you guys all have
20:54
just to like i think one of the most
20:57
beautiful things about
20:58
the human heart is its ability to hold
21:00
both pain and joy simultaneously
21:04
and like wow are you doing it
21:08
the fact that you can even be here
21:12
you know because it reminded me of the
21:15
joy
21:16
you don’t always feel the joy but that
21:18
reminded me of it all right i got to
21:20
know did you guys have a funeral
21:21
um we did we did it was um
21:26
it’s just really i think we made some
21:28
people uncomfortable with
21:30
our humor but it worked for us
21:33
um speaking of uncomfortable can you
21:35
please bring
21:36
bring out what you brought today
21:40
you mean dave can you break can you show
21:44
this is unbelievable i love all of you
21:46
to meet
21:48
lego dave look at this
21:52
that’s so cool our son charlie made this
21:55
he’s a lego creator
21:57
and we would take pictures of him doing
21:59
things
22:00
and and i would post it on facebook and
22:03
everybody just thought it was a riot
22:04
like oh my god
22:05
the adventures of lego dave
22:08
so now when we came to california of
22:10
course we had to bring lego dave
22:12
what a beautiful way to keep him with
22:13
you that’s amazing yeah
22:15
so we’re going to take a little break
22:16
and then after that we’re all just going
22:18
to sit and we’re going to have a chat
22:19
and we’re going to talk we’re going to
22:20
go deep hopefully
22:22
leave our audience with a few pearls of
22:25
wisdom
22:29
there is not anything that i wouldn’t do
22:32
for beshear
22:33
if he went blind and he needed my eyes i
22:35
would be blind for the rest of my life
22:37
she’s the one i chose to be with he’s my
22:40
calm
22:40
in the storm love is the great equalizer
22:43
it’s the strongest thing in the world
22:45
and i’m in love and i don’t want it to
22:47
end and i don’t want him to be
22:48
heartbroken
22:49
i want to have kids and i want to have a
22:50
future and a career and there’s this
22:52
thing that might prevent it all
22:56
you guys talk a lot about unconditional
22:57
love
22:59
your husband who i have a man crush on
23:02
something that really struck me
23:05
was when he talked about the moments
23:08
where you feel like you have a second
23:09
shot like a second chance like there’s
23:11
some relief and he just
23:12
what goes through his mind is like whoa
23:16
i get to love on my wife again
23:19
that like how is unconditional love
23:23
played into your life and in your
23:25
marriage like he said i had a point
23:28
where
23:28
they were like you’re in kind of like a
23:30
light remission
23:32
and so until we got to that period
23:34
everything was fear-based
23:37
um the remission lasted
23:40
like that and then he was like now i
23:42
know how to care for you and now i know
23:44
how to love on you
23:45
and i know what you need and so i was
23:47
just like
23:49
what do i need and he was just like just
23:51
i’m just gonna take care of you
23:53
and we love our parents but there is
23:55
something like having a spouse
23:57
without a doubt i would have no reason
24:00
to fight
24:02
i just he’s the reason that i keep going
24:04
he’s pulled me out of
24:05
crash cart territory more than once and
24:08
i just
24:09
i hear his voice and i remember that’s
24:11
why
24:12
i need to keep opening my eyes that’s
24:14
why i need to keep
24:15
you know come back into my body because
24:17
like he’s there and i
24:20
my biggest fear in life is leaving him
24:24
you know all i can say to that is ditto
24:28
yeah period point-blank cause there are
24:31
days where you’re like
24:32
i’m tired right i’m just tired
24:36
like i don’t i don’t want to die but i
24:38
just
24:39
i just want to like not be in all of
24:41
this
24:42
and then you see your loved one come in
24:45
with
24:46
a smile on their face or you know a joke
24:49
that they want to tell you or something
24:50
and you’re just like
24:52
peel your eyes open sit up and just like
24:56
try i i so resonate with that
25:00
because there were moments where i was
25:01
like i okay
25:03
all right lord take me exactly because
25:06
this
25:06
is too tough and then bashir will come
25:10
in like
25:10
babe do you know that i saw a groupon we
25:13
can go to hawaii and zuma i’m like
25:15
what are you talking about do you see
25:17
all this stuff and he’s like i know
25:19
but they even have a plan where like if
25:21
we can we can get insurance
25:23
and i’m like don’t take me because we
25:26
have to get this group on
25:28
we’re gonna go to hawaii like i remember
25:30
at one point i was pretty out of it
25:32
and there was one point where i just
25:33
said like i could go
25:36
this could be it and i wouldn’t have to
25:38
fight so hard
25:39
every single day like i could just be
25:41
done and no one would blame me
25:43
like i fought for six years like
25:46
i i don’t have to be in pain anymore and
25:49
like my eyes were closed and i just
25:51
thought about that like really hard i
25:53
was like
25:54
i deserve peace after this and um
25:59
my husband walked over to my bed like at
26:02
that exact moment
26:03
i could hear him talking to me and i
26:06
just thought like
26:07
no i can’t go like this isn’t done this
26:09
isn’t over like he
26:11
like when i say like he anchors me to
26:12
this earth like
26:14
he literally does and i like he is the
26:16
reason i want to be here
26:18
no matter if it’s a broken body or not i
26:20
want to be where he
26:21
is i think what really moves me so much
26:25
about what you two just shared
26:27
is that um you
26:30
allow yourself to be loved and for me it
26:33
was very
26:34
very different because i grew up being
26:37
sick
26:38
so i didn’t feel deserving of that i’ve
26:40
been in two serious relationships and
26:42
the one i’m in now
26:45
i didn’t expect it i didn’t plan it
26:48
i mean our second date was literally the
26:50
er
26:51
like he came to the er when nobody else
26:54
was there except for my mom
26:55
and you can’t really shut out that kind
26:57
of love that means we need now an update
27:00
on your love life
27:01
uh well i got married uh we started
27:04
filming and i was just dating
27:06
and on our first date i just basically
27:09
unloaded everything onto him because i
27:10
was like well you know i’m in rejection
27:12
i don’t know what’s going to happen in
27:13
the next few months or next year so
27:16
if i’m going to go on a date with
27:17
someone i’m just going to tell them
27:18
everything up front see what happens
27:19
so within our first five minutes i’m
27:21
like yeah so i’m in rejection i don’t
27:22
know how much time i have left but how
27:24
are you doing
27:25
and he was the first person to show up
27:27
at the hospital
27:28
when i needed somebody aside from my mom
27:30
and
27:31
he stayed with me almost every day up
27:33
through the transplant and so about a
27:35
year after we met
27:36
we were married and i we didn’t hesitate
27:39
we didn’t
27:41
we just did what we wanted to do what a
27:43
long way from
27:44
yeah sharing with the world you’re gay
27:47
on tv
27:48
to being married yeah well done man yeah
27:51
way to dive in
27:59
he held my hand and he said if this
28:02
is how god is gonna put you in my life
28:04
and this is what comes with it he said
28:06
okay
28:06
sometimes when i think about our family
28:09
we have the worst luck because we
28:10
go through terrible things we get
28:11
through them because we have each other
28:13
yeah
28:13
it’s not okay we are okay
28:17
i want to spend as much time with my
28:19
husband that i can
28:23
so we’re in this now now now
28:27
culture and i see a common thread of
28:30
individuals and your parents are an
28:32
exact example of this love that is
28:34
that is almost like cemented with
28:37
hardship
28:38
so what’s the message to those young
28:40
people that
28:41
maybe have never experienced i think
28:44
yeah i think that we’re all deserving of
28:46
love
28:47
and i think we’re all deserving of the
28:49
chance to love somebody too
28:52
i’ve found personally that my condition
28:55
has
28:55
always strengthened
28:58
the true love in my life you know it’s
29:01
very interesting when you get
29:04
great news the amount of people that
29:06
come around you
29:07
and then when you get really bad news
29:09
the people that are still around you
29:12
and that for me is has been one of my
29:14
greatest lessons in this life
29:16
is being able to see that
29:20
i would say love yourself first as an
29:23
individual
29:24
but if you’re constantly working on
29:25
yourself and giving yourself enough love
29:28
then whomever you attract
29:30
as your person will receive that
29:34
and and growing together feels so much
29:38
more organic
29:39
than when you’re trying to like i call
29:42
it being a representative for someone
29:44
yeah
29:44
when you’re like god i just this
29:46
person’s so hot and
29:48
maybe if i like what do i have to do
29:52
you know i mean and and then you get
29:54
with them you’re like you are a nasty
29:56
person
29:57
dave um after he got sick
30:00
he he talked about that whole thing
30:02
about you know finding love and
30:04
and how he had failed miserably at it
30:05
because he made terrible choices and
30:08
and he said but i realized now that i
30:10
was work looking for the wrong thing
30:11
what i should have been looking for is
30:13
somebody who could wipe my ass
30:15
and rub my feet and give me bed baths
30:17
and that should have been my criteria
30:19
because but his point is that you don’t
30:21
go into a relationship thinking oh we
30:23
get along really well when we travel in
30:25
rome
30:26
you put yourself in a really hellish
30:28
situation
30:29
and could i function with that person
30:32
and i’m
30:32
i happen to be a nurse so yes that came
30:34
in very
30:35
useful at the end like that you know it
30:38
was the hardest
30:39
moment of our marriage but it was raw
30:42
and and we were able to do it because of
30:44
the love but
30:46
it is it’s really hard to go through
30:47
with somebody but he said i
30:49
and i believe he said it that you have
30:52
to choose love
30:53
oh yeah dave was a big and i love that
30:56
this idea that love is also a choice
30:59
it’s an action it’s not something that
31:01
you just sit back and wait for
31:03
and watch it’s something that you
31:04
actively have to unfold
31:07
right now and i um we’ve been through
31:09
marriage counseling because we wanted to
31:11
learn how to deal with grief
31:12
so we decided like as a team maybe we
31:15
don’t have all the tools
31:17
to hold up our house don’t be afraid to
31:20
say hey this is hard we need outside
31:22
help
31:23
and it wasn’t like we were falling apart
31:24
we were growing closer together
31:27
i think that we also have a have an
31:30
issue nationally with admitting weakness
31:34
it is gonna be really nice to get out
31:38
some aggression
31:48
you have to have the courage to look at
31:50
the chest tube that they’re about to put
31:51
into you
31:52
you have to be able to say okay here we
31:55
go
31:55
i’m gonna wake up he’s putting up a
31:57
pretty good you know i’m good i’m fine
32:00
i’m okay he’s gonna be a single dad
32:02
overnight
32:04
i’m okay
32:08
i know my dad is putting up just like
32:10
swallow because right now he’s trying to
32:12
focus on taking care of
32:14
us without taking care of himself when
32:17
we saw the documentary
32:18
i looked back and then i was the first
32:20
dad i was that was the first time i ever
32:22
saw my dad cry so
32:25
i mean look you are incredibly brave and
32:27
mature
32:28
to be sitting on this couch at 15 years
32:31
old with your mom in the situation she’s
32:32
in brother so i just want to tell you
32:34
that
32:34
yeah that like people don’t know how to
32:37
handle this stuff like no one’s trying
32:38
like none of us have been trained
32:40
there’s no like
32:41
life 101 to prepare you for being in the
32:43
situation and so we push it away
32:46
how important is therapy i know you you
32:48
guys were going to therapy
32:50
yeah that’s like our full-time job now
32:52
it’s therapy
32:53
in one form or another i was scared
32:56
i mean i was very um
33:00
not bitter just very confused as to what
33:03
was happening with me and
33:05
every other day was a new prognosis like
33:07
every other day was oh by the time
33:09
you’re
33:10
15 by the time you’re 20 by the time
33:11
you’re this you’re not going to be here
33:13
and
33:13
i was like so why do i need to talk
33:14
about it like i don’t understand that
33:16
now as an adult i find that therapy
33:20
is a vital part of my
33:23
everyday treatment i um
33:27
i’ve learned to love myself and all of
33:29
my scars
33:30
and deal with you know certain triggers
33:33
i don’t know about you guys but
33:35
beeping noises for me huge trigger
33:38
when i hear those beeping noises i think
33:41
hospital and it throws me into
33:42
a panic attack so it’s and i’ve had to
33:46
have
33:46
serious therapy for that it’s like ptsd
33:49
from hospitals
33:50
medical ptsd is a real thing and it’s
33:52
definitely
33:53
the head but it’s a hard thing to do
33:54
yeah and i think for the family too i
33:56
mean you guys
33:57
deal with it just as much as we do so i
34:00
think therapy is good for anyone but
34:01
especially when you’re dealing with this
34:03
this kind of thing it’s necessary
34:07
i personally believe in like all
34:08
modalities of healing
34:10
spiritual emotional physical
34:13
energetically
34:14
i’ll bust out a crystal every once in a
34:15
while i have a reiki master
34:17
i’ll drink a green juice and sometimes i
34:20
need an antidepressant
34:21
sometimes i need any anxiety like there
34:23
is no shame
34:25
in self-care that i think is the number
34:27
one step
34:28
on how we all have lived our lives so
34:31
where is your health today with this
34:35
miracle new lease on life that you have
34:37
um i mean
34:38
just currently everyone just kind of
34:40
uses the word
34:41
stable there’s no really true remission
34:44
with my conditions
34:46
and since it was a clinical trial no one
34:48
knows if it will last
34:50
one year five years 15 years and so i’m
34:54
you know just like working full time and
34:55
living like this exciting little
34:57
epilogue
34:58
i like to call it um and just hoping
35:01
that
35:02
if that book restarts that
35:05
it’s down the line but i know that i’ll
35:08
be prepared
35:14
tell people you love them don’t be
35:18
scared to like tell people
35:20
so i love you your memories your
35:23
experiences are what you take with you
35:25
that’s the only thing you get out of
35:26
life right gosh
35:30
you pour it too much let me smell it
35:33
you’re not gonna like it
35:36
when you want something bad enough
35:39
strength
35:40
hope love
35:43
you’ll find it thank you guys so much
35:47
for being here for flying out for being
35:50
a part of
35:52
today my final question for everybody
35:57
what do you each hope that
36:00
our viewers can take away
36:04
from all of your stories
36:08
what do you hope that we can learn
36:09
collectively from your journeys and your
36:11
experiences and your joy and your pain
36:15
you have to have patience and just find
36:17
the good in everyone like
36:18
when it rains look for rainbows when
36:19
it’s dark look for stars just in every
36:22
situation in life it doesn’t have to be
36:23
someone with a chronic illness just
36:25
someone going through life in general
36:28
you have a lot of a lot of ups and downs
36:30
a lot of dark times a lot of
36:32
celebrations just make sure that you’re
36:35
enjoying it to the fullest and just
36:37
love as much as you can whenever you can
36:41
well your mom must be so proud of you so
36:44
many times
36:45
we can talk ourselves out of things that
36:49
may be the very blessing to our entire
36:52
life
36:53
for for multiple different reasons so
36:57
if something ignites your soul just
36:59
thinking about it and talking about it
37:01
go do that live life with purpose
37:04
forgive and you know just just
37:08
do whatever ignites your soul
37:13
stop focusing on what your life could
37:15
have or should have been
37:17
and just revere everything that it is
37:20
and if that’s
37:21
the sun on your back and a planter box
37:24
that’s joy recognize it i guess what i
37:28
want people to understand
37:30
and this seems obvious and yet people
37:32
live their lives as
37:33
as if it’s not obvious your life can
37:36
change like that
37:39
and truly in a second and um
37:47
if you’re on the periphery of
37:50
somebody’s life and something’s
37:51
happening to them do not say
37:54
let me know if there’s anything i can do
37:55
to help do
37:57
something show up at their house clean
38:00
their bathroom show up at their house
38:02
walk their dogs call them up and say i’m
38:05
coming to get the kids and taking them
38:06
to a movie this afternoon
38:08
what you just said i’m sorry is so
38:10
important and i just have to scream that
38:11
to the top of my lungs
38:13
i would never respond to people that
38:15
would say what do you need
38:17
listen if i knew what i needed i’d be
38:19
doing it correct
38:20
like that if you know i’m at home laid
38:23
up
38:24
and i can’t do anything if you come
38:26
clean my bathroom which i’m sure i’ve
38:28
thrown up in a thousand times
38:30
to get up and go in and not have to like
38:33
smell my throw up it’s like
38:34
who claimed the bathroom yeah wow
38:38
what is that cooking who opened my
38:40
windows who changed my sheets
38:42
who washed my clothes
38:46
just do just do it just do it
38:50
no one’s ever going to be like you
38:51
washed my clothes
38:53
oh i’m sorry i just yeah anything to
38:55
relieve stress
38:56
oh my gosh yeah even more so for the
38:59
caregivers
39:00
i don’t know when beshear slaps i really
39:03
don’t
39:05
you’re an angel never forget that
39:09
we’re fighting for you you’re fighting
39:11
for everything
39:12
who’s a champion you asked you felt last
39:15
night like
39:16
dave was gonna be here today and you
39:18
were gonna see him i think you just saw
39:19
him
39:20
through her
39:23
she’s got his same thing and she just
39:25
channeled something right to you
39:32
thank you you know
39:36
there are people like us um
39:40
everywhere in this world
39:43
and if anyone is watching this who is
39:46
going through something similar i want
39:48
them to know that they’re not alone
39:50
i want them to know that their family
39:53
members are not alone
39:54
i want them to know that it’s okay to be
39:57
scared
39:58
but it’s also okay to fight with
40:00
everything in you
40:01
and even when you feel tired it’s okay
40:03
to lean on somebody
40:05
hmm first of all thank you all
40:10
you all shared a tremendous amount of
40:12
your time today
40:14
and your stories and your energy
40:17
and your love and uh
40:21
and you all have a new family now and
40:23
this is the other part of this
40:25
this you’re not going to get rid of each
40:27
other or me
40:30
so i’m grateful for you all and
40:33
to everyone watching thank you guys for
40:36
sitting with us
40:37
and giving us your time
40:41
and giving them your time listen
40:44
listen to what they said take it in
40:47
and then listen to the point where you
40:49
do something because
40:50
life is short life is beautiful and life
40:54
is joyful
40:55
and then we watch all their episodes
40:56
again and share it with everybody you
40:58
know i need a group hug right now
41:08
[Music]
41:18
is
41:20
[Music]
41:25
and no matter how long
41:28
[Music]
41:32
i will only love you from
42:28
you
—
This post was previously published on YouTube.
***
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