For many years, some of the most common mental struggles I faced were doubt and fear.
Doubt about my abilities, thoughts, and actions left me feeling like I could not achieve anything.
Fear of the unknown or worry about what may happen in the future can make it hard to sleep at night.
Doubt and fear are natural parts of life, but they don’t’ control life.
These feelings are often signs that I need to take greater control over my emotions and reactions.
Here is a guide I want to share with you that has helped me deal with doubt and fear, no matter what I struggle with.
What is Doubt?
Doubt is a feeling of uncertainty about something, and it’s’ a common human experience that we all face from time to time.
But it can also be one of the most difficult feelings to deal with.
Whenever I am struggling with doubt, I take these steps, and most often, I find more peace:
-I Recognize and accept my feelings
-I don’t’ try suppressing or ignoring them; I acknowledge them as they come up. Accepting what I am feeling is the first step towards healing it
-I take care of my physical needs first: Sleep enough, eat right, and exercise regularly. My body is an integral part of finding peace of mind
-I sit with the discomfort for a while without distracting myself
-I find something new to do. I see a new hobby or activity that can help occupy your thoughts and regularly give you a sense of accomplishment
-I seek new experiences: I challenge myself by trying new things or going somewhere new. The unknown can be exciting, and there’s no better way to combat worries than by taking on challenges head-on!
Doubting is not the problem, How I handle doubt is.
How I Overcome Doubt
Doubt is a familiar feeling that can make me feel like I cannot achieve anything.
Even the most successful people in the world have felt doubt in their careers and lives.
When confronted by doubt, some people may need to take a break from work, some from a relationship, while others may need to re-evaluate their personal life. Either way, doubting is never easy.
When I feel doubtful, I try to move forward with curiosity and optimism — let go of any limiting thoughts and see what happens when I try.
The worst thing that can happen is that I fail, but even if that happens, I know that it doesn’t mean that my life is over or that I am doomed to fail at everything else.
If something goes wrong, I say, “I’ll’ try again.”
What is Fear?
Fear is a feeling of unease, anxiety, or dread, usually responding to a threat.
There are many different types of fear:
– The Fear of failure
– The Fear of making mistakes
– The Fear of the unknown
-The Fear of being judged
Note to self: No matter the source of the fear, it is valuable information to help me.
How to Overcome Fear and Doubt
Fear and doubt are natural parts of life, but they don’t’ have to control my life, or not anymore anyway.
Here is a step-by-step action plan I used to carry in my pocket on a post-it for three years.
Every time I felt doubt and fear, I would take my note and go through this checklist:
1. Do I Understand the problem?
2. Have I Chosen a course of action?
3. Have I taken action?
4. Have I acknowledged the successes?
5. What have I learned from the failures?
* On the back of the note, it said: REPEAT IF NECESSARY
Summary
Doubt is a mental state where the mind is suspended between two or more contradictory statements, unable to be sure of any of them.
On an emotional level, doubt is my indecision between believing and not believing.
If I can identify what I fear, I have won half of the battle before it even started.
I try to find the situations and triggers linked to my doubts and fears before it breaks into full-blown doubt or fear.
I visualize myself succeeding in what I doubt or fear the most.
I celebrate the small successes- no matter how small.
I remember that fear is a four-letter word, but so is love.
So, I treat myself with compassion and love.
I remind myself that the only thing I have to fear is fear itself
I ask for help.
Asking for help may be the most challenging but necessary.
I cannot overcome a fear that remains hidden in the cloudy regions of my subconscious.
When I face my fears (rather than turn away from them), I will learn what they look like and how they affect me.
In other words, fear is a stranger until I make friends with it, then it becomes my ally.
When I started to face my fears (rather than walk away from them), I noticed things about my fears that I didn’t know before.
This awareness helped me not only to overcome it but to prepare for doubt and fear.
Fear and anxiety can become a pattern in our lives, but they don’t have to.
In the end, learning to cope with fear and doubt healthily is what life is all about.
—
This post was previously published on Medium.com.
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want a deeper connection with our community, please join us as a Premium Member today.
Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit:  Bich Tran från Pexels
