We are not here on earth to see through each other. We are here to see each other through.
- Unknown
I was in my sunroom this past summer, when I heard a woman’s voice call out, “Knock, knock!” at my front door.
I got up from where I was sitting and walked, rather gingerly, to the front door. A friend of mine was standing on the other side of the screen door, holding an armful of fresh veggies from her garden.
“Wellness check!” she said, cheerfully. “Just wanted to check in and see how you were doing.”
I’d spent the previous two weeks in bed, riding out a nasty batch of cluster migraines.
I laughed at her use of the term, “Wellness Check,” and opened the screen door.
“I’m okay,” I said. “Still moving pretty slowly…but the worst of it is over.”
“Good!” she said and handed me a small mountain of produce.
I share this sweet story not just because it was a kind gesture for a friend to check in on me. I share this story because the act of doing a “Wellness Check” is perhaps far more important than we realize.
Although I laughed when she called her visit a “Wellness Check,” I couldn’t help but think back to an incident many years ago when another friend’s perfectly timed phone call saved my life.
Literally.
I was thirty-two at the time and my husband had died suddenly three months before. I had been surrounded by concerned and compassionate people during those three months. Hourly wellness checks had gradually become daily wellness checks. And quite frankly, by the time the three-month marker rolled around, I’d had enough of the damn wellness checks. I was sick and tired of being bothered all the time.
But then wouldn’t you know it, I hit a grief speed bump one night and was catapulted headfirst into the pit of despair…the dark night of the soul, as it were. One moment I was reasonably okay, the next moment I was emotionally and mentally circling the bowl…and just like that, taking my own life suddenly seemed like a viable option. A way out of the pain. To hell with the consequences—both on my soul and the hearts of those I would be leaving behind.
For in my experience, when the idea of suicide raised its ugly head—for the first and last time in my life—there was not a lot of rational thought going on anymore.
At any rate, as I was sitting in my basement all those years ago, staring at the fire and figuring out the how (my husband’s painkillers, leftover from an old injury), the damn phone rang…multiple times, actually. I let all the calls go to voicemail. I was past the point of wanting help. I just wanted the hurt to be over.
But for some reason, I decided to pick up the call from this particular friend. He was just checking in on me.
It was a short conversation…just enough to break the spell. Just enough to shock me back into the reality of what I was contemplating.
For a wellness check doesn’t just say “I care.” A wellness check can often be exactly what is needed to break a treacherous train of thought…the kind that is leading the thinker right off the end of the end of the track—often at lightening speed.
As I wrote about in a recent post, people can, and do, take their own lives when the pain becomes too much and the ability to think rationally has gone out the window.
If you have someone in your life that you have been thinking about checking in with, please do so. As soon as possible. You may never know just how much they need to hear from you.
Wellness checks can, and do, save lives.
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