Getting Ready To Love Again

Serendipitously finding my new favorite Thai restaurant in Los Angeles felt like a sign. When I walked through the traditional wood carvings and out onto the sweet outdoor dining patio, I mused to my older sister, “I feel like I’m visiting Thailand again. And we’re here in the middle of LA. This would be a perfect date place.”

I have been so lucky in love. I know this both emotionally and intellectually. I have loved and been loved by some of the most amazing men of my generation.

Every time I have met someone who would become one of my boyfriends or someone significant to me, I knew from the moment we made eye contact.

Once, when I was at a large group lunch over Dim Sum at Yank Sing in San Francisco, several new friends of friends joined. We were eating family style and so our host arranged us by dietary preferences. I was seated next to a kind man who was joining the vegetarian grouping of the long table. As my new dining partner introduced himself and sat down next to me, I heard a gentle and loving female spirit voice say to me, “Your life is going to change.” That new dining partner asked me out right after the lunch and became my boyfriend for two years, including living together.

Another boyfriend had the same realization about me. He had walked into a Halloween party and spotted me first. He immediately walked back out to collect himself, and then did a Take 2, beelined right for me, and introduced himself. We spent the rest of the evening dancing together. We were together on and off for years. I will always remember him as one of the great loves of my life.

To the extent that my years in Los Angeles have been relatively quiet on the relationship front, my years in San Francisco were legendary. As the carefree and fairly citywide recklessness of ubiquitous parties and open tabs during the dot com booms of the late 1990s and early 2000s, synced with my early 20s through mid-30s, every day was a heyday.

After being out reveling with girlfriends one night, I finally rolled up to a then new boyfriend’s house party at 1 a.m. As I walked across the threshold of the front door and into the packed living room, his best friend cut the music and joyfully boomed, “WHERE. HAVE. YOU. BEEN?”

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I smiled and announced to the now anticipating crowd, “Darling, I’m not a room warmer. I’m a Closer. ”

The crowd erupted in cheers, the music came back on, and my boyfriend and I found each other for the rest of the evening and morning.

There was a corner Thai restaurant in San Francisco, long since closed, that was my no. 1 go to with family, friends, and dates. It was called Neecha Thai, no relation to Nietzsche the philosopher, though pronounced the same. I was pure vegan at the time and they had the most uncanny way of making some of the most delicious vegan food in the city, especially my favorite Thai Tofu Angel Wings with Flash Fried Basil Leaves, and all the while having a full omnivore menu so truly anyone could get whatever they craved.

I’ve always been really slow to introduce men I’m dating to my family. But there were others in my life who’d get to weigh in, whether I asked them to or not! One such angel was the hostess of Neecha Thai, an amazingly kind, wise, elegant, and loving middle-aged Thai woman named Bennee (pronounced Benny).

She delighted in meeting all my little siblings, who quickly decided Neecha was their favorite restaurant, too, and would oftentimes go there even when I couldn’t join them.

Perhaps even more entertaining to Bennee was weighing in on my dates. She always did this in ways that I would catch, but that they wouldn’t. It was because I knew how effusive and consistently loving she was to me, my siblings, and friends that I knew whenever there was anything amiss.

If Bennee liked my date, she was as effusive and gracious as though I were with my family.

And when she didn’t, she was still always professional, but emotionally distant and a sanitized polite to them. And she would give me a side look as though energetically shaking her head and saying, “You know better.” To be honest, I usually did.

When Neecha closed, it was without ceremony and without goodbyes. One day, the restaurant was suddenly a new name and a new owner. The new proprietors said little to nothing about Neecha, nor how to contact anyone from there.

My siblings and I were crestfallen. To this day, we lament no one can do the Flash Fried Basil Leaves like the chefs at Neecha did.

Love is like that. Each person has their particular magic that no one else can replicate.

Over time, we learn to remember only the Love and Blessings. Even when things don’t last.

During the Christmas holidays of 2019, I was visiting with a neuroscientist friend who is like a son to me. He was guiding me through a mindflooding meditation exercise and in it, I saw a premonition of life three years into the future, of December 2022.

It was my Lake House and I felt the loving home and hearth life that I created with my future husband.

I felt the warm love in the house. I sat in my office on the 1st floor by the window with view of the lake so I could see the sunset and changing light.

I saw the spacious, open Living Room that is the heart of the house and where we hosted large gatherings of family, friends, and community for celebrations, Lightwork, and helping all feel loved, nourished, supported and comforted.

I saw the big pots of Akashic Vitality Soup we would make for guests.

The healthy vegan potluck dishes on communal tables.

The warm kitchen filled with our Ayurvedic herbs.

The 2nd floor for bedrooms, his home office, and my personal sanctuary. No work on my part up there, except for reading and rejuvenation.

I saw the exact layout of the Lake House, felt the presence of my husband, saw him entertaining guests with me, saw him working independently on his own, saw and felt the flow of our integrated lives together.

I could see and feel it all as clearly as I can my current apartment in Los Angeles. As I can of the single person’s life that I have been managing the past few years.

I haven’t yet met said future husband, at least not in person. And I haven’t yet owned my own home.

The vision of the Lake House brightens my view of the future with hope. It was a frequency of domestic bliss that I haven’t quite known in this incarnation, though I have memories of such from other incarnations.

Our experience of life is where our heart and consciousness are. To know that I want this, the peacefulness, divine romantic love, and happy home life of what I saw at my Lake House, helps me align myself to those frequencies.

Right from that day in December 2019, I felt myself recalibrating toward those frequencies. When I cook for myself, I can also envision doing so for, and with, my future husband. When I make decisions, from the macro to the micro, about how I’m building my life, it is with the Lake House vision and frequencies in mind. I ask myself whether my decisions get me in alignment with manifesting my Lake House and husband, or farther from them? And the answers are always clear.

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It is a blessing to have memories from the future Light the Way.

We can all do this with every aspect of our lives. Envision what you want. And take action with the practical next steps to align with the frequencies so you can manifest in real time, on this timeline.

With your own unique magic, bring through infinite quantum Love, Light, Healing, Levity, and positive Transformation for the world.

We do this in alignment together so we strengthen ourselves, each other, and help uplift and strengthen all of humanity.

We live in alignment with our individual Ultimate Timelines, the highest vibration frequencies and scenarios for our lives. In doing so, we help Earth and all humans be on their Ultimate Timelines.

As for my new favorite Thai dish in Los Angeles? It’s Pineapple Curry with Tofu and vegetables, at Chan Dara. There’s always room for New Love ~ and Dessert!